Nuzlocke Black: Shine a Light in the Darkness
by avatarjk137
Summary: Layla is a newbie Pokemon trainer who sets out to become champion of Unova, Team Plasma be damned, but who is she, really?  Nothing is what it seems on the surface. Based on a Nuzlocke run of Pkmn Black. Rated for violence, strong language. No pairings.
1. Outset

**Welcome to my Nuzlocke run, everybody! For those unfamiliar with the concept, a Nuzlocke challenge involves a person playing a game of Pokemon under additional, self-imposed rules and making a comic or fanfiction of the result. Despite the fact that this story is a dramatization of an actual playthrough of the game, I went into this with some pre-existing plot ideas, and I plan to give you a strong central story. Here are the rules:**

**-If a Pokémon faints, it's 'dead' and must be placed permanently in the designated 'cemetery' box.**

**-Only the first Pokémon in each location (route, town, or dungeon) can be caught, including gifts.**

**-If the first Pokémon found is in the same evolutionary family as a living Pokémon I already have, I can take ONE mulligan on that route/dungeon and treat the next Pokémon as 'first.'**

**-****Shinies are exempt from the 'first Pokémon' rule because they are a jackpot by nature.**

**-Nickname everything (in this case, after a Fire Emblem character).**

**-No legendaries.**** Reshiram is permissible for the fights against N and Ghetsis ONLY.**

**-No breeding.**

**The purpose of the exercise is more than simply a challenge, more than creating something to write about. It's a reason to familiarize oneself with even weaker Pokemon, and to learn to care about every single one of them. I hope you enjoy the result!  
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**Chapter 1: Outset**

_Layla! As soon as you choose your Pokémon, your journey begins!_ Professor Juniper's words still bounced around my head as I stared at the box. I was almost drooling with impatience to open it, but we had promised… to wait… for…

"Bianca!" Cheren snapped. "There she is!" His forehead was shoved against my window, and he was gazing down at my front walk. Cheren and Bianca had been my best friends since childhood, and we were all sixteen now. It seemed only natural that we all set out on our Pokémon journeys at the same time.

Cheren was dressed in a white T-shirt with a red 'Y' pattern, some far-too-tight black jeans, blue loafers, a blue jacket, and his trademark glasses. He was skinny, with blue eyes and a serious face, and his medium-length black hair hung around his head except for a single lock that stuck straight up. He was definitely the smart guy of the group, but he could be a dick sometimes and had this tendency to get way competitive, sometimes to the point where he missed the big picture.

We both listened in silence as Bianca stumbled up the stairs. She opened by bedroom door with the overenthusiasm of a comic relief sitcom character, and I winced as it slammed against the wall. "Am I late again? Soooo-oooorry!" Okay, maybe she is a comic relief sitcom character. Bianca's got blonde hair in this weird poofy hairstyle that's wider than her hips, and green eyes. She wears a white dress, an orange blazer, orange leggings, and white shoes. She's also got a hat like a huge green beret with a white stripe and a big ol' green bag that she's always lugging around.

"Bianca, I've known you can't get anywhere on time for ten years, but seriously…" Cheren grumbled. "This is the day I become a man! They day you two become women!" I smiled. This was a right of passage.

"I know…" she whined. "Sorry, Layla. Sorry, Cheren. So, where are the Pokémon? They were delivered to Layla's house, so Layla gets first pick." I could see Cheren winding up to deliver a protest about how they were only delivered here because my house was dead center of this crummy little hamlet, so I made a move for the box. Cheren surprised me as I got there by controlling himself and reluctantly agreeing with Bianca, and they both flanked me eagerly.

I swallowed, looked back at my friends over my shoulder, and opened the lid. There was a note. "I've brought three Pokémon, one for you and one for each of your friends. Please settle your choices politely, and enjoy!" I sighed. We had already worked this out. We weren't children. Reaching in, I took the Pokeball whose cushion was marked with a fireball. I knew not to screw around. That little fireball was like a personal guarantee to me – I would get power, if I could control it. I relished the challenge as I opened the Pokeball.

In a flash, a little orange-and-black piglet was released onto my desk. He grinned up at me, his close-set black ears like the folds of a bandanna. "Hello," he said. "You must be my new master. I'm Tepig. Who're you?"

"My name's Layla," I replied. I felt something deep inside me well up, some sort of deep joy like learning that you have a little brother. Or maybe it was gas. I don't know, I've never had a little brother. "You have a name yet, little guy?" I was dimly aware of Bianca nabbing a Snivy next to me. The Tepig shook his head. "Alright… I'm gonna call you Tormod. Does that sound good?" The Tepig's eyes got really big and watery, and before I could tell him otherwise, he had leapt into my arms for a hug. I cradled him numbly. I hadn't been touched like that in years.

Met Tormod in Nuvema Town!  
>Male Tepig lv. 5.<br>Lonely nature, Blaze.  
>Strong willed.<p>

In the mirror, I caught a glimpse of Cheren with his brand new Oshawott, talking about how this was always the one he had wanted. I shifted my gaze to myself. Tormod had burrowed his nose past my black jacket and against my white tank top. I was also wearing long, torn jeans, my black and pink shoes and armband, and my white and pink cap. My bag – I travelled lighter than Bianca – rested on my bed. I looked at my face. Despite the long sleeves, I had managed to tan pretty nicely so far this summer, and it made my blue eyes stand out more. Behind me my red hair spilled out the back of my hat in unchecked waves – it clashed with the pink, but I was hardly Unova's greatest fashion crime. "This young lady is a Pokémon trainer," I said to myself, and broke out in a wolfish grin. FUCK YES.

"Yes she is!" Bianca said, and I looked back to her, trying to figure out which of us she was talking about. "Gimme a hug!" she cried, advancing, and I remembered why I don't like contact.

"Hey, no touchie," I muttered, stepping back. Bianca blinked and nodded in realization.

"Sorry… hey, wanna battle instead?" She smiled innocently. "I've never done it before, and I want to get a feel for it."

"Right here, in the bedroom?" Cheren spluttered, looking up from his new otter friend. "I know they aren't strong yet, but won't that wreck all Layla's stuff?" With Bianca as the heart and Cheren as the brains, I had gradually become the muscle of our little troupe. I think Cheren had started to become afraid of me… or maybe he had a crush on me. It was hard to tell what Cheren was keeping under that swollen forehead. At any rate, he'd work it out on his own.

"I'm fine with it," I said. "It's furniture. It'll be alright." Clapping happily, Bianca took her place across the room from me. She extracted her Pokeball (with difficulty, bless her soul) from her bag and tossed it, revealing her Snivy. I nodded at Tormod. "Ready?" He nodded back, and I looked up, satisfied. "Tormod, use Tail Whip!"

"Link, use Leer!" Bianca shot back. Tormod obediently turned and shook his ass at the Snivy, hoping to bait it into making more mistakes with a single glance. Oh, and he glanced. It was quite intimidating, but the real hostilities had to start soon. "Tackle!" we cried in near-unison. Snivy proved himself faster and got in the first strike, causing Tepig to stumble back, but Tepig's tackle hit dead-on and sent Snivy sprawling. "Yeah, a critical hit!" I cried out.

Bianca must've realized her sudden disadvantage, because she blurted out, "Link! Get out of there!" Obediently, Link escaped the next tackle by jumping up on my bed… then my computer desk… then up onto my wall… "Get behind him!" Bianca cried out, recovering. "Tackle again!" And he did. Tormod couldn't keep up with Snivy's speed, and the snake hit him again. He stumbled and shrugged it off.

"One more, Tormod!" I called, as Snivy circled around behind again. Tormod sprang off his powerful front legs and flipped over in midair, landing hammy-shoulder first against Link's back and sending the snake crashing to the floor. "Nice! That makes us one and zero!"

"Easy, Layla," Cheren cautioned as he walked over with a Potion for our worn-out Pokémon. "You don't want to break through the floor in addition to knocking everything over." Bianca and I noted the pawprints all over the room and the toppled stuff in embarrassment. To be fair, most of it was Snivy. "Besides, now that I've healed your Tepig's wounds, I want to battle as well!"

"Alright, no problem," I said with a shrug. "Tormod, you up for round 2?" "I think I'm up for round 2," he said. "We think we're up for round 2!" I echoed confidently.

"Right on!" Cheren pointed at Tormod and I. "I've analyzed your fighting style, so there's no way I can lose! Go, Megaman!" His Oshawott waddled forward. "Use Tackle!"

"Tormod, Tail Whip!" Megaman crashed into my pig, but not before he had given it a good shake of his ass. This time, I had the faster Pokémon. "Tormod, now use Tackle!"

"Keep Tackling, Mega! And keep it in the middle of the room, we can win without tearing this place apart!" I watched our Pokémon clash head on, and then again. Both of them were dazed, but I could see that Tormod's defenses were holding up better. Since he was also faster, this put Cheren in a bad situation "No! You can do it!"

"It's no use!" Megaman grunted. "I'm sorry, Cheren!"

"Tormod, take out the trash!" I called, and he got beneath the Oshawott and pushed up. Megaman was knocked through the air and landed… just short of the wastebasket. Oh well, it was his first try. "Alright, that's enough!"

"Damn!" Cheren walked over to Megaman and helped him up. "That was tough. Why didn't my strategy work?"

"Tormod here was doing more damage per hit," I said, picking up my pig. "Knowing my strategy isn't going to do you any good if you don't adjust your won strategy to deal with it."

"You're right…" Cheren sighed. "Oh well, just more room for us to improve, eh, Megaman? Come on, guys, let's go apologize to Layla's mom for wrecking the room."

"Oh… yeah…" Bianca giggled nervously, getting up from admiring my Wii (the largest thing left in the room without Snivy pawprints on it). "I'm coming!" I was the last down the stairs, and I could already hear Cheren apologizing to my mother.

"Oh, there you are, Layla." My mother looked much like an older version of myself, except her hair was a more generic chestnut brown and she wore dresses. "Cheren already told me, but I could hear it upstairs. Those must've been some battles!"

"We're REALLY sorry," Bianca stressed.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just an inconvenience. I remember my first Pokémon… I'd have done the same thing." She shook her head, turning back toward the living room. "Professor Juniper was looking for you kids, so why don't you go see her?"

"Oh, right. Probably to see how the Pokémon are doing with us." Cheren turned to his Oshawott. "I'm gonna grab another Potion for the little guy before we go see her, I haven't healed him from the battle yet."

"I've gotta go pick up some things at my house," Bianca said, looking at the floor. "Why don't we meet at the lab in ten minutes?"

"Sounds good," I called to their retreating backs.

"Oh, honey, don't forget your Ex-transceiver," my mom called from over her newspaper.

"It's called a cross-transceiver, mom," I chuckled. She made an ambivalent noise. Mom had always been sort of laid back, but I was sure we hadn't always been so distant with each other. I couldn't blame her, though, considering… "…bye," I muttered awkwardly as I walked out the front door.

* * *

><p>Cheren and I met up near Juniper's lab, a block or so from our house. There really wasn't much to the town – not even a Pokémon center until Accumula. "Bianca's late," he said after a few minutes of small talk and snacks (Cheren ate some sunflower seeds, while I had a stick of jerky), and I grimaced. Cheren could really charge his words with meaning. "Would you go check on her?" I didn't respond, I just started walking.<p>

I could hear the shouting from three houses away. "Absolutely not!" Bianca's dad shouted. "I didn't even want you to have the Pokémon!"

"But daaaaaddy…"

"But nothing! Pokémon lead to journeys all over the country, and people like to talk about how those journeys are valuable experiences that lead to meaningful friendships and life lessons, but I know what kind of life lessons are really happening out there!" I walked in at this point. "DEATH! Your Pokémon could die-" Bianca's father, a fat man with a red face and great curls of blond hair, snapped his fingers for emphasis – "Just like that! And not just your Pokémon, YOU. Two weeks ago I had to embalm a girl not a year older than you, Bianca, because she got killed in an accident at the Driftveil Gym!"

Okay, maybe that requires some explanation. Bianca's dad works in Mistralton, in a funeral home near the Celestial Tower (there's a big cemetery there for those who want to be buried near their Pokémon). He flew in every weekend, since one of Mistralton's helicopter pilots also lives in town. I suppose it would make sense for a guy with a job like that to want to shelter his kid. Still, Bianca was a big girl now and she had to start making her own decisions sometime. "Daddy, please, those are one in ten thousand-"

"We really should let her go," Bianca's mom said placatingly from the other room. "Maybe just to get her first badge for a start, and then we'll see-"

Bianca's dad had been regaining his energy for anger, and now it burst out again. "None of this baby step bullshit! That's exactly how we'll lose her! And you!" He turned to me. "Stay out of this, carrot top! Just because your mom let you run around in the forest unattended since you were little-"

"I'm not saying anything," I said, which was true – I was kinda hoping he'd calm down just from embarrassment at having company watching him rage.

"I'm putting my foot down," he grumbled, but he did quite the opposite – he collapsed into a recliner and put his feet up. Bianca seemed to take this as an invitation to leave, and urgently beckoned for me to follow her out the door. I closed the door quietly behind us.

"Sorry you had to deal with all that," she said quietly as Cheren came into sight. "He'll warm up to the idea."

* * *

><p>Juniper's lab was a little different from what I had expected. No giant computers, no surgical equipment, no smell of preservatives. There was a full wall of books and a computer that looked like it was designed for function over form. A simple medical examination table was present, along with what looked like archaeology tools. But Juniper studies Pokémon origins, so I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. Less surprising was that she lived here; many of the older businesses in Unova still had living quarters in-house, and I know she wasn't the first Professor Juniper in her family.<p>

"You guys are here!" she said. "Perfect timing. Now, whip out your balls!" We all stared. "Let's see those Pokémon!" she paraphrased. Relieved, we all released our Pokémon. Juniper bent down and stared at them all, then reached to pick up Tormod, but stopped halfway. "Your Pokémon are really bonding with you guys fast… have you already had a battle?"

"Yeah, Layla fought both of us and won!" Bianca trilled.

"Well, one at a time…" I said sheepishly.

"Really? That's impressive." Juniper got up. "I suppose you three are going to travel around Unova, take in the sights, maybe take the gym challenge?" After hearing our muttered assents, she smiled. "Then I have something in my front pocket for you guys!"

"…What," Cheren said, speaking for all of us.

"A Pokédex!" She pulled three phone-like devices from the front pocket of her lab coat.

"Oh, sweet, the internet!" I said, grabbing them. I flipped mine open as I handed the other two to my friends. "And a catalog of some kind."

"Yeah, I'm taking a page from the book of the legendary Professor Oak and sending a bunch of kids out to gather data for a national Pokémon catalog for me! You don't have to, of course, but I'd appreciate it if you three gathered data on whatever you catch!"

"But won't data from kids turn out wildly exaggerated or wholly false like in those foreign 'Dexes?" Cheren asked piercingly.

"COME!" Juniper shouted over him, walking past us toward the door. "Let's go to the edge of town, I have to teach you kids to catch some Pokeymanz!"

"I guess we should follow her," I suggested. They agreed, although Cheren rubbed his temples.

We had hardly taken ten steps out of the lab when my mom nearly bumped into us. "Oh… hey, kids. I see you're getting ready to leave." She nodded approvingly at our packed bags. "This isn't as hard for the new generation as it used to be, I'm sure you'll be fine." She rummaged through her purse, muttering about how terrible itemfinders used to be. "Ah, here we go!" She presented us each with folded pieces of paper. "Maps of Unova! I'm glad I taught you all how to read these last year!"

"Wow, thanks, Mrs. Black!" Bianca said, Cheren echoing her. "We'll see you soon, I promise!" We started to walk off toward Route 1, but a glance from my mom stopped me.

"Layla…" she said, smiling sadly. Arceus, I hated tender moments. I wonder if they were uncomfortable between everybody as they were between the two of us.

"Mom, I'll be fine. You were younger than me when you did this." I reluctantly smiled at her. "I'm not a kid anymore."

"No…" mom looked away. "You haven't been my little girl for a while…" she swallowed and turned back. "But you've still got some maturing to do. And so do Bianca and Cheren… Cheren even more than Bianca, I think. Look after them, okay?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Bianca's distant cry. "Come on, Layla, I want us to take our first step out of town together!"

I smiled; that was so fucking cheesy. "Yeah, I'll make sure everything goes alright." I turned away. "I'll talk to you soon, mom, call me any time."

**Well, this should be interesting, not least because I haven't cross-played since Crystal first allowed female PCs. Yes, I'm a male despite Layla being female. I have my reasons.**

**I'd appreciate any questions, comments, or critiques. If you don't have anything nice to say, I'm still interested in hearing it.**

**Next: Friends and Enemies in Route 1, Accumula Town, and Route 2.  
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Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke

Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak

Layla (c) me


	2. Friends and Enemies

**Fun fact of the chapter: This is actually my third attempt at a Nuzlocke... and my first two were the day before my third began. In my first, I forgot that you have to delete an old save file before starting a new game, you can't just save over shit... so I thought maybe I'd do a run without turning my DS off and just keep it charged, but then I fought Cress too early with my Tepig and pair of Patrats (Rolf and Leonardo) and suffered a total party kill. Valuable learning experience. In my second, I suffered a critical hit from Cheren and died immediately. Sadly, the first playthrough had a slightly better nature on my Tepig (the one that raises attack and lowers special defense).**

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 2: Friends and Enemies**

"Alright, kids, I've got to show you how to catch a Pokémon!" Juniper explained when they reached the threshold of Route 1's tall grass. "Go, Frappucino!" Juniper sent out a silvery, overly cute rodent-like Pokémon. Juniper began rooting around in the tall grass, until eventually she found herself confronted by a Patrat – a chipmunk-like thing with a long tail and freaky red-and-yellow-bullseye eyes.

Bianca watched, fascinated, but Cheren and I had already researched how to catch wild Pokémon, so we didn't pay much attention. "What say we make this more interesting?" I offered Cheren.

His eyes glinted. "What did you have in mind?"

"We'll all have dinner in Accumula tonight. If any of us can't catch a Pokémon by the time we get there, they pay for the whole thing."

"Okay, sounds good," Cheren said. "I know I need a chance to make you pay me back for beating me." Of course, he and Bianca had paid me some of their pocket money on the way out of the house, as was tradition. It dated back to ancient times, when people with stronger Pokémon would extort money from those with weaker Pokémon. More pleasantly, a tradition dating back to the first Pokémon league overseas was for travelling trainers taking the Gym challenge to support themselves only on Pokémon battle winnings and amateur treasure hunts. I had to thank Cheren for explaining this to me; he was like a walking history textbook sometimes, only more interesting. Well, a little more interesting.

Juniper had finished with her demonstration by now, and offered us each her balls – that was how she explained it, at least. I think she was just fucking with us. I eagerly took some Pokeballs and explained the situation to Bianca under my breath. She seemed more into it than I was, and I had thought of it.

"Alright, you kids, I'm gonna go on ahead to Accumula! When you get there, I'll explain how the Pokémon center works!" I suppressed a groan as she left. More stuff I'd had explained to me before.

"Alright, split up and find some Pokémon!" Cheren shouted.

"Don't need to tell me twice!" I said, diving into the tall grass where Juniper had caught the Patrat. I began rooting around.

"You're perfect!" I turned around to look for the sound of the voice – nothing. "Down here!" At my feet was a Lillipup, a small canine thing with brown and black fur and a particularly thick scruff on its face. "Yeah, you big dumb animal," he yipped. "Perfect fodder for THE GIANTSLAYER!" He leapt at me, but I dodged out of the way.

"Whoa there, little guy," I said. "If you want to slay me, first you'll have to get past my little friend." I released Tormod from his Pokéball. "Let's weaken him, Tormod. I'm gonna catch him."

"A Tepig?" The Lillipup snorted derisively. "Hardly a fair fight! He's only a little taller than me, and not even three times my weight!"

"Let's see you put your money where your mouth is!" Tormod tackled the little dog, sending him sprawling.

"Ah!" he gasped, struggling to his feet. "You stalwart!"

I had seen enough. "Pokéball, go!" The ball snapped against his head and opened, sucking him in. It shook once, twice, thrice, and… click. I had caught myself a Pokémon. "Nice!"

Met Edward on Route 1!  
>Male Lillipup lv. 2.<br>Rash nature, Pickup.  
>Capable of taking hits.<p>

I got to know Edward through using him in a few battles (along with Tepig). He opened up to me pretty quickly as we fought other Lillipups and Patrats. Not much else happened, except for a woman ranting about how my Pokémon looked injured and I should give them a potion. At the end of the route, I spotted Cheren and Bianca. They each had a Pokémon; Bianca had a Lillipup of her own named Malon, and Cheren had grabbed something I hadn't even seen during the afternoon. "Guess nobody's paying," I said sheepishly.

* * *

><p>Cheren managed to make some excuse about training his new Pokémon, but I was stuck with Bianca listening to Juniper's lecture on how Pokémon Centers were the best thing since the Pokéball and how in other countries Pokémon Marts were in a whole separate building and how blah blah blah free health care. Worse, she almost grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the counter – luckily, I explained to her my "no touchie rule" first. Personally, I thought Nurse Joy was a creeper, and one of the Mart clerks was so dumb I could swear I saw him eating an envelope, but whatever. Free healing was free healing, and I bought some extra Potions to be safe.<p>

On the way out, I noticed a crowd gathering. Cheren was toward the back, which was fine with me – I don't like to get jostled, if you couldn't guess. "What's going on?" I asked.

"The freak show rolled into town. Their boss is about to talk – I think they called him Dennis." I stood up on my toes and peered over some great fat guy's shoulder. Okay, it was a bunch of knight and squire guys from the Renaissance fair with some crazy flags. I was ready to pass it all off and go find us a fast food joint, but then this Dennis guy showed up, and I just couldn't stop staring. He must have been the wizard… that was the only way I could rationalize his clothes. He was wearing this bi-colored asymmetrical cloak with huge eyes drawn on it, and a huge collar-type-thing that looked like a crenellated wall, a weird red-lensed monocle… and he had long, wavy, sand-colored hair that hung down onto his massive collar – except for three massive cowlicks that framed his face. "Is he some kind of street performer?" Cheren asked.

"Arceus, I hope so," I said. "I want to see him juggle while wearing that."

Edward, who I had left out of his Pokéball, brushed against my leg. "I can't see! Let me see!" Obligingly, I lifted him up and placed him on my head. Cheren saw me and did the same for his Oshawott.

"My dear fellow citizens," Dennis called, "I am Ghetsis of Team Plasma. You may think Pokémon are your friends, but you're probably wrong! Pokémon aren't toys, they're majestic and powerful creatures and it's so wrong to walk around with a half-dozen on our belts. You're probably abusing or neglecting them without even knowing it. You should all give up your Pokémon – or better yet, join Team Plasma so we can liberate more Pokémon! Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience, I won't waste any more of your time, I gotta roll." He marched off with his knights of the round – Team Plasma, as they called themselves.

I heard the crowd muttering to themselves about liberating Pokémon. Thankfully, most of them agreed with me – Ghetsis was out of his tree. Pokémon and humans enjoyed working alongside each other! "What a load of bunk," I said, and Cheren nodded emphatically. I noticed a guy walking up to us, his cap pulled low over his face. This set off a small alarm bell in my mind. "Can I help you, sir?" I asked before he got too close.

"Your Pokémon… they're talking…" His voice came out in a rushed whisper, and he didn't make eye contact. I frowned at the guy. He was pretty well-dressed for a mentally ill guy; I adjusted my judgment of him. He wasn't mentally ill; he was the lonely and rich type.

"Pardon?" Cheren asked. "You're speaking too fast, and not making any sense." He looked uncertain; Cheren didn't know what to do with people he couldn't talk to rationally.

"Yes, they're talking." N leaned down to Megaman, and whispered to it. "But it seems you can't understand." He blinked, leaning back, and spoke more loudly (but still quickly). "Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet! My name is N."

"N?" Cheren parroted incredulously.

N didn't dignify that with a response; instead he stared at the Pokédex hanging out of Cheren's jacket pocket. "A Pokédex? Then you'll be confining so many Pokémon in Pokeballs…"

"What business is it of yours?" Cheren asked. I noticed a Purrloin (a purple feline with cream-colored patches and a tail like a sickle) making its way out of a nearby alley.

"It just doesn't sit right with me…" N said. "I'm a trainer, too, but I wonder if it's really right to keep Pokémon locked up in little orbs." I looked down at his belt. He wasn't wearing one. No Pokeballs, as far as I could see.

"Listen, man," I said. "This is starting to get weird and abrasive. If you're a trainer, what say we settle this like trainers?"

"Hmm, sounds intriguing." N turned to face me, although he still didn't make eye contact. A chilly wind picked up, blowing his long green hair in front of his face. "I want to get a good feeling for the voice of your Pokémon. Go, Purrloin!" The Purrloin from the alley dashed in front of him.

"Okay, if that's the way you want to play… get him, Edward. Give him your best Leer."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" The dog leapt off my hat and landed between me and the cat and staring daggers at it. The cat wasn't nearly so reserved, just slashing at Edward's face. Edward shook it off and tackled the cat, knocking it to the ground, but it scratched him again and squirmed free.

"More!" N cried. "Let me hear the voice of your Pokémon!"

_He's not giving the Purrloin commands at all,_ I realized. _Is it just a stray cat?_ "Edward, Tackle it again!"

"Edward the Giantslayer!" Edward cried, never mind that the Purrloin was exactly his height. The cat scratched him again, but he knocked it to the ground, growling. The Purrloin hissed and ran off. "Hey, come back, you foul beast!" Edward chased after it despite my protests. "I must protect my beloved master!"

"I… see…" N said, staring after our Pokémon. "I never expected to hear such things from a trainer's Pokémon. But as long as they're confined in Pokéball, they'll never become perfect beings." Okay, now he was losing me again with the philosophy crap. "All Pokémon are my friends," he said, dropping his winnings in front of me. "And for my friends… I'll change the world!" And then he was gone, just running off like a wind-blown leaf.

"That was so weird," Cheren said. "I wanted to fight that guy. Layla, I'm gonna see if I can still get a fight with that guy. I'll meet you and Bianca for some grub soon enough."

"Hey! Layla!" I looked up to see Edward returning from the alley. He hadn't caught the Purrloin, but he had found a bottle. "This was in the alley! What is it?"

I snatched it from his mouth. "It's an Antidote. It cures poisoning."

"Can you drink it?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know," I admitted. "It's either topical, or it's for drinking…" I uncapped the bottle and shook it with my finger over the mouth, letting some get on my finger. Tasting it confirmed that it was drinkable. And lemony. "Let's save it for when we need it, okay?" I shoved the antidote into my bag. "This seems like it could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Edward."

* * *

><p>Night was falling as we crossed Route 2. Tormod had just handily dispatched a trainer's Patrat, and we were feeling pretty good about ourselves. "Alright, Tormod, take five. Let Edward take over for a while." Suddenly, my Xtransceiver began to beep. "Hello?" I asked, and was relieved to see my mom's picture on the other end.<p>

"Layla, how are you doing?" she asked. "Where are you staying tonight?"

"I'm gonna be at Striaton City in an hour," I told her. "I'll grab a couch at the Pokémon Center there. Or I can just camp out here if I have to, I've got gear."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "This is really the safest part of Unova anyway. That's really why I called, I guess, just… stay safe, okay? I said take care of Bianca and Cheren, but… take care of yourself, too."

"I will, mom," I said. She looked like she had a question for me that she was afraid to ask, which I always took as my hint that it was time to get out of the conversation. "We can chat tomorrow, but I really want to hurry to Striaton before I get too tired, okay? Bye mom, love you!" I hung up halfway through her response.

"Did somebody say love?" Following the voice, I looked up. A pair of glowing green eyes flared out from the branches of the tree to my right. "Hey, there, beautiful, what's your name?" A Purrloin stepped out from the shadows and leapt to ground level.

"The name's Layla," I said. "And I'm a Pokémon trainer. What say you join my team?"

The cat laughed. "_You're_ a Pokémon trainer? That's a laugh. You insult me with the offer, but you know… share some food with me and I'll call it even."

"And you'll join?"

"Pfft! No!" She laughed again. "I just want some dinner as reparations for the insult. I don't need your permission, you know…" she said, her eyes glinting.

"Neither do I, that's the beauty of the system. Edward! Tackle and pin her!"

"Right!" Edward did exactly as asked. She barely had time to growl at him.

"What's… get off, dog breath! I'm not into guys!" I tossed the Pokéball, and she struggled for a while, but it eventually clicked shut.

Met Heather on Route 2!  
>Female Purrloin lv. 5.<br>Timid nature, Unburden.  
>Alert to sounds.<p>

"Well, we're starting to become a motley crew already, aren't we?" I chuckled, picking up Heather's Pokéball.

"Damn right!" Edward shouted enthusiastically. "Wait, motley means 'awesome,' right?"

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter: Rival battles, training, evil monkeys, and the first Gym battle!<strong>

Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke  
>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<br>Layla (c) me


	3. Do No Evil

**Welcome to Chapter 3! This is where it starts to get good!**

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 3: Do No Evil**

At the stairs leading up to Striaton City, I found Bianca. Or maybe she found me. She looked like she'd been waiting for me. "Layla!" she called, with an excited wave. "Laaaay-la!"

"Yeah?" I asked. "What is it, Bianca, it's getting late." It was past eleven, a glance at my X-Transceiver told me. Heather was exhausted from the first round of her training, and Edward and Tormod were getting tired too.

"I know!" She giggled. "I've never been out this late in my life! My dad would kill me!" I couldn't help but smile as well. She was a sweet girl, but she was just getting so much enjoyment out of a little rebelling. "Hey, let's have a Pokémon battle before we head over to the center!"

"I don't know, Bianca, it's kind of late," I said, unsure. I looked down at Tormod.

"Hey, no worries, we got this, Layla," he said. I smiled and nodded at Bianca.

"Alright!" she squeaked triumphantly. "Go, Malon!" She deployed her Lillipup, a female one with a pink ribbon behind its ear, and without the ridiculous overconfidence that Edward sported. "You may have beaten me in your room this morning, but I've gotten better since then! You won't defeat me so easily!"

* * *

><p>"You defeated me so easily," Bianca moaned, hanging her head. She prodded her bowl sadly. "I thought I had gotten better, but I really hadn't."<p>

"You've improved," I said as gently as I could with a full mouth, "I just spent the whole evening training." I swallowed the last of my bagel and Magikarp lox. "That was still my toughest trainer battle yet."

"Do you really mean that?" she asked.

"Absolutely. Are you going to finish your oatmeal?"

She poked at it a bit more and then gave it to me. "What are you doing today, Layla?"

"Well, I thought I'd track down Cheren – he wasn't at the Pokémon center last night. And I'm going to scope out the Striaton gym, and decide if I need more training before I battle them. How about you?"

"The same, I guess," she said with a soft shrug. "I heard they don't like to let you go to Route 3 unless you have a badge or are accompanied by somebody who does. You know what they say about Pokémon getting stronger." I nodded, shoveling oatmeal into my mouth. Bianca had added too much cinnamon for my tastes, but travelling like this, I later learned, tended to give me a huge appetite, so down the hatch it went. "I'm definitely going to check out the Dreamyard after dinner at the latest. Oh! You know, I think Cheren said he'd be hanging around the Trainer's School when I battled him earlier last night." She blinked. "He's stronger than me, so don't take him lightly in a battle."

* * *

><p>"I warned you not to take me lightly in a battle!" Cheren said, recalling his Oshawott. He had started with Megaman, to my surprise, and although Edward had come out on top, he was soaked through and bruised from being water-blasted against a chalkboard. "Bass will clean you up!" Cheren tossed a Pokéball, revealing a Purrloin.<p>

I switched to Tormod; Heather's high speed made her perfect for toying with the enemy and messing with their tactics, but her low attack strength and lack of a Dark-type move made her a bit of a liability for serious battles. Especially since Assist kept getting me Odor Sleuth, which was more or less the most useless thing in the world.

I was jerked out of my mental complaint about Odor Sleuth when Cheren ordered his Purrloin to attack. "Tormod, Ember!" Tormod snorted and sprayed hot bits of burning fuel at the Purrloin, scorching it. It ran right through the fire and left a few scratches on Tormod's hide, but a firm Tackle put an end to that. "Good match, Cheren, but you can't beat me by pulling an all-nighter!"

"I slept…" Cheren said defensively, which was technically true. I could see the ink stains on his cheek where he'd started using his book as a pillow, not to mention where his glasses cut into his face. "Besides, this is important knowledge! I need to know about Burn and…" he withered under my stare. "I guess book smarts are no good without experience."

"Exactly!" I replied, trying to be helpful. "Get some fresh air, do some training, fight the gym leaders! It's as easy as one, two, three."

"That reminds me!" He looked up. "Here are some Oran berries." I stared at the fruit. I had seen Megaman eat one earlier to restore his health. "I have the feeling you'll need them. I've heard some stuff about the gym leaders around here… some of it's nice, but it doesn't add up." He adjusted his glasses. "I'm gonna train before I try and get the Trio badge, I suggest you do the same." He hesitated. "Don't forget to stop by the Dreamyard; I hear somebody's giving away monkeys."

"Giving away monkeys?" I asked. He just shrugged.

* * *

><p>"This? This is the Striaton City gym?" Tormod asked. "But it's…"<p>

"A restaurant," I finished. "Weird." **Striaton City Gym and Bistro, **the sign read. A smaller sign read, _Gym Leader: Triple Trouble!_ Outside, a man in a sous-chef's uniform sat on the steps, smoking. He had hair and eyes the color of wintergreen mints. Something in the way he held himself suggested a sort of relaxed confidence, but there was something else, too. "Hey, dude, are you the gym leader?" I asked.

"Yeah, kind of. My brothers and I share the title. I'm on break right now, and another of my brothers is having a battle." He gave me a geeky smile. "I'm Cilan. You a challenger?"

"Later today," I said. "I guess I'll have dinner, too."

"Oh, cool. You beat one of us, and dinner's on the house." He narrowed his eyes at Tormod. "Is this Tepig your starter?" I nodded. "Okay, we'll be ready to take your challenge in an hour and a half or so."

"I hope you get my food ready faster than that," I quipped. He started to laugh, but suddenly the doors behind him burst open, and he dropped his cigarette dodging out of the way as a white-skinned Pokémon covered with leaves was thrown over the steps to the ground below. Smoke poured from his body, and when I got a good look at it I could see it was actually still burning. "What the fuck?"

"Petilil!" A boy a year or two younger than me leaned out of the Gym's doors, looking down at his struggling Pokémon in horror. "Are you alright? YEEEARGH!" Suddenly, he found flames showering down on himself and tumbled down the steps, rolling to a moaning stop next to his Pokémon. Behind him stood a red monkey Pokémon with a crest on its head like a single flame, and a man who was identical to Cilan except for his eyes (red), hair (also red, and spiked like a bonfire), and bearing (hyperactive, but also subtly off).

"You come in here with just one Pokémon looking for a fight, and you insult my tea! I don't wanna hear it!" the man yelled, pumping his fists. "You're lucky I left your Pokemon alive!"

"Chili…" Cilan sighed. "Isn't this a little excessive for a small-timer like this?"

"I'm not a small-timer!" the boy spluttered. He absolutely was, bless his singed, acne-ridden face. Suddenly, what looked like a water cannon sprayed from the open doors. It extinguished the boy and his Pokémon, at the price of drenching them and knocking them back into the street. "What the hell was that?"

"That was saving your Pokémon's life, you drip," said a third man, predictably the reserved, blue-eyed, blue-haired one of the group (although I wasn't expecting the long, teardrop-like bangs). He had a blue monkey with a geyser-like crest following him. It had its eyes closed in a cheeky grin. "Better get it to the Pokémon center before you piss Chili off again. I'm not stopping him again."

"You're no fun at all, Cress," Chili complained.

"Shut up, both of you!" Cilan suddenly snapped, and they both did. He turned to us and bowed. "I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse us. Your battle and meal will be ready at sundown."

"Don't keep me waiting," Cress added.

"Cause we'll be waiting on you!" Chili joked. "Seriously, get ready for a beatdown."

"I suggest you go train in the dreamyard." Cilan finished, shutting the doors to the gym behind them.

"Shit, we'd better go train," I groaned. "Come on, Tormod."

"Could you help me up?" the pimply would-be gym challenger asked.

"I don't touch people," I explained.

"Boo, you whore…"

"Go heal your Pokémon, you bum!"

* * *

><p>"What the fuck is this?" Heather, Tormod and I had Scratched, Embered, Tackled, and Sand-Attacked our way through the trainers at the front of the dreamyard, only to have the path to the wild-Pokémon-containing tall grass obscured by a tree. A stunted, twisted little tree covering the hole in the wall I needed to get to. For once, it wasn't I who had cursed, but Heather. Bless her heart, she was starting to pick up my words.<p>

"It appears to be a tree," a little brunette girl said.

"I'm sorry, do you want a piece of me too? Because you can have a piece of me after I burn this tree down. Tormod, burn this tree down!" Tormod began snorting Embers at it, but none caught.

"Rain just came through yesterday morning," the little girl insisted. "It won't work." She was right, annoyingly. "Hey, come on, I've got something to show you!"

"What?" I asked heavily, but I followed her around a corner, Tormod running at my heels.

"This is just what you need." The little girl turned around and spread her arms wide. "It's a monkey!" In front of her stood a green monkey with a crest like a broccoli floret on its head. It shrugged and smiled a gaping grin at me.

"A monkey?" I asked incredulously. "I'm not sure…"

"He's fresh from the barrel," the little girl bragged, displaying a barrel of quarreling blue and red monkeys behind her. It was marked **FUN** in spray paint, presumably standing for Fire, Uranium, and No Survivors.

"I will watch you while you sleep," the monkey promised me with its toothless grin. Its eyes began to drift in different directions.

"Do you have anything else I could take instead? Please?"

The girl shook her head. "That's my only Pansage. Besides, he's great against Cress's monkey, and Cress will be the one fighting you because you have a Tepig! The Trainer's School principal said sooooo!"

I shook my head. I didn't know what kind of monkey racket Striaton City was running, but I wanted no part of it. "Sorry, but I don't compromise my values for a temporary tactical advantage."

"What kinda values?" the kid asked, squinting.

"My newest value: No Totally Creepy Monkeys." I nodded, satisfied. Tormod nodded along with me.

**Nuzlocke Rule 2c: No totally creepy monkeys.**

"I don't need your permission," the Pansage said, its eyes glinting.

"Okay, fine, whatever. It's not my fault if you get stomped at the Gym." The girl turned away, harrumphing.

* * *

><p>"Again!" I called. Edward bit down on the fallen branch, leaving deep marks. "Not good enough! Again!"<p>

"My mouth hurts," Edward complained. "I'm tired… can't we break until we're ready to fight the gym?"

"Sorry, Edward." I smiled at him. "But this is totally necessary. You didn't see Chili earlier. If we go in there and we don't at least challenge them, those guys will totally kill us. They're Gym Leaders, you know, they can kill us; if they murder a challenger, their insurance will just go up."

"That's awful," Edward said, "But I'm still tired."

"EDWARD!" I shouted. "That insurance company is… it's a giant!"

"A giant?" He snapped to attention.

"And those monkeys and gym leaders are the giant's servants. Now, what are we gonna do?"

"Beat the giant's servants!" Edward yipped.

"And why are you gonna do it?"

"BECAUSE I'M THE GIANTSLAYER!" Edward turned back to the branch and bit clean through it.

"Yeah!" I whooped.

"Not bad, not bad," Heather said from where she had perched on a nearby log. Her purple fur shone fuchsia in the light of the setting sun.

"Thanks," I said, stretching. "I'm getting better as a leader, if I do say so myself." Heather had finished her training; besides, I was hoping to keep her on the sidelines, since Fury Swipes hadn't done all that much for her attack strength.

"I was talking about your butt," Heather said, grinning like those paintings of that mythical Pokémon called the Cheshire Cat. "Your leadership is still painfully basic… but you're just so cute I can't help but come along."

"Gee, thanks, I feel so special." I didn't feel like bringing up how she had been caught on the first Pokéball.

She shifted gears to serious mode. "Do you really think they'll be nicer if we give them a real fight?"

"Sure," I said with a shrug, but my doubts were growing. "They were nice… well, Cilan was. He'll treat us with respect if we return the favor."

* * *

><p>"Good evening, welcome to Striaton City Gym and Bistro!" a well-dressed woman behind the desk said. She sounded like she had the perky stick jammed so far up her ass it was fraternizing with her tonsils. "Are you here to dine or challenge?"<p>

"Both!" I said, flashing a thumbs-up.

"Oh, sweet, this girl's taking the full package deal!" A greasy-looking man in a white suit with silver hair and sunglasses sauntered up to me. He was like an oily, oppressive presence, and he reached to put his arm around me.

I slapped this one away. "PLEASE don't touch me."

"Oh, alright little lady." The silver-haired man oozed back to a safe distance before continuing. "I'm Jimmy the Gym Rep. Here, let me give you this." He passed me a bottle of water. "It's – whoa, there, you'd better save that!" he warned, seeing me start to drink.

"Yeah? Why?"

"That water is smarter than a fifth grader. It's for your Pokémon!"

"Smart water? Like how?" I shook it. It looked and felt like regular water to me. I uncapped and sniffed it. It did smell off…

He watched me investigating and shrugged. "It's got medicinal properties on par with a Super Potion," he said.

"Really? Whoa!" I crammed it into my bag. "I'll save it."

"Anyway, let me walk you through this Gym's package deal that you're taking. You see that table?" He gestured to a white-tableclothed table. In the small room beyond the front counter, it was the only empty seat. The rest of the gym/bistro was filled with middle-aged and older couples, mostly the already married types. A few had even brought kids. "You go, sit there, and a waiter takes your order for soup, and fights you while they get the soup ready. And then in the next room, you'll sit at the table, and a waitress will fight you while you wait for salad. Finally, you'll fight the gym leader chosen for you, and then you'll get your main course. And it'll all be on the house… if you win. If at any point you lose, you need to pay for the whole meal… and we won't serve the rest of it to you."

I swallowed. No way I was paying for tonight's meal… I had blown most of my cash on Potions and stuff. "Sounds good."

"Excuse me, miss," the woman behind the counter said. "For convenience's sake, can I have your food order now?"

"STEAK," I said. "Best steak you got."

"We have a braised Taurus –"

"Perfect! I'll take that rare. Make it happen." I sat down at the first table, and a waiter approached me with a silver platter.

"Hey, my name is Maxwell. What kind of soup would you like? We have Cream of Amoonguss, or the Challenge Special!"

"I'll take the Challenge Special!" I said with a grin.

"Excellent," the waiter said, laying down the platter in front of me. "I'll be right back with your order." As he left, a Lillipup crawled out from under the platter. I smiled. It snarled at me.

"Heather, clear this chaff out of the way!" I called, releasing her onto my lap. "Assist!"

"Gladly," she said, clamping down on the puppy's front leg and dragging it under the table with a borrowed Bite.

* * *

><p>The soup was great, although it seemed to only make me hungrier. It was basically just broth with herbs and pepper flakes, but it tasted good and it was really invigorating.<p>

The salad room was essentially the same, but with black tablecloths and younger couples, and Heather made short work of the Patrat and Purrloin all the same. I'm not such a big fan of salad, so I just ate the tomatoes and boiled egg off it and gave the rest to Tormod, who would eat anything (including baseballs, I had found out earlier that day). The wait staff had tighter control over their Pokémon than, for example, Bianca, so there were no disturbed dinners from flying prone Pokémon.

When I got to the final room, there were three tables – one with red tablecloth, one with blue, one with green, and all at the sides of the room. The blue table had a platter with a steaming hot steak on top, complete with mashed potatoes and greens. Actually, maybe everything was steaming hot. The room was very humid, and it smelled strongly of the herbs and spices from that challenger's soup. The middle of the room was marked out by a large, circular arena set an inch or two into the floor. Cress stood by my food, Chili leaned against the opposite wall, and Cilan sat in front of the kitchen door, stroking a Lillipup with a scar over one missing eye and sulking. "I can't believe you refused the monkey," Cilan moaned.

"Hey, now, nobody can blame her for refusing that ugly grass-type," Chili said. "Listen, kid, you're alright. I'd have liked to fight you, but I get my share, and I can totally understand your desire for fiery awesomeness." He pumped a fist lazily. "Rock on."

"Please, eat," Cress said. He gestured to the food. "I want you to tell me how it tastes before we fight. I cooked it myself."

"Rock on indeed!" I sat down at the table and started to eat. I have to say, it was some of the best food I've ever had. A few of my mom's recipes were better, but not many.

"Is it good?" he asked, leering down at me as I took my last few bites of steak. I have to say that he was almost as big of a creeper at that moment as the monkey.

"My complements to the chef."

"Excellent. Then the battle can begin." Cress moved to the opposite side of the room. I tried to get up but found myself stuck – belted in, actually. "What the hell?" I heard Chili giggle behind me. "What's the big idea?"

"We don't like to let challengers get too rowdy," Chili giggled. "It can be hard to watch these gym battles, and we don't want interference."

"Go, Rochambeau!" Cress said, and the dog moved out from under Cilan's arm to the center of the arena. "Our trusty family dog should prove more of a challenge than that mutt in the front room."

I took a deep breath, and drew my Pokéball from a sitting position. "Alright, Tormod, go!" Tormod stared at Rochambeau. "I know you can do this, Tormod. Use Ember!"

"Rochambeau, use Work Up!" I watched the Lillipup stand still as a statue as sparks and hot ashes washed over it. I could see the little thing's muscles bunch. "It's really nothing against you," Cress reassured me, "but we're new Gym Leaders and we can't afford not to be taken seriously. Now, Bite!"

"Tackle!" The two crashed together, knocking the dog back, but Tormod didn't emerge unscathed. I could see the bite marks leaking steam in his hide. "You alright, Tormod?"

"You know it!" he grunted.

"Great. Tackle him again, finish him off!" Tormod made the jump, but Ro caught him in midair with another Bite, and this time Tormod crashed to the ground face-first. I winced sympathetically.

"Nice work forcing that flinch, Ro." Cress called. "We're back in control of the match. Now, show that hambone a real Tackle."

"Yes, master!" Rochambeau answered, charging forward.

"Tormod, Ember!"

"You got it!" Another spray of scattered flames lit into the dog, but this time they caught him full in the face. I suppose one must have caught him in the empty socket or something, because he flipped out, made a lot of noise, pawed at his face for a bit, then flopped over, exhausted.

"I've failed you, master," he whined.

"You did fine, Ro," Chili said helpfully as Cilan recalled him to a Pokéball.

"Yeah, whatever," Cress sighed, blowing one of the locks of his hair away from his eyes.

"Tormod, return!" I knew that the monkey was next, and as much as I didn't need the tactical help of that scary monkey, I didn't want to put myself at a total disadvantage either. "I hope you guys understand now that I'm not some two-bit challenger. Maybe now you'll respect me enough to unlock this chair? Eh?"

"Oh, you think we don't respect people who don't give us a good fight?" Cilan laughed almost sadly. "Well, I guess that's true. But then you had to go and not take the monkey. We HATE people who don't take the monkey."

"Should've taken the monkey, girly," Chili admonished, walking over to a large lever. "Should I pull it, bro?"

"Pull away," Cress said with a smile. Chili pulled the lever, and the center part of the arena opened up. Inside was a huge, boiling cauldron of that special soup for challengers – which, I reflected, was probably why this part of the restaurant smelled so strongly. "Alright, one more Pokémon, madam. Except now there's a little feature to the arena. If your Pokémon loses, we throw him in the soup."

"Well, that's completely rational ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

Chili cackled, answering my question. "Well, the Challenger's Special is like a soup of the day, because it's always changing. The secret ingredient is the Pokémon of trainers who especially annoy us!"

"Of course, if you still win," Cress noted, "You'll get money, your free meal, a TM, the badge, and a voucher for a free meal over in Nacrene, but I just can't see that happening."

Edward practically leapt out of my Pokéball. "Let me at 'em, Layla!"

I looked at Edward. "Are you sure? There's still time to back out."

"No there isn't!" Chili said.

"Edward the GIANTSLAYER is on the case!" Edward cried.

"Very well." Cress smirked and sent out his Panpour. "Lizard, Work Up."

"Edward, Leer!" He did, but the Panpour was flexing to prepare. It wouldn't allow itself to be the victim of mind games. "Good… now Edward, Bite!"

"Work Up." Edward dashed around the cauldron and bit the Panpour. It was still powering up, the veins in its forehead bulging. It winced as Edward's teeth sank in, but it stayed on its feet. "Your dog is as slow and weak as it is deranged," Cress observed. "Lizard, Water Gun."

"Edward, Tackle!" Lizard the Panpour opened its mouth in time for Edward to slam a shoulder into it. The monkey took the blow like a champ and let loose a torrent of water that knocked Edward to the floor and sent him sliding diagonally across the now donut-shaped arena. "Next time, knock him into the soup," Cress said icily.

I saw Edward pull at the Oran Berry I had attached to a band around his shoulder. He slid it into his mouth, swallowed it, and stood up. I looked around. Chili had noticed, but he seemed content to stay quiet. Cilan and Cress were too busy gloating and contemplating serving my Pokémon to their next hundred customers. "I think one more hit should about do it," Cilan suggested.

"Yes, and Lizard is faster than that mutt," Cress agreed. "Lizard! Water Gun!"

"Edward, Tackle!" I shouted. Edward leapt over the initial blast of water and ran alongside it with a battle cry, but Lizard corrected his aim before he ran dry. Edward was washed backwards into the hole in the floor. "Edward!" I screamed. And what I saw felt like a thousand pounds off my chest. Edward was hanging on by his jaw.

Cress didn't seem to have noticed. "Well?" he looked at me impatiently. "The battle's not over yet. Send your swine back out."

I laughed. "You're pretty confident for a guy who can't see past his bangs." He raised an eyebrow. "I said 'Tackle,' Edward the Giantslayer."

"Yes ma'am!" Edward hooked his paws onto the ledge and pulled himself back up. In a single leap, he cleared the ten feet between himself and the Panpour and slammed it to the ground paws-first. Scissors hit its head on the edge of the arena and was still. Cress had just stood there like a deer in headlights. "Victory belongs to THE GIANTSLAYER!"

"That's right," I said, walking up to Cilan. "Now give my badge, you psychos." I tossed the bone of my steak into the hole in the arena. "Here's your secret ingredient…" and I slapped him over the head. "And there's your tip."

"Why couldn't you just have taken the monkey," Cilan lamented, passing me a TM disc, a coupon, a pouch full of money, a lemon-scented moist towelette, and a peppermint. "Here's your badge." He shined it in the light of the room before presenting it to me. It looked like a propeller, or maybe an ear of corn, and it had red, blue, and green diamond-shaped gems in a row, rimmed with gold. "Now get out of my restaurant!"

"Come on, Edward, we don't need these phonies." I recalled Edward – he was really banged up from those powered-up Water Gun blasts – and left, pinning the badge to the front of my hat.

* * *

><p>"That's just great," Cress mumbled, watching Layla go. "Now everybody's going to think they can just waltz in here and win without taking a monkey."<p>

"It's your fault," Cilan grumbled. "Just standing there slack-jawed. 'Use Water Gun, Scissors!' You had like five seconds. Would that have been so hard?"

"That bitch cut right through the restraints," Chili moaned. "Must've been that cat she was bringing out earlier."

"Nobody cares about the stupid restraints, Chili!" Cress snapped. "Who cares if the trainers fall into the soup, too?"

"Well, who cares about the stupid monkeys?" Chili yelled back. "Most trainers just box them anyway, they're terrible spies."

"True enough," Cilan sighed. "Still, even if we can't send him further data, we should still tell Sage Ghetsis about the battle." He smiled. "We were warned to look out for her, after all."

* * *

><p><strong>Woo double-length chapter chronicling through the end of my first gym battle! It's longer, yes, but also loaded with action and references. For example, Panpour's nickname is a reference to Scissors Lizard, a joke magic card that participates in rockpaper/scissors with Rock Lobster and Paper Tiger.**

**Fun Fact of the chapter: Those monkeys are evil. I will have no part of them. I'll be catching a less evil Pokemon in the dreamyard next chapter.**

**I'm so glad I put those Oran berries on my guys before challenging Cress. Edward got knocked down to 4 hp, even considering the healing from those things. I might have gotten swept if I hadn't won right there.**

**Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke**

**Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak**

**Layla (c) me**

**Next Chapter: Two new friends, the first death on the team, and the arrival of a most unusual Audino...**


	4. Blood and Plasma

**I've been told you can't judge the quality of a Nuzlocke until the first death. Well... here you go.**

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 4: Blood and Plasma**

"Excuse me, are you Layla?" The woman asking me had shiny, calf-length black hair accented with a flower-like hair decoration on her forehead. She wore glasses and a lab coat, and smiled nervously. I nodded, my breathing still heavy. I hadn't been out of that Gym 30 seconds when I was accosted by this scientist. "I'm Fennel!" she cried. "Juniper's told me all about you! Oh, you have to come with me!" She reached out to take me by the hand, which I snapped away from her.

"Please don't touch me," I said. "I'll follow you." She shrugged and beckoned me toward a nearby apartment building. I followed her, trying not to get tangled in her hair. "Is this going to take long, because I really should stop back in at the Pokémon center…"

"This'll just be a minute," she said, leading me up the stairs. I shrugged and followed. Fennel was warmly greeted by whomever we passed on the way up. Finally, we were at the top floor. Fennel opened the door, and I felt like I had stepped into a bad movie. The room was poorly lit and ringed with computer banks. A large cylindrical machine loomed in one corner. A young girl with pigtails worked on a bed lined with strange implements, and a silver helmet dotted with ports and wires rested on the pillow. "What do you think?" she asked proudly.

"It's great," I deadpanned, "I've always wanted to be killed and brought back to life." There really was something scary about the equipment, but I didn't want to admit as much.

"Oh, you," she chuckled. "This device is a portal for entering the Dream World." I stared blankly at her. "The Dream World, that surreal zone that links minds from all regions of the world." She waited for recognition, but she didn't get any. "The source of that weird void above the plains at the center of Unova called the Entralink?" She shrugged. "I guess not many people know about it unless they read science journals."

"Wait, there's a weird void over Unova?" I said. "That's kind of alarming."

Fennel waved me off. "It's nothing to worry about, nothing at all. But we're studying the Dream World because… well, it's so damn cool. Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't introduced you to my assistant!"

"I'm Amanita!" the girl offered my hand, but I didn't shake it. "Uh…" she looked to Fennel, who was rummaging around on a pile of printouts and miscellaneous junk. I wasn't about to make a policy exception for a little girl who worked in a freaky mad science lab. "You're Layla, right? I designed Unova's version of the Pokémon storage center found on PCs! Do you like it?"

"Oh, really?" I have to say, I was impressed. On closer inspection, she wasn't as young as I had thought, just small for her age, but there was no way she was older than me. "I haven't used it much, but I'm sure it's great. Was it hard to make?"

"No, I just ripped off all the best storage systems," Amanita admitted. "And I added this feature called the Battle Box that…" I stopped listening, I admit it. I never had a very good head for technology – oh, I could figure it out if even an ounce of effort had gone into making it user-friendly, but I'll be damned if I understood how any of it worked. Instead I mulled over Cilan and his brothers – that didn't figure in to what I had heard about how Gym Leaders conducted themselves at all, although Bianca's dad had mentioned that accident… were all Gym Leaders such jackasses, or were the Striaton Trio an aberration? Then I heard Fennel's voice, and snapped back to attention. I've never been caught filtering somebody out – I have my tricks – but I wasn't eager to ruin the record.

"…without the aid of a Move Deleter," she concluded, waving a disk at me. "So, do you think you could hop on down to the Dreamyard with this and find me a Munna or some Dream Smoke produced by one? I'll let you keep it, and if you find what I'm looking for, I've got another neat little toy that's really handy for trainers."

I nodded confidently. Part of my rules for never getting caught failing to pay attention – don't ask them to repeat themselves. If it was at all necessary, I could call her up and ask later, which would seem much more reasonable. "Munna, or Dream Smoke," I repeated – another easy trick, repeat the last thing they said – as I grabbed the disk. It was an HM – for Cut – and I was able to fill in some of the blanks pretty quickly. That tree that had been blocking part of the Dreamyard – beyond it lay any Munna I might find. "I'll be back before you can say 'Braviary.'"

* * *

><p>"What's up?" Bianca asked. Night was descending on the Dreamyard. I had just taught Heather the Cut technique – she was the only member of my team whose claws were up to the task – and found the stunted tree in question.<p>

"You're becoming a real Noctowl, Bianca," I joked. "I'm just trying to get deeper into the Dreamyard. It seems I'm on a fetch quest tonight for some scientist friend of the Professor's."

"Me-owwww. Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend here, Layla?" Heather asked flirtatiously.

"Maybe later," I said with an embarrassed grin, as Bianca looked at us cluelessly. "For now, why don't you Cut that tree down?" It didn't stand a chance against my cat's sharpened claws. "Not bad… do you hear something?"

Heather mewed her assent, but Bianca just cocked her head. "I don't hear anything… wait…" the next sound she couldn't miss. It was a tormented sound, like a child's squeaky toy being violently stabbed. "What the heck is that?" Bianca asked, suddenly shuddering.

"A cry for help," I muttered. "Come on!" Heather was the first one through the now-exposed hole in the wall, followed by me, but Bianca wasn't far behind. The other side of the wall was much the same, except for the presence of taller grass (the grass is always taller on the other side, isn't it?) and a ramp leading to an elevated walkway. But what caught our attention were a man and a woman in armor (two of the goons from yesterday, I guessed) with a Munna, which looked like a wide, plush vase with limbs, a face ending in a short, pointed snout, and a blowhole. It was one of the more exotic Pokémon I had seen, but what was pressing about it was the fact that it was bleeding a little bit from its nose. "What the hell are you two doing?" I yelled.

"Who the hell are they?" The man asked, picking up the Munna.

"Who the hell are you?" the woman shouted, as her male friend shook the Munna like a rag doll.

"We're… we're a pair of concerned trainers!" Bianca managed. More or less accurate.

"They're just kids," the woman explained to her cohort. "Keep on working it, the Dream Smoke is bound to come out sooner or later."

"I'm working on it," the guy whined. "Nothing's happening."

"Help me," the Munna squeaked pathetically.

"Hey, put that thing down!" I shouted. "That's fucking cruel!"

"Fuck off, kids, we're trying to get something here!"

"Don't be so pushy," Bianca whispered to me. "They look tough."

"No," I explained, "they look like they want to look tough. Nobody needs to dress up in chain mail unless their Pokémon is inadequate for protecting them." I shouted back to them, "Hey, you guys are Team Plasma, right?"

"That's right!" The man explained proudly. "And we need Dream Smoke for the plans of our superiors, the Sages!"

"Hey, tell the whole city, why don't you," the woman grumbled. "Pearls of Palkia, you're thick."

"Don't make fun of me!" the guy exclaimed, spiking the Munna into the ground. It didn't get up.

"This bullshit's getting us nowhere… Hey! Freak shows!" I called. "Pokémon battle or GTFO! Whoever loses gets out of here without a fuss!"

"Fine," the guy said, leaving the Munna to the woman. "Patrat! Shut this hussy up!"

"Hussy?" I asked, bemused. It wasn't until the little chipmunk-like thing was almost on top of me that I realized he had basically ordered it to attack me. "Heather! Cut!"

"With pleasure!" Using only one claw, she left a gash in the side of the Patrat, distracting it. In the dusk, she had been more or less invisible to Team Plasma, and maybe to their Pokémon, too.

"Rugh!" The Patrat turned on her, growling, but I could see that it couldn't take another blow and stay on its feet.

"Damn," the Plasma grunt spat. "Patrat, Bide!" Obediently, his rodent put its arms up in a Biding stance. Just another indicator as to how much of an idiot he was; a Patrat wasn't sturdy enough to Bide against a skilled opponent unless it was fresh into the battle.

"Heather, Assist!" Heather sat back on her haunches and spat out a wave of Embers. The Patrat stumbled back out of his stance, protecting his eyes, but he soon collapsed. "Got any more Pokémon that need trouncing?" I asked conversationally.

"You didn't last thirty seconds!" the female Plasma member said incredulously. "You're pathetic!"

"_You're_ pathetic," the guy shot back lamely. "Why don't you go do better?"

"Fine, I will." She sarcastically tagged in with him. "Let's see if you can handle a mirror match. Go, Purrloin!" The two cats circled each other.

"You've got a cute butt," Heather offered with a grin.

"Glory to Team Plasma!" the other cat mewed dogmatically.

"Not much for conversation, though."

"Purrloin, Scratch!"

"Heather, Sand-Attack!" Heather kicked sand into the approaching Pokémon's eyes, and the claw sailed right by her. "Good! Now, Fury Swipes!" Left open by its half-blindness, the Plasma Purrloin ate four quick scratches itself.

"Purrloin, Growl," the Team Plasma grunt yelled, her voice going up a pitch. And it did, but it was too late. Heather only hesitated for a second before letting loose a Cut that knocked her counterpart to the ground. Spotting blood, the woman withdrew her Pokémon with a scowl. "We're out of time. Did you get any Dream Smoke?"

"Not yet," the guy grunted. He was jumping up and down on the Munna now, stomping it into the ground. It let out a pained squeal with each impact.

"Have you flipped your lids?" Bianca cried in horror.

"I thought it might work like a Whoopee cushion," the man explained. "Hey, let's just take the thing with us!"

"That wasn't the deal!" I protested.

"A-buh-buh!" the woman said. "You're just kids anyway, you should be thankful we're even honoring the letter of our promise!"

"What're we gonna do?" Bianca wailed. "We can't let them just abuse that poor little Munna!" I gritted my teeth. Bianca was right – but I didn't want to order my Pokémon to attack a human if at all possible, and besides, after a Gym battle, I didn't think my guys had enough stamina left to take on two adult humans in armor. I didn't think anything we had but Ember or a blow to the face would even faze them, if that was real mail. Bianca hadn't offered her help in the fights, so either her Pokémon were similarly tired, or she was too emotional to be of any help.

Suddenly, the particularly freaky guy from earlier – Dennis, was it? – appeared out of nowhere right next to them. "What are you two doing? We should be striving to protect Pokémon from humans, not be the ones they need protecting from!" The two grunts were freaking out, but Bianca and I only started to panic as well when a second Dennis appeared next to the first one. "I need you two back at the base RIGHT THIS INSTANT before you embarrass us further!" Was this an illusion? I thought I'd recognize an illusion if I saw one, but this one seemed so real – I could see Dennis's individual strands of hair blowing in the warm breeze, and smell his old man stink as he briefly became upwind from us.

"Man, I've never seen the boss this angry!" the male grunt said, looking as if he was about to soil his armor.

Suddenly, the two Dennises (Dennisi?) disappeared, and a gigantic image of his head and shoulders (with that ridiculous castle-wall mantle, which managed to look imposing at this size) appeared over our heads. "I NEED SCISSORS! SIXTY-ONE!" He roared. Well, that was obviously an illusion of some sort, but at the time it was the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen.

The female Plasma member let out an ear-piercing scream. "I've never seen him anything like this! We'll get your scissors, Lord Ghetsis, we swear!" They sprinted off faster than anybody weighed down by armor should be able to run. To be honest, I would've run to grab him a pair of scissors myself if it would get that giant screaming head out of the sky. And then, just like that, he was gone.

"W-was that a dream?" I looked over to see Bianca fallen on her ass, staring slack-jawed up above the treeline. I could've slapped myself. A dream; of course! There was a Munna nearby. There were likely more, or even… "Look!" Bianca pointed past the Munna. A Pokémon like a larger, floating Munna with an entirely purple body was approaching the wounded Pokémon. It was a Musharna, I realized – Munna's quite-rare evolved form, and it had been sculpting images from Team Plasma's dreams, or maybe even from mine. Pink clouds of what could only be Dream Smoke leaked from its blowhole and flooded the entire area at ankle level. "It must've heard the Munna's cries and come to help…"

Bianca trailed off. She got up and started to walk toward the Munna and Musharna. "Careful," I warned. "It might still be very defensive after seeing a younger member of its species get abused."

Bianca kneeled down by the Musharna, which was eyeing her warily. She stuttered out a halting "Hi…" before gathering confidence to continue. "It was great that you drove those two terrible people away, but do you think you could let me bring this Munna to a Pokémon center? I'm worried that natural care might not be enough. Team Plasma really hurt this creature, and I want to make sure it survives above all else." To my pleased surprise, the Musharna smiled and backed off a bit. "Thank you! I won't let you down!" Bianca gently scooped up the bruised Munna, wincing herself whenever it winced. "I'm headed back to town," she said, carrying the Munna with the care often reserved for Pokémon eggs.

"I heard," I replied. "I'll be back in a couple of hours." She nodded and headed back. I looked around and noticed the Musharna was gone, but an especially dense cloud of Dream Smoke remained – more like a clod than a cloud, actually. I scooped it up in an Item Ball with a smile. "May as well keep looking around; seems like all sorts of loot'll be around."

I did find some treasure among the trash – a Pokéball, a Potion, a Paralyze Heal… Edward brought me an Antidote and a Great Ball. I had to explain the mechanics of the Paralyz Heal to him, though ("No, we can't drink it right now"). The new member of the team, though, outweighed any of that.

Not ten minutes after Bianca's departure, Tormod found a Purrloin about to disembowel a Patrat for fun. The Purrloin's claws and the Patrat's eyes glinted in the dark, and we couldn't help ourselves. The Purrloin ran off with its ass on fire, and the Patrat used Tormod's nose to help itself to its feet. "Oh, thank you," he said. "You saved my butt!"

"Aw, it was nothing," Tormod said, grinning in embarrassment.

"I…" the Patrat looked away. "I have a confession. I started that fight. I saw you guys fighting those weirdos and you just looked so cool, and it really got my blood boiling! I wanted to kick some butt, too!"

"Well, it doesn't just happen," Tormod said. "You have to train, like Layla trains us. It's a dangerous world out there, and you could get your… uh… guts ripped out."

"I've got an idea," I said, grabbing a Pokéball. "Why don't you come with us? I'm trying to get to the Pokémon League, so hanging with me is a ticket to getting stronger for sure."

The Patrat's face lit up in a grin. "You'd do that? Sounds great!"

"Awesome! Hold still, I need to make it official." He just looked perplexed before the Pokéball hit him.

Met Rolf at the Dreamyard!  
>Male Patrat lv. 11<br>Impish nature, Keen Eye.  
>Likes to fight.<p>

"Score!" I let the newly-christened Rolf back out of the Pokéball. "Come on, it's late. Let's go get fixed up at the Pokémon center."

"Sure!" he chirped. "Hey, what did you do to scare those guys away?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Didn't you see the dream illusions that Musharna was casting?"

"Oh, that was what those were!" He laughed. "I see through illusions like Double Team. Those just looked like heat ripples; it gets hot around here in the summer with all this old human building material."

"You see through illusions, do you?" I said, laughing a bit awkwardly. "You'd be a great detective. It's a really cool power, though."

* * *

><p>Fennel accosted me the next morning as I set out from the Pokémon Center. I gave her the Dream Smoke, which she got all excited and giggly over, and then she led me up to her room and desperately tried to convince me to strap into her (possibly literal) nightmare machine. Naturally, I would have fucking none of it. Shrugging, she thanked me for my time and gave me a C-Gear, which was a weird portable social networking device for Pokémon trainers – I suppose it could be useful, since I wasn't going to be settling down in any city for more than a few days in the near future. Her hack assistant gave me a notepad for keeping track of the codes that other people's C-Gears would use; again, whatever.<p>

Bianca hadn't earned her Trio Badge yet, so she decided to stay behind for another day. She had adopted the rescued Munna; to my (exaggerated for her benefit) horror, she had also taken a monkey – a Panpour, no less. When she asked for advice about fighting Chili, I didn't have the heart to tell her what they were really like. Instead, she just learned to be prepared and respectful, and use her monkey when the time came. Then I told her to catch up to me in the next town, and left a city without her for the first time since I was a young child. Cheren still hadn't shown his face, and we could only conclude he was sleeping in other places than Pokémon centers – maybe he had money for inns (his dad was a professor of engineering), or maybe he was simply staying away from where we slept because either he was embarrassed or he thought we would be.

"Maybe he thinks I don't want to sleep in the same room as guys because of my No-Touch rule," I explained to Heather and Rolf. We had just cleaned out a kindergarten full of budding trainers; I would've felt worse about it if they didn't all have those weird monkeys (or if they had paid out more than a few coins each on defeat). Rolf was coming along nicely in terms of ability; he was developing strong jaws and his eyes gave him a great Leer. "I should straighten that out with him. I don't want him to think it's because I was sexually abused or anything."

"Why _do_ you have the rule?" Rolf started to ask, but Heather cut him off.

"Speaking of sleeping in the same room as guys," she said, "how about you catch some more girl Pokémon? This team's getting to be a total sausage fest… I wouldn't mind a nice, strong female Herdier to keep me company…"

"Bianca!" I turned around at the strident call; Cheren was following me. The Trio Badge gleamed on his jacket. "I see you and I both have a badge. How about a Pokémon battle?"

"Are you sure?" I asked. "It's only been like twenty-four hours."

"I'm not going to take no for an answer," Cheren said, clenching his fist. He extended the fist and pointed his finger at me. "I'm going to keep challenging you until I win! Go, Megaman!"

"Leading with your starter again?" I only had to consider for a second. "Go, Heather!" With her superior speed and defense against special attacks, Heather was my best bet here. Heather prowled towards the Oshawott. "Heather, Assist!"

"Megaman, Water Sport!" Heather sat back on her haunches and Leered at the Oshawott, but at least it hadn't attacked back – instead, it had sprayed a fine mist of water high into the air. It took me a second to realize what the point was – this mist would weaken fire attacks, and Cheren knew I'd be using them if I brought out Tormod. I guess the glasses weren't just for show. "Now Focus Energy, Mega!"

"Heather, Fury Swipes!" Heather let loose the full five slashes on the otter, but he stood his ground. After she backed off the survey the damage, I saw he had placed his sharp shell (a Scalchop, I'd heard them called) on the ground point-down, and resting both paws on it, he took a deep, slow breath. Not good. A Pokémon that centered would spot all the openings in our defenses. "Heather, finish it off with Cut!"

"Don't let that happen, Megaman. Water Gun!" Heather slashed Megaman across the chest, leaving a thin, bleeding line.

"Gah… that was a nice shot," Megaman grunted, clutching his belly.

"Yeah, so why don't you just give-" Heather was still talking when her foe spat out a powerful Water Gun. I saw the tongue of water reach out and slap the Purrloin in the face hard enough to send her sprawling. She got up shakily and sneezing out water that had gotten up her nose; it looked like her eyes were squeezed shut in pain, and I noticed blood tainting the water leaking back out of your face.

"Heather, are you okay?" I asked nervously. I wasn't at all convinced anybody else on the team could take more than one hit like that. My fears worsened when I saw Megaman take the opportunity to pull a berry from behind his Scalchop and pop it into his mouth. That would restore his stamina for sure.

"I've got it," Heather answered, still unable to open one of her eyes. "I can take one more."

"Alright, but you shouldn't have to. Finish him off with another full set of Fury Swipes!" Panting but moving fast, Heather closed.

"Megaman!" Cheren commanded. "Show Layla and her Pokémon the humiliation of defeat! Another Water Gun!" Heather only got two or three scratches in before the second Water gun hit; it didn't seem quite as high-pressure, but it slammed right into Heather's open mouth and down her throat. She collapsed in a soaked heap in the middle of the road, unmoving except for a few pathetic attempts to cough up water.

"Shit, Heather!" I cried, running up to her. The small, violet Pokémon looked so fragile like this, even smaller for her wetness. "Are you alright?" She wasn't breathing – at least, not successfully – so I began pushing on her chest, hoping it would help her cough up the water, fearing whether my palms had enough force to break her little ribs. She spat up some more water and began breathing again, but it was weak, pained, and shallow. Her eyes were unfocused, and watery blood was leaking from her nose and open mouth.

"This battle's not over, Layla!" Cheren said impatiently. I glared up at him. He was beside himself with intensity. I don't think I could've convinced him my Pokémon's life was in danger even if I used those exact words.

"…Fine!" I shouted. "Edward, go!" I deployed him. "Tackle that fucking otter!" This time, Edward dispensed with his usual routine. They say that the Lillipup family has a high degree of empathy for its master, especially for a physically oriented Pokémon, and he could clearly tell that something was wrong. His ears and tail were low and stiff as he slammed into Megaman, but the technique was no less effective – the otter finally dropped to all fours, exhausted.

Making a frustrated grunt, Cheren sent out his own Purrloin, Bass. "Use the Fury Swipes, Bass!"

"Edward, Work Up and then keep tackling until it drops!" Edward could handle himself, I thought. Edward had jaws that clamped down and didn't loosen, not claws that couldn't cut more than a few millimeters deep. "Wake up, Heather, you've gotta wake up!" I shook the cat gently.

"Layla," she said hoarsely. "It really hurts, Layla." She made more noise inhaling than speaking.

"Good, you're awake," I said hopefully. I was dimly aware of Bass getting flattened to the ground, yowling about stupid dogs and stupid dog owners.

"Layla, why do you lie to your friends?" Heather suddenly asked, her words cutting deeper than her claws ever had. "You're always frowning, and I'm always smiling." She descended into a coughing fit, then gave me a pained smile. "You should be more true to yourself, like me…" Cheren was talking, but I didn't care. That idiot had really done it this time. Didn't he know that Focus Energy was a dangerous fucking technique?

"Just relax, Heather." Cheren's voice was getting louder, and now Edward was barking, and there were other sounds – footsteps – but I tuned it all out. We're gonna get you to that nice lady at the Day Care and she'll patch you up and tomorrow-"

"Look out!" Cheren dragged me to the side by my jacket despite my loud and sudden protests. I grabbed for Heather but missed. We both fell to the side in the muddy road as two more men in Team Plasma armor thundered past us, screaming bloody murder. I looked after them. One had a Munna tucked under his arm like a football. "Wow, Layla, no offense, but you need to lose a little weight," Cheren groaned, massaging his elbows. "What's in your backpack, Nuggets? And what was that all about? You were freaking out, and those guys were freaking out, and…"

"FffffffffffffHEATHER!" I screamed, crawling back over to her. If there had been any doubt, there wasn't now. A double row of large bootprints dotted the muddy road; one print passed cleanly over Heather's face and neck, which had been driven two inches further into the wet dirt by the weight of their armor and bodies. Only one paw was moving, and as I reached her, even that stilled.

"Layla… oh… oh. Crap." Cheren bit his knuckle. "Layla…"

"_I don't want to hear it,_" I said with as much venom as I could muster, and Cheren staggered back as if struck. "Why don't you go win yourself another badge? It's not like you have to care about anything else, as long as your goal is set. Am I right? Yeah, I've got you nailed." Cheren did nothing but blink at me for several seconds, and I realized he was blinking back tears. I searched for something to say, but I was saved by Bianca's arrival, flanked by a little crying girl.

"But Cheren! But Cheren! Team Plasma stole this girl's Munna and Layla and I saw them horribly abusing another Munna last night and it's awful and…" the words died on her lips as she saw me kneeling over my Purrloin in the mud puddle and Cheren hugging his arms to himself, both our eyelids red-rimmed. "Oh, Arceus… is that Layla's…?" he nodded. "Team Plasma did this?"

Cheren bit his lip. "Yeah…" he said finally, not meeting Bianca's eyes. "They did." I had looked to my Pokéball belt for a second, preparing to withdraw Heather for the last time, so I didn't see whether Bianca believed him or not. "I'm going to go make this right," he said with sudden confidence. "I'm gonna make them give that Munna back, by any means necessary. Bianca, are you coming?"

"Bianca, you stay with the girl," I ordered, without looking up past their feet. They both stopped dead. "I'm coming, Cheren."

"Are… you sure?" he asked lamely.

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, steeling my voice. I had withdrawn Heather. "Let's go show Team Plasma the wrongness of sundering people from Pokémon. There will be reparations, or there will be consequences." Cheren caught my double meaning. "Let's go." We turned and marched off, following the clear-as-day footprints – Plasma had tracked mud even where the route had dried off. Only once did I look back. Where Heather had expired, Bianca stood, teaching the little girl to make the wheel-and-cross symbol of Arceus's blessing.

RIP Heather lv. 5 – lv. 13  
>Fury Swipes, Cut, Assist, Sand Attack<p>

* * *

><p>Cheren was edgy, and had excused himself within a minute to run ahead and scope out the area. I didn't blame him – it was about time he pulled his head out of his ass. I'd been blind to miss it – Cheren had been avoiding Bianca and I because he wanted us as yardsticks, measurements of progress only to be pulled out occasionally to compare himself to. He had only battled Bianca once, and won narrowly despite a type disadvantage, so I could only assume I was his moving target right now. Well, he had avoided a shutout this time. I hope he was happy.<p>

"Hey, wot're ya doin'?" a voice asked from above. My chin popped up angrily. Just a Pidove – white, grey, and black-feathered, yellow-eyed, plump, with a small wattle and a derpy expression.

"None of your business," I snapped.

"Are ya after those Team Plasma blokes?" he asked innocently.

"Yeah, what of it?"

"I hate 'em. My brother, they took him from a trainer who used to let 'em out to play with me each marnin'. Now he never gets to come to the trees 'nymore. I'll show ya tha way, maybe help ya fight'em," he offered.

"Thanks," I said. "One second." I had tossed a Pokéball before he could mangle one more word with his brogue. He almost dodged it in surprise, but it caught him at the talon and dragged him in. Before the ball had stopped shaking, it was in my hand. "Sorry to be rude, but I don't want to wait to calm down."

Met Janaff at Route 3!  
>Male Pidove lv. 9.<br>Gentle nature, Big Pecks.  
>Quick tempered.<p>

I had barely taken another few steps before a new figure stepped in my way. It was a Pokémon, and it stood at chest height to me. He was chubby, covered in strawberries-and-cream-colored fur in the pattern of an open jacket with a hood. A white fluffy tail shook behind him, and long fiddlehead-like extensions hung from his large, scalloped ears. I recognized the species; an Audino. However, this was no ordinary Audino. A scar ran down each of its temples, and its eyes were bright red. It scowled up at me instead of wearing the sweet smile of a nurse-issue healer.

**"Hello,"** he said, and his voice was like a velvet-covered baseball bat slamming across my ear. **"My name is Audino Montoya. You killed my best friend."** He bared his teeth. **"Prepare to die."**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>What a tweest!<strong>**

****For serious, though, this is a fairly grim chapter. Team Plasma uses a Munna as a trampoline, which may or may not cross the line twice and be really funny to you. But then we have the fight with Cheren. Here's the story. That first Water Gun was a crit, but it left Heather with more than a third of her health left. I figured if the next shot didn't crit, she'd have two or three HP left and be golden to finish him. Well, it didn't crit, but for some reason the non-crit did more than half the damage of the crit, so I guess the Random Number God just fucked me - or Heather, depending on your point of view. My next team member death happens under the same circumstances. You'll see.****

****I thought Bianca might be the type to be a little quietly religious. Anything to put a third dimension to these characters, right?****

****Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke  
>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<br>Layla (c) me****


	5. Pointless Brutality

**Welcome to Chapter 5! In which Layla fights Team Plasma, makes a friend, loses a friend, and fights... well, more Team Plasma, technically.  
><strong>

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 5: Pointless Brutality**

"Get the hell out of my way," I growled. "Whatever this is, I have no time for it."

**"You do not recognize me."** Montoya looked resigned, not surprised. **"It seems you need a reminder."** He strode toward me, not the friendly waddle of a normal Audino but the broad, even steps of a man – or Pokémon – who knows what he wants and that he'll get it when the time is right. **"Will you deign to face me yourself, or will you send a minion into danger in your stead?"**

"I always get the loony ones. Tormod, use Tackle! We don't have time for this!" Tormod faithfully Tackled the strange Audino, but he let loose a fearsome Growl, deterring the pig before too much damage could be done. "Alright, try softening him up from a distance with Ember!"

"Right!" Tormod sprayed miniature flames in a cone at Montoya. His plush fur smouldered in some spots, but Montoya simply posed his arms and a green pulse suffused him. "What's…?" the flames on Montoya flickered out as if he was a birthday candle and the song was over, although the damage remained.

"That was Refresh," I said, confirming this hypothesis with my Pokedex. "Lots of Audino know it. Just -!" Montoya suddenly lunged forward and struck Tormod across the skull with his elbow, sending the pig sprawling.

**"And that was Pound,"** Montoya explained, **"the most gentle of my defensive maneuvers. Are you quite comfortable working for this woman, little piglet?"**

"I don't care what you say," Tormod panted, getting up. "Layla isn't capable of doing something like that! Besides, she's my trainer, and that's the Pokémon's vow – we do what we're ordered by those who can catch us, for good or for evil!" He let loose a fearsome Ember, and Montoya groaned in pain as the new fires on his fur began to emit multicolored sparks.

**"Ah, yes, the vow. It is foolish, it was never a good idea, and it will burn you as it has burned me. You will be seeing me again!"** He left, leaving only the pine-y scent of his charred, sparking fur in the air.

"What was that?" Tormod asked.

"Oh… Audino have been hunted almost to extinction," I replied, continuing towards Wellspring Cave. "The fluid in their blood that allows them to heal others has another use. When it reacts with the air, it gradually but permanently boosts the physical and mental capabilities of nearby Pokémon. Competitive trainers like Cheren tracked Audino down and forced them to battle to the death, because the innocent blood put power in the veins of their own Pokémon. If he's going to keep coming after us…" I thought. "We'll keep getting in fights with him, and he'll bleed more for us. Fighting him off probably means we're playing his twisted little game; he thinks it makes us no better than heartless would-be Champions."

"I knew some of that already," Tormod said, "Juniper used to worry about the Audino population. I was wondering about that one red-eyed Audino. Does he know you?"

I set my teeth. "He thinks he knows me, but he doesn't. And I don't know him."

* * *

><p>Cheren knelt outside the entrance of the cave – and it was a real cave, with a mouth tall enough that I'd only barely have to duck and wide enough that our entire teams could fit through. He looked like he had been crying. <em>Good. Let's see if he even learns a fraction of the pain conferred from the loss of a Pokémon.<em> Nonetheless, his voice was steady as he asked, "Are you ready?" I nodded. We turned and entered the cave together.

"Heard you sniffling outside, kid," one of the Plasma goons jeered before we had taken three steps.

"Trying to keep quiet like a little baby secret agent," another added.

"But you failed. Just like your friend failed to catch me once I had that Munna in my hand." A third – my eyes were adjusting to the relative dark, and I counted four Plasma goons, all males, all sporting Patrat companions. Should be easy pickings.

"You make me sick," the first said. "This Pokémon is going to get to live free of your cruelty, and you weep."

"It will do glorious things for Team Plasma," the fourth enunciated, "and then it will be set free! …right?"

"Cut the Philosophy-in-a-can bullshit," I said. "We're here to kick ass, get revenge, take back Munna, and eat Tauros Jerky… and guess what I'm all out of?"

"Kicks?" one of the goons volunteered.

"This is hopeless," another decided. "Benny, I've got the loud girl. Get the guy with glasses!"

"Go, Bass!" Cheren declared, as I called out Rolf. Ignoring the presence of the Purrloin came naturally, so I was able to focus on my own fight. Rolf got into a Biding stance, and the other Patrat tried to kick sand into his eyes – Rolf laughed, his vision utterly unimpeded. Enraged, the grunt ordered his rat to Tackle, and met a doubled-power retaliation at the hands of Bide. The Plasma prairie dog started to get up, but a Bite kept him down. I looked over to see Cheren beating his foe less than two seconds behind me.

"Shit!" Benny exclaimed, and his friend concurred. The other two strode in, shoulder-to-shoulder. Their Patrats got between Cheren and I and posed back-to-back. "No matter. Kids can't beat Team Plasma's effortless teamwork!" Benny cried, his friends pumping their fists and "huzzah!"-ing appreciatively. Freaks.

Cheren and I returned our Pokémon, neither of us taking chances just in case this teamwork turned out to be half what it was cracked up to be. "Megaman!" Cheren let out his Pokémon carefully, with a moment's hesitation for my sake – but that was unnecessary. I had to get over it sooner or later, and I certainly didn't blame Megaman – how could I, after hearing Tormod renew the Pokémon vow in the forest?

"Tormod!" I cried, letting the little furnace out of his ball. "It's time to show these fuckers we can put aside our differences!"

"Right!" He only glanced at Megaman, standing on the other side of the Patrats, and nodded.

"Patrat, Bite!" The two commands were identical and almost in unison. The rats both went after Tormod, wood-shearing buck teeth bared.

"Megaman, Water Gun! Careful not to hit, uh, Tormod!" Taking his master's command to heart, Megaman took careful aim – he didn't get a shot in until after Tormod had shaken off one rat and gotten clamped by the other. Still, it was better this way – Tormod would shrug off the bites more easily than the friendly fire.

"Tormod… uh…" I looked at Tormod, who was flinching as he tried to struggle free. Any command now would be a waste. I let him break its grip and cried out, "Flame Charge!"

"Right!" The Patrat who had just let go (the dry one) took a Biding stance as Tormod wreathed himself in flames and tackled it. Meanwhile, as the other Patrat bore down on Megaman, the Oshawott spat a blast of water at the Biding Pokémon and knocked it down for the count. "Okay, one left!"

Megaman shrugged off a Tackle from the remaining rodent. "Go for it!" he said.

"Right," I said, "Flame Charge again!" His speed bolstered by the continued charge, Tormod overtook the Patrat before he could strike Megaman again. The fourth and final Patrat crashed to the ground, water steaming off of him.

"Damn," a Team Plasma member snarled, calling his Pokémon back. "A defeat for the side of righteousness!"

"Righteousness?" I said, as if it was funny, but then I screamed. "RIGHTEOUSNESS? You guys stomped my wounded Purrloin to death in the road on your way here!"

"Is that what that was?" one of them asked quietly. I locked eyes with him, and he sucked in his breath and turned away.

"No!" another said. "Wait a minute, that sounds weird! Why was your Purrloin lying wounded in a puddle?" Now it was Cheren's turn, and mine, to flinch back at the words. "I knew it! You guys were having a Pokémon battle – just a stupid battle between two friends – and you pushed your Pokémon too hard! I was there, too, and I thought that thing was dead already! I bet it wouldn't have lived long enough to get to the Pokémon center!" I lowered my face, hoping the brim of my cap would keep him from seeing the tears in my eyes. "You guys talk big, but you're just another part of the problem!"

"People learn, and change," Cheren said, his voice breaking a little. "I can change!"

"People don't change, and they don't learn!" another Plasma soldier said. "I know from experience!" He laughed mirthlessly. "My mom never learned my dad was lying when he said he'd stop hitting her." Even the other Plasma grunts stared at him, and the room got very quiet for a moment.

"Some people don't learn," I said finally, "but many do. But if you separate people and Pokémon, the opportunity to learn will be gone. Segregation breeds ignorance, and ignorance breeds paranoia." I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. "Give us the damn Munna and get out of here."

"Why should we? You're just gonna battle it to death!"

"That Munna's going back to a little girl who will love and treasure it," I said, "and it's leaving your hands or so help me my burning pig will impact your groin at twice-boosted-Speed. I was seriously considering beating you guys up with my Pokémon on the way here, and I think my friend here invited me to take my revenge however I like. But I knew then that it wouldn't bring my Purrloin back, and I know now that it won't change any of your minds. So why don't you give back the Pokémon you stole, and we can all leave like grown-ups? If you want her to release her Pokémon so bad, write her a fucking pamphlet. She's like six, so make sure it has some fucking pictures."

The Plasma member who had been holding the Munna shoved it into Cheren's hands, grumbling, and they filed out. "Pray you don't see us again!" one man shouted from a distance.

"That was… amazing." Cheren walked up to me and bowed his head. I was pleased to see this Munna only had a single bruise – it had probably been manhandled a little, but I don't think they had gotten around to smashing it for Dream Smoke. "Look, I'm sorry about what I did to… Heather?" I smiled sadly, and his eyes lit up. "Heather. I'm not done making it up to you, but in the meantime, I'm gonna go return this Munna. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be right behind you. I hear there are some interesting Pokémon in this cave, so I thought I'd catch one first." He nodded and walked out, cradling the Munna.

"I heard everythin'," a voice said from behind me. It was a Roggenrola, one of the aforementioned interesting Pokémon in the cave, and according to my Pokedex, it was exactly what I wanted to round out my team. It was certainly interesting looking, too – a blue-black rock with stubby little legs and a stubby little yellow club of an antenna on his head, and a big yellow-rimmed hole for a face which looked like an eye but was (according to the dex) an ear. "You're quite a gifted speaker, little lady. Tell you what… why don't you have one-a your boys there hit me as hard as they can? If they impress me, I'll join ya."

"Sounds good." I released Edward from his Pokéball. "Eddie, Bite this guy as hard as you can. He says he can take it."

Edward frowned. "I save my best bites for giants. He doesn't look like a giant to me."

The Roggenrola chuckled. "I can take a hit like a giant, and some days I surprise m'self and hit back like 'em, too."

"Very well!" Edward said, clearly fired up. "NOM!" He bit down , his lower jaw sliding into the Rock-type's earhole as his upper jaw found purchase on the side. I even heard the stone crack. "How's that?" Edward said, sliding off.

"Ugh… not bad…" the Roggenrola sagged to the side a bit, but quickly straightened. "You can dish it out, but can you take it?" And before I could protest about what was and wasn't part of the deal, he had leaned back and Headbutted Edward to the ground with a slam of his antenna.

I was shocked silent for a second, but then Edward said "Nice…" and got to his feet. He turned and gave me a reassuring grin. "I've got to learn to take hits like that if I'm gonna fight giants… have you always had four eyes?"

I sighed, pulling out an unused ball. "Suitably impressed, sir?"

"Quite," the Roggenrola said, and he made no attempt to resist the Pokéball.

Met Brom at Wellspring Cave!  
>Male Roggenrola, lv. 11.<br>Lax Nature, Sturdy.  
>Sturdy body.<p>

* * *

><p>"Can't believe ya didn' let me help," Janaff grumbled from my shoulder.<p>

"The opportunity didn't come up," I explained patiently. "Besides, you're an unknown quantity. I'm not familiar with you yet as a trainer."

"Hey, Layla!" I looked up. Cheren was waving at me from inside a large, thick patch of waist-high grass. "Check it out! This really tall grass has wild Pokémon that are a bit more powerful than the other local patches! Careful, though, because sometimes they come at you two at once! And… uh, yeah, that's it." He shrugged. "I'm gonna keep making this up to you, Layla."

"Thanks, Cheren." I already knew all that – Cheren was typically the smart guy of the group, but I had been studying up for a while now on facts that a Pokémon trainer should know. Besides, I was always the explorer among the three of us, even as a little kid. Still, he seemed to really be trying to change, and I wanted to humor him. "I'll… uh, keep it in mind."

He shrugged again, grinned awkwardly, and walked on ahead toward Nacrene City. "Twat," Janaff mumbled.

"He's trying," I insisted.

"Trying? I'm _trying_ to get a chance to prove myself to you, and you're talking to your twat buddy instead of venturing into the tall grass!"

I made for a shorter patch instead, having spotted an item ball lying abandoned inside. "I keep telling you," I said, pocketing the Great Ball, "I'm waiting for a good opportunity."

"Well, this looks like an opportunity right here," he said, looking up. I followed his gaze. It was Montoya. He had already come after me for the second time earlier; Brom had needed several hits to fell him, but Montoya's own offensive efforts had been like… well, there was a saying about squeezing blood from a stone, or something along those lines. Now he was back for round three, and frustratingly, there wasn't a scratch on him.

He began fresh. **"Hello. My name is Audino Montoya. You killed my best friend. Prepare to die."**

"I haven't killed anybody," I said, "and that accusation's really starting to sting, bub. Janaff, Quick Attack!" Responding obediently, my bird dashed past Montoya at dive speed, leaving a glittering cut on his cheek. Montoya Growled in his surprisingly deep, throaty voice, and I saw Janaff brake in uncertainty. "Janaff, follow up with Gust!" The blast of wind pushed the heavier 'mon back a few feet, although he kept his footing.

**"Still playing the innocent, but attacking like an assassin. Let's see how you like it!"** He darted forward and swung out with a Doubleslap, but Janaff barrel-rolled out of the second hit and escaped the third.

"Ya hit like a girl!" Janaff taunted. "A FAT girl!"

**"You tread dangerous ground, boy,"** Montoya warned.

"Caaaaaaaaankles!" Janaff warbled, laughing insanely.

"**Boy, I will crush your skull to prove a point."**

"I've had enough of your threats and enigmatic accusations!" I yelled. "Janaff, Gust him again!" The wind came again, this time picking Montoya up off his feet and throwing him against a tree trunk. "Yes!" I saw him grunt in pain when he hit the trunk, knew he had landed on the broken stump of a branch and probably hurt himself.

**"Your lies cannot harm me any more than the pathetic admirers you surround yourself with." **Montoya kicked off against the tree trunk, and in a flash he was on top of Janaff. He let loose with Doubleslap again, hitting him once, twice, thrice…

"Nice try, old man, but these feeble slaps can't break my wings!" Janaff bragged. Still, I could see him wince as the fourth slap caught him in the face, forcing him to flap to regain air control.

And then, just like that, Montoya grabbed Janaff out of the air, holding him by the head in one paw. **"Very well," **he whispered, and squeezed until the screaming was replaced by a horrible set of cracking sounds.

It took me a minute to find a word for what had just happened. Only when he tossed the bloody corpse to my feet did I settle on a hysterical, teary **"FAWCK!"** I think I fell to my knees… I know I let Rolf and Edward out, on reflex more than anything. Rolf saw the body and made the connections immediately, and he started weeping as well. Edward stood close enough that I could feel his warmth beside me, baring his teeth at Montoya.

The red-eyed Audino smiled grimly, traced over his own scars with Janaff's blood as if that was so much more palatable. **"I see a little more of your true self shining through. Do you remember me now? Do you remember what was shared between us? What you have buried and abandoned to its fate?"  
><strong>

"Go away," I said pathetically.

**"The past will not remain buried!"**

"Make him GO AWAY!" Montoya took a step toward us, and suddenly it was not Edward but Rolf who leapt up and sank his fangs into Montoya's arm. Montoya gasped at the Crunch and staggered back, pulsing himself with Refresh instinctively. Rolf finished with a Tackle, and Montoya struck his head on a tree trunk and was still. The only sounds were me heaving, Rolf panting, and the faint snaps of Montoya's blood as it reacted with the air. "Let's get out of here," I whispered. I didn't want to be around when he woke up.

RIP Janaff lv. 9 – lv. 11  
>Gust, Growl, Leer, Quick Attack<p>

* * *

><p>"Ah, Layla!" Cheren waved to me from under the awning of the Nacrene City Pokémon center. He met me ten feet from the doors. "I got this really juicy bit of information on Lenora and – oh my god," he said, reading my expression. "Again?" I nodded. "Was it another trainer?"<p>

"A wild Pokémon," I choked. "It was this weird Audino that's been stalking me."

"An Audino?" Cheren blinked. "That can't be right, Layla, Audino are almost extinct in the wild. The population down here is particularly weak, I don't think any would be left –"

"This wasn't a normal Audino, and it wasn't weak!" I shouted, angrier than I meant to be. "It has red eyes, and scars on its face, and…" I stopped myself from telling him it was saying it knew me. I didn't want to wrap anybody up in that. That was between me and Montoya.

"Are you sure?" Cheren asked, his own voice anything but sure.

"Cheren, it crushed my Pidove's _skull._ It wasn't normal." Cheren sucked in a breath. "Look, I just want to box my two dead Pokémon and sit down and cry until I fall asleep."

"You don't want dinner? There's a diner here that's supposed to be nice…" I shook my head, and I guess that's when Cheren decided to really take it seriously – when my appetite was deflated. "Okay. I'll see if I can get in touch with the Pokémon Rangers, talk to them about this weird Audino. Before I go, though…" he pressed a Chesto Berry into my hand. "One of Lenora's Pokémon is supposed to pull out Hypnosis if the going gets tough. Give this to a Pokémon and it'll stop itself from falling asleep." He started to make a motion like he was gonna hug me, but stopped himself before I even had the chance to flinch back. "Take care of yourself, Layla." I watched as he headed downtown, glumly rolling the Berry in my hand.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until I left the Pokémon center the next morning that I actually SAW Nacrene City. Except for the Gym (which, I learned quickly, was a Museum) and the Pokémon Center, the whole place was old warehouses. I learned quickly that the warehouses were a hundred years old or more and had been restored as housing for the young and poor, and had become a creative center of art and music, so it was now an extremely trendy place to live. I learned one more thing quickly, which was that most of the inhabitants of the city were delighted to brag about it.<p>

I was more or less moping that morning, still put off by the untimely deaths of my Pokémon, and I had no intention of challenging the gym without another day to train and recover (especially not with those rumors about Lenora). However, by noon, I found myself drawn towards the Museum (which was, of course, the Gym). I decided I'd scope out the Gym for tomorrow, enjoy the sights of the museum, and maybe see if they had a café. I had nearly reached the glass doors when he stepped out from them.

He walked rapidly toward me, his fists bunched and his cap brim low over his face, so I backpedaled until he was standing where I had been and I had given him a good five feet. It was N, the guy who had commanded the alley cat in Accumula. The shirt, cap, and pants could belong to anybody, but the hair, jewelry, and his weird demeanor were unmistakable. "I…" his words, after this initial pause, came out rushed and breathless, just like before. "I want to see things no-one can see. The truths of Pokémon inside their balls. The ideals of how trainers should be. And a future where Pokémon have become perfect." I thought he was just thinking aloud until he locked eyes and said, "Do you feel the same?"

I looked around. No Cheren to tell him he was a psycho, and no Bianca to politely ask him to repeat himself. His words sounded half-meaningless, but there was nothing I could really object to – more communication between Pokémon and trainers, trainers who treat their companions better, and the superior tomorrow that results from that, right? I shrugged and said, "Yeah, I do…." Before I could even add a "but…" and explain that it wasn't that simple, he was talking again.

"That so? I think my friends and I should test you to see if you can really see this future." I saw the Pidove land on his shoulder, and two other Pokémon appeared from behind the museum's ornamental front columns. It didn't matter how much I didn't want this, it was on. N grinned and pointed, sending the Pidove in circles around me.

"Fine. Go, Brom!" The chunk of rock with feet materialized in front of me. "Let's test that new move! Rock Blast!"

"Gust," N replied coolly.

"Aye, captain!" Brom fired a series of small rocks at the Pidove. However, while the Gust wasn't capable of more than the smallest scratches to Brom's hide, it did make the rocks miss. Frustrated, I had him try again, while N elected to switch to Leer. This time, two rocks struck home, and they were more than enough.

"That's enough, Pidove. Tympole, cover him!" N sent in a small water-type Pokémon with a strange, plaintive expression, a finned tail, weird speaker-like appendages on either side of its head, and no other limbs to speak of. It looked weak.

"Edward, get that thing! Take Down!" Barking, Edward slammed an extra-hard, reckless Tackle onto the Tympole.

"Bubblebeam," N said, still quick as a whip, but still calm. The bruised Tympole spat out a powerful column of foam that knocked Edward back, hard. He was sent sprawling. It was at about this point that I remembered the extremely dangerous Water Gun we faced yesterday, and realized that despite the unassuming name and the unassuming Tympole, that Bubblebeam was even more powerful.

"Shit. Edward, finish it off with a Tackle!"

"Unf… right!" The second Bubblebeam hit before Edward made the final leap, and one of his legs gave out, sending him tumbling into his Tackle and landing several feet to the side of the tadpole. "Gah!" Edward cried out in pain. This was no ordinary foam.

"Double shit. Edward, are you okay?"

"The giantslayer… won't be finished off so easily!" Edward got up on his good paws and smashed into the Tympole, knocking it out.

"Hmm… so be it. Timburr, you're on cleanup." N's last Pokémon was grey with red markings. It was small, humanoid, and carrying a wooden beam. It had a pompadour-like appendage on its forehead and another at the base of its skull. It looked goofy but strong. And I was fairly certain it was fighting-type, so I wasn't going to keep a wounded Edward out front.

"Tormod, you're up. Open with a Defense Curl."

"Right!" the little pig eagerly got between Edward and the Timburr, curling to expose his padded back to the Timburr.

"Timburr, Leer!" N called softly, more or less negating the effect of my maneuver.

"Fine. Tormod, Flame Charge!"

"Timburr, Bide." The fighter stuck his pole into the ground and braced against it, blocking Tormod's burning slam. However, the flames still licked around him, and the pole ignited. I saw Timburr's muscles tense with stored energy.

"Shit!" I knew what was coming. I also knew that another Defense Curl wouldn't help one iota, and another blow would make it worse. "Tormod, use Tail Whip!" A little surprised, Tormod still wobbled his butt at Timburr. The Timburr grinned and picked up his burning pole, spinning 360 degrees to deliver a home-run swing to Tormod's backside.

"Yii!" Tormod yelled, spinning through the air. He landed on all fours sideways against one of the museum's pillars, and slid down, his trotters making a scratching sound. "That was a fun trip! Let's not do that again!"

"Timburr, Low Kick," N half-shouted, his cool having warmed and hardened into determination. "If we do not test their determination, this will mean nothing!"

"Tormod, hit him with another Flame Charge!" Tormod struck first, slamming the clownish strongman full-on with the Flame Charge this time, but the Timburr managed to stay on his feet. He drove his pole into the ground burning-end down and swung around it, kicking Tormod's legs out from under him. Both looked beaten up when they broke away from each other.

"Finish him off!" N and I both cried; "with a Tackle!" I finished, while N concluded with "Another Low Kick!" The Timburr drove its stick into the ground again, but the flames had weakened it, and it snapped, leaving the Timburr helpless on the ground. Tormod Tackled his round-nosed face into the sidewalk. "Yes!" I cried.

"Hmm…" N crossed his arms and set his jaw as his battered team regrouped around him. "I can't make my vision a reality yet. My friends are great, but they lack the power. I can't solve the equation that'll change the world, so I need… power. Power to make anybody agree with me."

"What are you babbling about there?" I asked, walking over, but I think N was assuming I just wanted what all trainers wanted, so he emptied his wallet into my hand and waved me away.

"Yes… now I know the kind of power I need. Zekrom, the Legendary Pokémon of ideals! He could assist me in making the world a better place! He helped create the whole region! It's my turn to become his patron hero, and then everybody will be my friend!" He looked at me and grinned the pure, sweet grin of an innocent man. "Even you!" And just like that, they were gone.

"Are you ok, Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah…" he tested his weight on it and winced, but it held. "Let's get back to the Pokémon center, but I think it'll be better by tonight."

"What a weird guy," Tormod said. He was pretty battered himself, but walking fine. "His Pokémon really love him, though."

I sighed. "He's kinda nuts, but he's got some good ideas and he seems to want to do the right thing." I looked at Edward and Tormod and bit my thumbnail. "I think I'm gonna start keeping the team outside their Pokéballs more often. Would that be alright?" They cheered, and I smiled nervously.

**Hah, I bet you thought Montoya was a joke character, right? Well, he was serious about that skull-crushing. Yeah, that happened the third time I ran into an Audino. The RNG hit Pidove with Doubleslap twice, and then it was like, "Five hits, second hit's a critical, and the last hit does more damage than the other non-criticals just because fuck you." So Janaff is another victim.**

**I'm trying not to make Team Plasma universally assholes here. There are plenty of assholes, but there are also guys who really want to help Pokemon, and some good-hearted but socially inept people... you know, like N but not special. And then there's N, who is special, being a made-to-order messiah and all.**

**Also learning to be less of an asshole: Cheren.**

**Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke**  
><strong>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<strong>  
><strong>Layla (c) me<strong>


	6. The Joy and the Pain

**In this chapter, I make a friend and I lose a friend, but there's also evolution and growth to be found.  
><strong>

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 6: The Joy and the Pain**

"Excuse me, would you like a free TM?" a woman asked me. The summer sun was shining on the road west of Nacrene – I was headed into Pinwheel Forest to train, and maybe catch some new friends.

This was certainly a promising omen for the excursion. "Yeah, I'd love one!" I grabbed the disk from her and looked it over.

"That TM contains Rock Smash, but don't be fooled – it's actually a fighting-type move. I'll teach you how to use TMs, but first if you don't mind, I'd like to speak to you about the Lord Arceus. Is that OK?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, putting on my most pleasant smile. It's funny how I had forgotten not everything in life is free – sure, sometimes you can get a berry or a creepy monkey for nothing, but sometimes it's not so easy.

The woman began to lecture. "Well, our top scholars believe that Arceus may have created the universe as early as 1994 or as late as 1997. First, Arceus created the Universe. But it was just a formless mass, so he sent his three sons to grant it form. Palkia created Space and Dialga created Time, while Giratina, the third son, watched and learned. Then Arceus beseeched Mew to fill his beautiful but empty universe, and Mew created Life. Giratina recognized that although each instance of Life was beautiful, they must each also end, so he created the Afterlife. But on his first attempt he failed, and created the Distortion World…"

I didn't hear any more because by now we were all out of earshot. "That was hilarious," Tormod snickered. "When do you think she'll notice you're gone?"

"Probably when she tries to ask me a question," I answered with a grin. "Hey, Brom, I've got a cool move to teach you." As I pressed the TM to his head (torso?), we heard shouting around the corner of the footpath. "Stick close, guys."

It was Team Plasma – a whole platoon of them. They were clustered around a big bonfire and blocking most of the path into Inner Pinwheel Forest, and we weren't about to sneak around the edges. From this distance, though, they seemed too absorbed in their little pep rally to see us. An older man in a yellow-lined red fur coat was leading them, waving his little matching fur hat in the air. "What do we want?" he bellowed, perspiration dripping off him.

"To free Pokémon from their trainers!" a couple of men called.

"That's right!" the man had a raspy voice, the voice of a man who had been shouting angrily all his life. He had tan skin and sweat-drenched silver hair, and his eyes were hidden behind wire-rimmed glasses. "And why do we want that?"

"Because trainers are abusive bastards!" this from a woman in front.

"Yeah! When do we want it?"

"Now!" now he had a bunch of people responding.

"And where do we want it?"

"EVERYWHERE!"

"Let's go," I said, leading the way back out of the forest.

"I really don't trust those guys," Rolf said from behind me.

"And if necessary," the man ranted, "If necessary, how are we going to accomplish our goal?"

_"BY FORCE!"_

* * *

><p>"Wow!" the nurse said. "You're quite the strong trainer! I'll be happy to heal your Pokémon whenever you need it!"<p>

"It's no challenge for the GIANTSLAYER," Edward said nonchalantly, one paw atop the defeated Munna. He was practically glowing with pride.

"Alright, Edward, take five," I chuckled. "Let her heal her own Pokémon, too."

"Layla? I feel funny…" Wait. Edward was _literally_ glowing. "Did you feed me anything different?"

"No, that was just normal Pokéchow." I smiled in surprised delight. "Edward, I think you're evolving!" And he was. In a few seconds, he had more than doubled in height and length, his muzzle had developed more fully, and he had a tough-looking black outer coat. "You look _good._"

Edward classed up into Swordmaster... er, evolved into Herdier!

"I do look good!" he said proudly.

"Alright, guys, huddle." I put my arms around Tormod and Edward to either side of me, and we all leaned forward in a circle. Opposite me were Rolf and Brom, the latter making a kind effort not to bludgeon anybody with his antenna. "We had a couple of losses yesterday, and I'm going to be honest, it was about the worst day of my life. I don't want to see this happen to us again. This has been true from the beginning, but let me make it clear: we are a family… and a team… and a crew… and a pack. I will not tolerate this tragedy repeating itself. Any questions?"

"Are you the mommy?" Tormod asked with a giggle.

"That's right," I replied, completely serious. "I'm the mommy. And the captain, and the sergeant, and the alpha. I do the planning and the acting. But I couldn't do it without you guys. I need you. Now, let's get out there and get stronger so we can keep winning some badges."

"Is this club exclusive?" I looked up. Another Pidove, a female, was watching us from atop a boulder. "Because I've been looking for a strong trainer around here. But all the locals are lame, totally lame. Now you… you look like you've got your shit together, right? But you guys don't have a set of wings. You could use a set of wings."

"I'm gonna give you full disclosure," I said grimly. "We had a set of wings. Shit got real and he died yesterday. Today, we're getting real too. Do you still want to sign on?"

"Hell yeah, I wanna sign on." The Pidove waved her wing. "You sound like somebody who's learned a tough lesson recently. And I wanna learn to throw some wind blades like my parents could. Now, get your catch on."

"Well-"

"Come on, girl, ball me."

"If you insist!" The Pokéball was dead-on, and the Pidove hardly resisted.

Met Vika at Pinwheel Forest (Outer)!  
>Female Pidove, lv. 12.<br>Relaxed Nature, Super Luck.  
>Proud of its power.<p>

I let the newly-christened Vika out immediately. "Okay, guys. Back to the training."

* * *

><p>Tormod classed up into Fire Sage... that is, evolved into Pignite!<p>

"Sweet!" I pumped a fist. "You're part Fighting-type now, if I'm not mistaken. I hear there's a Challenge Rock somewhere around here."

"I'm feeling pretty good about this!" Tormod flexed his new hoof-hands. "Yeah, I feel… strong! I bet I could crack rocks! And I'm ready to burninate the countryside!"

"Yeah, please don't do that," I said.

**"It's nice to know your morals haven't completely dissolved in these long years."**

"Oh, god, not you again," I said. But there he was – Audino Montoya, as I live and breathe. "You just can't leave us alone, can you?"

"Who's this jackwagon?" Vika asked. "He looks a few nails short of a birdhouse."

"That's the guy who killed the previous Pidove…" Rolf whispered to her urgently.

"Well… oh. Shit."

**"It seems I have not yet properly introduced myself today. Hello. My name is Audino Montoya. She…"** he craned his head toward me… **"Killed my best friend. Prepare to die."** With no further preamble, he jumped at Vika. She endured a few hits of Doubleslap and knocked him back with a Gust, then struck him with a Quick Attack while he Growled at her.

"Alright, that's it!" I waved my arms. "Vika, get out of there!"

"But I've almost got him!" she complained.

**"Believe what you will, little bird."**

"I'm in charge here!" I countered. "Besides, you only think you have him! This guy's got crazy defensive strength! Tormod, get in there!"

"Right!" Tormod jumped in, shrugging off a round of Doubleslaps for Vika's good.

**"Bah. Small quarry, large quarry, medium… it doesn't matter." **Montoya moved in on Tormod's personal space, readying another round of Doubleslaps just for the pig.

"Tormod, Arm Thrust!" I countered.

"Yeah!" Tormod slammed first one hoof, then the other into Montoya's chest. A third blow came, and then a fourth, knocking the Audino back. The tell-tale shine of his rare blood glittered from between his teeth, but the next moment, he had slipped from view. "Hey, where'd he go?" Tormod and I rushed forward, and were greeted with our answer – Tormod had knocked him back over the ledge of the hill we were fighting on, sending him rolling down a steep embankment into a lower section of grass. "Should we chase him?" Tormod asked, catching his breath.

I shook my head. "I'm sure he'll find us again. Especially if we stay here, so let's keep moving. I don't know what his game is, but it's sick and we should do what we can to stay out of it." A flash of soft red light in the grass below caught my attention; I didn't know what it was, but my fear outweighed my curiosity. "Yeah, we're gonna keep moving."

* * *

><p>"Go, Timburr!" The martial artist in front of me, unsurprisingly, had sent out a Fighting-type. Like I'd see anything else from a guy in a gi.<p>

"Vika, you've got the advantage here! Take him down!" Vika had taken to hanging out on my shoulder as my collection of Pokémon small enough for that had dwindled, but she took off with an eagerness that belied her soft voice. "Use your Air Cutter!"

"Wind blades, bitch," Vika replied. I was sure she was smirking around her beak, if such a thing were possible.

"Timburr, Rock Throw!" the Black Belt grunted. The Timburr leveraged his big stick under a stone and tossed it into the air just before Vika's blade struck home. It left a deep cut across the fighting-type's chest, but the sound of the rock striking Vika across the head was horrifying.

"Vika!" She hadn't dropped completely out of the air, which was reassuring. "I didn't know he had that move, let's get you out of there!"

"I can handle it!" Vika called back. Her beak was chipped, but if it hurt, she didn't let it show in her eyes or her voice. "He can't take another hit!"

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. Let me take the shot." I was worried… but after my losses yesterday, her confidence was like a beacon that far outshone mine. I was in no mental state to veto her decision, reckless or not.

"Okay… Air Cutter." Vika launched the wind blade with a wide sweep of her wings, but in the time she and I had been arguing, the Timburr had gotten behind his wooden beam. The attack cut him on both arms around the block, but he avoided a direct hit.

"Rock Throw, Timburr! Do it!" The Timburr kicked a stone like a soccer ball, and it hit dead on target – another head shot. It was over so quick. I watched as Vika dropped to the ground, her neck twisted at a horrible angle, her eye smeared over with fresh blood. This wasn't like with Heather. There was no question as to her fate. "Timburr, no! That was too much!" the black belt looked more annoyed than genuinely concerned. He didn't really care that his Pokémon had just murdered one of mine. He was just… _irritated_ that his Timburr lacked control, because he knew at an intellectual level that accidentally killing other people's Pokémon would cause trouble for him.

"FUCK!" I screamed. I didn't know what else to do. Why me? Why three in two days? What the hell had I done to deserve this?

When I screamed, the black belt had flinched back. He looked like he had seen a ghost, but he shook his head and the expression passed. "I apologize for the damage we have done, but you are not faultless. You need to learn better caution and control over your Pokémon, as do I." He bared his teeth. "I will claim my prize money now."

"Fuck you," I hissed. "Edward. Take Down."

"Sending in a normal type? How foolish. Timburr…" but it was too late. His Pokémon was already down, Edward standing on top of him. "It appears I have made a tactical error. I did not specify a one-on-one battle." He bowed to me, and gave me some money. "I'm deeply sorry for your loss." He wasn't. "Your Pignite looks strong. You should test his strength against the Challenge Rock." He felt vindicated by giving me the advice and his conscience was clear.

"Gee… thanks," I said. So much for the honorable Fighting-type.

RIP Vika lv. 12 – lv. 16  
>Air Cutter, Growl, Leer, Quick Attack<p>

* * *

><p>"What's up, Layla?" Bianca asked, peering across the wooden table at me. My Pokémon and I sat at an outdoor table for six in a Nacrene City café, holding an impromptu wake for Vika. After Heather and Janaff died, I had no appetite. But after today, I was starving, and Bianca happened across me wolfing down a sloppy joe and a big soda pop. "Uh… is it okay if I sit down?"<p>

I swallowed my mouthful of food. "Yeah, sure, but I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Okay…" Bianca sat down in the single empty chair; customers were to order food at a window built into the side of the restaurant, and she didn't feel like eating just yet. "I got the Trio Badge!" Bianca said proudly, showing it to me. I mumbled a congratulations. We lapsed into uncomfortable silence for a while, and then the accordion player wandered over to us.

_"I wanna be the very best…"_ he sang. _"Like no-one ever was…"_ Bianca seemed to appreciate it, as did Edward, Tormod and Rolf (who had evolved into a Watchog on the way back), so I let him finish the song before tipping him to go bother somebody else.

This ruined Bianca's mood – she seemed to have been getting excited for more songs from the guy, but for whatever reason it didn't occur to her to follow after him. So instead she said, "I can't believe you eat that right in front of Tormod, Layla. You know that meat contains ground-up Tepigs and Pignites, right?"

I squinted at her over my sandwich. Not this debate again. "This sandwich actually has ground Bouffalant," I replied, dodging the accusation.

"And it's **delicious,**" Tormod added. "I found an unfinished one in the trash, it was really good."

"But you're eating cooked, eaten Pokémon right in front of your Pokémon!"

"They kill and eat each other in the wild," I said calmly. "Some even eat their own kind, like Trubbish."

"That's the wild! This is factory farming, and it's so cruel!" she managed not to be on the verge of tears this time, but I was, and I didn't want her to start thinking I was persuadable on the subject. She didn't know how emotionally vulnerable I was right now.

"I've donated to groups that promote humane treatment of farmed Pokémon," I explained curtly, "but I'm not about to go vegetarian. The fact of the matter is, I'm just more of a carnivore than you, Bianca, and I'm not about to stop eating things because they had feelings once."

"But-"

"It works both ways, Bianca," I interrupted. "You can't feel bad about eating Braviary nuggets, because they'd do the same to you. They actually do carry off human children from Opelucid once in a while." My sandwich was gone now, so I just angrily drank my soda at her.

"What's with you tonight, Layla?" Bianca asked. "You're in a really rotten mood!"

"I've kind of had a lot on my mind," I snapped. Silence reigned again for a minute. Well, the accordionist was singing, but he was across the terrace.

Finally, she said, "I'm sorry about Heather."

I shook my head. "There was nothing you could've done. Besides… I've actually had more of my Pokémon die since then." Bianca looked suitably horrified. "Both of the Pidoves I tried to raise… it was so hard to watch."

Bianca bit back what was no doubt a comment about my carelessness (losing three Pokémon in two days, could you blame her?), and just… stared at me. "Are you still going to face Lenora?" she whispered.

"Tonight, maybe," I said. "My Pokémon are tough enough now."

"Everybody says Lenora is really tough."

"Yeah."

"Are you ready?"

"We're ready," Tormod grunted.

"He says we're ready," I repeated.

Bianca smiled. "Well, who am I to argue with your Pokémon?"

* * *

><p>"Welcome to the museum, challenger!" the museumgym was… surreal. I had barely explained I was here for the gym before I was being led around by Curator Hawes himself, a nerdy guy in a white sweater. As he explained various fossils and shiny rocks to me, I couldn't help but wonder if they brought people who said they wanted to see the museum into the gym portion.

"I don't see any art exhibits here," I noticed.

"Yeah, we tend to leave the arts to the galleries up in Castelia. The gym leader there is a professional artist, you know. Instead, we focus on natural history. But we do have one portrait!" He led me to a picture of a determined-looking black woman with a chunky physique. "Mai waifu," he reported.

"Oh, that's great!" I looked at this graying, skinny nerd, and then at the picture of Lenora, and tried not to laugh. What did she see in him? "So you and Lenora, huh?"

"Yeah… we met on an archaeological dig we were both assigned to. When she became gym leader here, she helped me get the curator job." He adjusted his glasses. "I shouldn't keep you any longer. We close in less than an hour. Good luck!" As he walked back to his desk, I could hear him mutter how much I would need it.

"Brom, go!" I had been surprised at first to learn that the 'Gym' was just the museum's archive area, and the library staff were the resident gym trainers. Almost as surprised as I was to find the same silver-haired guy, Clyde the Guide, giving me Fresh Water brand fresh water, advising the use of fighting types, and telling me about library books.

"Herdier," my opponent called calmly. She was one of the museum's researchers, a cold woman who bore a passing resemblance to Fennel. I would chew through her just as easily as the rest of the trainers around here – they were half a cut above other local trainers, like most Gym trainers, but the day's regimen had left my Pokémon raring to fight. However, this scientist did something I wasn't expecting – she used some sort of spray on her Pokémon. "It's an X Defend," she explained.

"Brom, drop that defense back down with Rock Smash!" I called. Brom kicked the Herdier with strength enough to crack stone, but it barely staggered from the blow.

"Herdier, Bite!" she called.

"Brom, Rock Blast!" When the Herdier's fangs closed around Brom's antenna, he grunted, but he got up in record time and shot a pair of stones out of his ear. The Herdier staggered back, but he didn't look close to dropping yet. We called out the same attacks again, but this time Brom flinched at the force of the Bite and his rocks went wide.

"Keep Biting!" the woman ordered.

"Brom, hit it with another Rock Smash!" He shrugged off the Bite and slammed the Herdier in the ribs with his antenna, and this time I saw the Herdier's knees buckle – its defense was finally starting to be affected.

"Bite again!" My next command died on my throat as Brom flinched back from the Bite, in obvious pain.

"Brom, let me heal you," I said.

"I can give it one more shot first, then I'll take a Potion," he said.

"Herdier, go for the throat!" the scientist cried. "Take Down as hard as you can!"

"Bitch, don't even JOKE like that!" I yelled. "Brom, Rock Smash this woman's Pokémon until she regrets her choice of words! But don't kill it… we have standards!"

The Herdier slammed Brom back and sunk its fangs into his antenna, almost knocking him off his feet. "Durnit…" Brom grunted, his stubby legs shaking under him. "I'm not about to be bossed around by some dog!" Brom slammed his antenna, and the dog's face with it, into the ground. The Herdier bounced loose, and Brom wasted no time in kicking it away. As luck would have it, the unconscious Pokémon crashed into its owner, and she tripped over the step-stool she had been standing on when I first talked to her, falling onto the shelf. I watched in satisfaction as the shelf collapsed backwards into the wall, spilling books all over the floor.

"Don't even joke about killing people's Pokémon," I repeated, my fists clenched.

"You're good," the scientist said, withdrawing her Herdier and acting like the fight hadn't just happened. "Will you be fighting Lenora?"

I looked at my team. They were strong, but exhausted. We needed sleep. "Tell her I'll be here tomorrow morning," I said.

* * *

><p><strong>Woo, this was a tough chapter to write. Motivation has been flowing at a trickle. But I'm starting to catch up with my cartridge, which I'm convinced is the key to motivating myself.<strong>

**The battle with Lenora kicks off the next chapter. Today you'll have to satisfy yourself with trainer battles, evolution, and the acquisition and death of a new team member.**

**Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke  
>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<br>Layla (c) me**


	7. The Stuff of Trainers

****Chapter 7! I get my second badge and chase Team Plasma!****

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 7: The Stuff of Trainers**

I stood in front of the stairway to Lenora's office. Having stomped all her helpers the previous day, I only needed to show a cursory demonstration of the Gym's puzzle before they let me in. "Give me a ready report, guys. Tell me how you're feeling."

"I'm psyched. EDWARD THE GIANTSLAYER will demolish anything thrown my way!"

"I won't lie and say I'm not nervous," Rolf said, "but I don't see how we can't win here."

"I'm gonna show you guys how we throw down in the caves!" Brom rumbled.

"Stop stalling and get in there!" Tormod urged. "We can take anything she can throw at us!"

"Okay…" I made my way nervously down the stairs. Lenora sat at her desk, reading through a thick stack of papers. A teapot sat atop a Bunsen burner running on the corner of her desk. The office was small and furnished with cheap, casual furniture; a Herdier was napping on top of a leather couch covered with scratch marks. It seemed cozy enough, though.

"Give me a minute," Lenora said distractedly. "I'm reading an assistant's dissertation; there's a section break coming up on the next page."

"LENORA I'VE COME TO CHALLENGE YOU TO A GYM BATTLE," I said, much more loudly than I'd intended to. I was honestly so nervous that morning that I'm not sure how I got my pants on. Maybe I didn't.

She looked up, at any rate. "Why do you have all your Pokémon out at once?" she asked, eyebrow raised, but the words were barely out of her mouth when she bit her thumb. "Oh, lord, you had your first death recently, didn't you?" I nodded numbly. "Sit down… we should have some tea before we battle." She waved me into a chair, which I sat in awkwardly; it was classroom-issue, and looked like the least comfortable thing in the room. "Here." She pulled a mug from a drawer and poured me a cup. It was orange-spice black tea, and she drank it regularly, judging from the way she smelled of it. It was a pleasant enough smell, though.

"Thanks," I said. Unsure of what to do, most of my Pokémon sat down on the stairs; Edward was unable to relax. "I lost three Pokémon in the two days since I got my first badge."

"Three?" Lenora's eyebrow shot up again, although her eyes were back on the dissertation. "You need to be more careful, girl. What happened? Did they all die at once?"

"No… they were all separate incidents…" I recounted, in brief, the stories of Heather, Janaff, and Vika's last battles. One thing stood out to me between them: "They were all so confident they would win," I realized, blinking back tears.

Lenora had put down the dissertation. "If your Pokémon looked unsure of themselves, you would've withdrawn them, and their deaths would've been prevented. But you can't forget… it's because of you that they put on a brave face. Your Pokémon knew what they were getting into… every Pokémon who lets itself be caught does. It's not hard for them to evade humans."

"I don't deserve them," I said, staring into my tea. I couldn't meet the woman's eyes. "They put their lives on the line several times a day for some lying, two-bit trainer."

"Well now," she said, crossing her arms, "If you take an attitude like that, you'll never beat me. Didn't you come here for a badge?"

"You're right… about everything." I finished my tea in one gulp, trying not to flinch from the burn I left on my tongue. "Are you ready to battle?"

"Let me prepare the office." Lenora pushed a button on her desk, and I yelped in surprise as the room split in half along a seam. Lenora, her desk, the couch with her Pokémon, and the wall behind them all slid back about fifteen feet, leaving me with a chair and an empty mug of tea most of the way across the room. The new space was unfurnished and the walls, floor and ceiling were all padded like an asylum cell. "What's your name, girl?"

"I'm Layla."

"Pleased to meetcha. I'm Lenora, the leader of Nacrene City Gym and the director of the Nacrene Museum! Now, I'm going to research how you battle with the Pokémon who would die for you! Go, Wilmore!"

"Alright… time for some action!" The Herdier leaped from his couch and cleared Lenora's desk in a single spring. He was several times Edward's age, but among Pokémon, that was hardly an indicator of weakness.

"To hold back now would be worse than foolish," I said aloud to myself. "Get 'im, Tormod." Tormod flexed his arms as he stepped into the padded portion of the room.

"You need to relax, Layla," he said. "We're your pack, remember?"

"Let's begin!" Lenora said. "Leer, Wilmore." The Herdier locked eyes with Tormod, staring deep into his soul and willing him to drop his guard. At least, that's what I assumed he was willing him to do.

"Tormod, use Arm Thrust!" Tormod jumped in and began slamming his prodigious arms into the dog. He did good damage, although Wilmore got clear before the third hit.

"Wilmore, get him back with a Take Down!"

"As you wish!" Wilmore slammed hard into Tormod elbows first, and the two took a tumble. Both groaned in pain as they got up.

"Now's your chance, Tormod! Another Arm Thrust!"

"Right!" Tormod's trotter-fists impacted the Herdier's side over and over. One, two, three hits… Wilmore went down in a semiconscious pile of fur.

"Forgive me, milady," he whispered. "I damaged him for you…"

"It's alright, Wilmore," Lenora said, returning him to a Pokéball. "Go, Cenac!" The Pokémon she sent out was a particularly fearsome-looking Watchog wearing what appeared to be an elbow brace.

"Wilmore went down? Sounds like we're battling seriously," Cenac said with a smile.

"Tormod, that's enough for now. Get in here, Brom." One thing I had heard about was Lenora's fearsome signature attack, Retaliate, which could destroy me if I had just K. one of her Pokémon. Luckily, Brom promised me he could survive any attack. I hoped he could hold up that promise.

"Brom, Rock Smash!" I called, and as he was charging, I waited for Lenora to open her mouth and issue her bone-chilling order for Retaliation.

"I'm beginning to see what kind of trainer you are. Cenac… Leer." Even the Watchog looked back at her, but her command held firm, and Leer was what Cenac did. Even as Brom kicked him, he took it like a champ and kept his eyes on the lump of rock.

"Leer again, Cenac."

"Rock Smash!" And so it happened again. _One or two more Rock Smashes will knock the Watchog down,_ I realized. "Go for another Rock Smash!" This one hit Cenac right in his braced-up arm, and I swear I saw it buckle.

"Hang on, Cenac," Lenora said, healing much of the damage with a Super Potion. "That was good. Now… Crunch!"

The Watchog darted forward like lightning, twisting sideways so that he could get his engorged jaws around Brom's whole body. In one smooth motion, he lifted Brom off the ground and bit in. I heard a horrible crack like the sound of a roast Ferroseed being shelled. It was far too close to the sound Montoya made with Janaff's skull. "Brom! Are you okay?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"I'm… **ugh…** I'm FINE!" Brom yelled. "Call a shot! Any shot!"

"Rock Blast!" I yelled desperately.

"Roger that!" Brom's dangling body rocked as a stone shot from his ear like a cannon. From our vantage points, Lenora and I got to watch as the stone slammed against the back of Watchog's mouth, visible as it rocked Cenac's cheeks. Cenac staggered and tried to disengage himself, but his teeth were stuck fast, and three more stones slammed into the back of his mouth before he disengaged himself, dropping both Brom and the stones he had fired.

It was all over. Cenac fell to all fours and puked a little bit. "Ah… AH!" he wailed, coughing ferociously. "No more! No… no more!" He barely managed to push himself clear of his own vomit before collapsing. "I'm sorry, Lenora…" he gasped. "I can't continue."

"That looked pretty nasty… Layla, you win!" Lenora ran over to Cenac and began inspecting his mouth. "No question, that was the right move at the right time. I couldn't expect my Pokémon to keep fighting after a hit like that. Ah, look, his uvula's bleeding… I'll have to take him down to the Pokémon center and get that looked at." She withdrew him. "My theory about you was correct, Layla. You're worthy of receiving this…" she drew a rectangular pin from her hair, shaped like the purple spine of a hardcover book. "The Basic Badge!" She pinned it to my hat, next to the Trio Badge, and offered her hand. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" I said, still in disbelief that I had won so easily. "I'm not going to shake your hand… it's nothing personal, I just don't touch… anybody."

"Oh…" looking slightly put out, she strode back to her desk. "I've got a TM here for you, too… it's Retaliate. If one of your Pokémon meets an unfortunate fate, this attack becomes extremely powerful…" she sighed. "I've had Pokémon die on me, too, Layla. It's unfortunate, but sometimes it was purposeful on the part of my foe. Sometimes an eye for an eye is very appropriate."

"You didn't use this move against me," I said in a mix of disappointment and relief.

"The threat of Retaliation can be more potent than the promise," she said, pouring herself a new mug of tea. "I make sure it's common knowledge that I have this move, and I find I almost never have to use it. You heard about this move going into the fight, didn't you?"

"Only about three times," I replied. "Why do you think I switched to Brom when you brought out your second Pokémon?"

Lenora grinned. "Motivated AND talented… I like that." She took a sip of her tea, but the sound of a loud impact made her spill some down the front of her dress. "Honey!" she cried.

I looked behind myself. Curator Hawes had fallen down the stairs to Lenora's office. "I'm fine!" he yelled, rubbing a bruised temple. "But we need you, dear! Team Plasma is here, and they're threatening to steal some bones!"

"What the hell is this about?" Lenora slammed her tea down on her desk. "Layla, come on! Your Pokémon are still in shape to battle!"

* * *

><p>By the time we got to the museum proper, it was all but over. "We're letting you guys off easy this time, because you seem like decent folk," one of the Team Plasma grunts was saying, "but you guys had better learn the world is changing! People keeping Pokémon cruelly locked up in balls… that age is quickly coming to an end! Team Plasma, exeunt!"<p>

"Exeunt, well, isn't he highly educated," Lenora grumbled. "Who can tell me what they took?" she was already storming her way toward the front door, leaving me jogging to keep up.

"They took the skull off our Dragonite skeleton, ma'am," one of the aides explained, "as well as some antique weapons from the pre-Trainer era."

"Those weapons are dangerous!" Lenora roared. "And that skull's valuable! We can't let them get away!"

"Lenora loves that skull!" I heard Hawes cry from behind us.

"I love that skull!" Lenora echoed, racing through the door. I followed a few steps behind. "Damn! They're gone!" I blinked in the late-morning sun. Lenora was right. There wasn't a trace of the armored thieves.

"These guys are such a pain," I groaned. "They keep trying to steal Munnas, too."

"Hey, Lenora." We turned. A strange man with near-afro levels of bushy brown hair, equally bushy brown eyebrows, and big, droopy green eyes stood in front of us. He had on a skintight green T-shirt, red pants with black and green stripes, black socks, green shoes with red buckles, a red scarf, and a belt with a silver butterfly buckle – let me assure you as a disclaimer that this outfit was why I called him a strange man. His weird, breathy tone of voice didn't help either.

"Burgh! How're you doin', kid?" Lenora said, all smiles.

Burgh clasped his hands over his mouth and nose and shifted his eyes to the side. "The same. Find any cool rocks or bones lately?"

"Nah, nothin'. Layla, this is Burgh, and he may not look it, but he's the Castelia City gym leader. He's no pushover, lemme tell ya. Burgh, have you seen Team Plasma lately?"

"Oh, I know, those guys are so sweet." Lenora's eyebrow shot up again, and this time, mine did too. Burgh clasped and unclasped his hands. "Why, what's up?"

"What's up is some Team Plasma goons just walked off with an exhibit!" Lenora shouted.

"What's this about Team Plasma?" I turned. Bianca and Cheren were both here. They looked worried at the sound of Team Plasma, although I saw Bianca's eyes drift to my new badge and her smile light up accordingly. "They stole something from the museum now?" Cheren asked.

"Who're these kids?" Lenora asked suspiciously.

"They're with me," I said quickly. "They probably came to see how I did in the gym battle."

"Your friends, okay," Lenora said, rubbing her chin. "Trainers?" they nodded. "Good. Listen, I'm gonna go scope out Route 3 in case Plasma went that way. Cheren, Bianca, I want you two to guard the gym in case they double back. Burgh, do you think you could take Layla and search in Pinwheel Forest? That's their most likely location, but you guys are probably enough muscle to take care of them."

"Sure, I know the way." Burgh eyed me, shifting his bony shoulders. "Layla, huh? Fresh out of the Nacrene Gym, I see. Are you raring to round up some raunchy Team Plasma…" he paused, searching for a word. "…rapscallions?"

"Yeah, sure," I said. "I'll heal my Pokémon on the way. What does this stolen skull look like?"

"It's the size of a Herdier, with one small horn!" Lenora said, already running toward Route 3. "You can't miss it!"

* * *

><p>"So, who were your friends back there?" Burgh asked, trailing behind me and keeping pace with Edward. I had met up with the nurse again on the way into the deeper part of Pinwheel Forest, and she had happily healed my Pokémon and congratulated me on my second badge.<p>

"Oh, they're Bianca and Cheren. We've been friends since… Idunno. My memory only goes back to when I was five, but we were already three peas in a pod."

"That's sweet. Are any of you… **romantic**?"

"Us? No…" I paused. "I've seen Cheren look at me once or twice, and I've seen Bianca look at him, but I don't know if he's really interested in either of us. He's hard to figure out."

"He's got EVERYTHING," Burgh gushed, making me jump a little. "Mystery, brains, good bone structure, skinny jeans, and a lock of hair that goes whooOOOooo!"

"Are you going to hit on him?" I asked, faintly amused. I thought about telling Burgh we were sixteen, but then I decided not to. The possibility of watching the next gym leader Cheren fought hit on him was too good to pass up.

"Alright," Burgh said, noticing a fork in the road. "Listen, Team Plasma either took the main path, or went deeper into the forest… or maybe split up. Anyway, we should split up too… yesyesyesyesyes, I have it! I'll take the main road – it's full of trainers, but they won't stop me because I'm a gym leader. They'd stop you for battles. The forest has less trainers, but it has wild Pokémon. You'll go that way, and we'll meet up around where the paths rejoin, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." I was curious as to what kind of Pokémon lived around here, anyway. "You aren't heading off the path?"

"No, that violates the terms of the restraining order this hunky Pokémon Ranger has against me. Okay, toodles!" He took off down the path, brushing his hair back while he set his other hand on his hip.

"What a weirdo," I mumbled as I walked deeper into the forest. "I guess we shouldn't take normal gym leaders like Lenora for granted."

"Hey, maybe only the Normal-type gym leader is normal!" Tormod joked.

"Arceus, I hope not. Hey, is that a Team Plasma member?" I pointed at a tall lump of silver in a clearing that was still a couple of dozen yards ahead.

"Yeah," Rolf said, squinting. "He's just sitting there. He doesn't have a big skull with him."

"Well, let's pump him for information!" I charged forward. "Hey, what're you doing there?"

The Team Plasma member was indeed sitting on the ground, facing my direction. "I'm here to slow down any pursuers," he said with a grin. "Go, Sandile!" he sent out a Pokémon I hadn't seen before in person – a small, tan crocodile with black stripes and black markings around its eyes. It snapped at me and closed in.

"Brom, get this thing out of my face," I said, annoyed.

"Roger!" Brom delivered a Rock Smash that grounded the Sandile before you could say "Bite me."

"Mew dammit," the Team Plasma grunt swore. "I was hoping to hold you back more… the real reason I'm hanging back is because… well, I sprained my ankle on that tree root over there…"

"You guys are just made of failure, aren't you?" I teased.

"Whoo…" Brom said. "Listen, Layla, why don't you withdraw me? It seems clear you kids wanna run, and ha, I'm sorry… but I'm no good at that stuff."

"Yeah, sure," I said, glad I didn't have to ask.

"Pokémon-mistreating freak," the grunt mumbled as I ran on my way.

* * *

><p>"S… stay back! Team Plasma needs this skull!" the woman shouted.<p>

"No you don't," I replied. "It's a skull. Nobody needs it. We leave it on display in museums because it's cool and we hope it makes kids want to learn."

"Shut up! The seven sages have plans!"

"'Alas, poor Yorick,'" I quoted sarcastically, "'I knew him, Kadabra.' That's what people use skulls for. That's all. Now why don't you guys start acting like normal activists and stop stealing… honestly, I can't place any collective identifier on what you guys are stealing. Even 'stuff' seems inappropriate, that's demeaning to Munna."

"I don't have to sit here and listen to this!" The woman reached for her Pokéball.

"Get ready, Rolf," I said.

"Stop right there!" a shape dropped from the treetops to land between the Team Plasma woman and I. "I won't let you hurt this defenseless woman!" It was a stern-faced Sewaddle wrapped in silvery-grey leaves.

"I've got Pokémon, I'm fine," I said.

"I was talking about her!" the Sewaddle jerked its head back in the direction of the Team Plasma woman.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"No, you clearly intend to harm her!" the Sewaddle steeled itself in front of Rolf. "You've forced me to do this!" he let loose a blast of String Shot, pinning Rolf's forepaws to his sides.

"Ugh… come on, man, I was about to battle!" Rolf complained.

"This Pokémon clearly understands Team Plasma's calling!" the woman cried triumphantly. "Purrloin, help him out!"

"Wait, you're not defenseless at all," the Sewaddle realized, noting the newly deployed Purrloin.

"This is fucking ridiculous," I groaned. "Tormod, Arm Thrust the shit out of that Purrloin. Rolf, use Hypnosis on the Sewaddle."

"I will not be silenced," the Sewaddle protested. "I will force you to…" he trailed off, falling into a light doze. Meanwhile, the Purrloin only got off a single Sand-Attack before getting pummeled into the dust by Tormod.

"Aww, what is this bullshit?" the woman yelled. "The sages gave me a defective Pokémon!"

"I have no time for this shit," I mumbled, throwing a Net Ball at the Sewaddle. "Lady, it's called type advantage, look It up. Also look up Purrloins and you'll see that they're fragile as shit."

Met Zihark at Inner Pinwheel Forest!  
>Male Sewaddle, lv. 14.<br>Quiet nature, Swarm.  
>Quick tempered.<p>

* * *

><p>"I'd like to apologize for earlier," Zihark said from atop his new position atop my cap. "I acted hastily because I hadn't seen a human in days."<p>

"Have you gotten your fill yet?" I asked dryly. We'd fought a couple of confused Pokémon Rangers as well as another Team Plasma grunt since then.

"Yes. Thanks for letting me join my team. I'm on a mission, you see."

"A mission? Will it get in the way of my journey to become a Pokémon master?"

"I don't think so. My journey is to seek out cases of cruel Pokémon abusing humans, wherever they may be happening, and put a stop to them."

"Really?" Tormod asked. "Are you sure you don't mean the other way around?"

"No, I can't stand the idea of my own kind oppressing humans," the silvery Sewaddle explained.

"Why?" Edward chimed in.

Zihark blushed. "You wouldn't understand," he whispered.

"It's cool," I said. "I can understand it."

"Yeah, I could get behind that," Tormod said. "No human abuse! It's righteous."

"I like it," Rolf said.

"I don't get it at all," Edward sighed.

"Stop right there!" I looked up. Standing across a gigantic tree stump from me was another Team Plasma grunt.

"Alright," I sighed, "what kind of weak Pokémon will you be sending out?"

"None." Grinning, the grunt pulled out a large, tarnished blade on a leather-wrapped handle. I had seen one on the history channel once… and Hawes had pointed it out to me… right, it was called a sword. At first, I was merely confused, but then I remembered what they were for – enabling humans to fight Pokémon directly – and I swallowed nervously. "I see you know to respect this instrument," he chuckled. "I've done just as the Team Plasma doctrine states – I released my Pokémon. I defend myself now!" he held the blade in front of him. "Now, get back in the name of Team Plasma, or I shall strike you down!"

I gauged our chances. This was one of the largest members of Team Plasma I'd seen – his muscles bulged under his chain mail. The chain mail also complemented his sword, and I realized this was a man who could plow right through less powerful Pokémon if he had to. "Rolf, get out there," I said levelly.

"I can't believe you'd put a Pokémon in front of yourself!" the man bellowed. "Our king is right! People are so unworthy!" he took a threatening step towards me, ignoring Rolf altogether.

"Hypnosis?" Rolf suggested.

"Hypnosis," I confirmed. The rays from Rolf's eyes hit the Plasma swordsman as he leapt over the Watchog, sword extended. I dove out of the way, pressing Zihark against my hat so neither would come loose, and watched the grunt careen over the edge of the tree stump as he rapidly lost consciousness. "Okay, let's get out of here before he wakes up, I don't want to have to do this again."

"That was kind of upsetting," Zihark admitted. "Are all humans this crazy?"

"Most of them," I replied optimistically. "But that's part of our charm." Zihark peered down past the bill of my cap and looked at me strangely.

* * *

><p>"I should've known I wouldn't get through a day without seeing you," I said.<p>

**"Hello. My name is Audino Montoya. You killed my best friend. Prepare to die."**

"Give it a rest already!" I moaned. Montoya was impassive.

"Who is this guy?" Zihark asked.

"He's some mysterious figure from my past, he blames me for something I choose not to reveal that he's too melodramatic to explain, he killed one of my Pokémon two days ago, I'm not half as bad as he makes me out to be, and I'll explain why he hates me some other time. For now, let's knock him out so we can keep going! Now, Tackle him, Zihark!"

"Oh. Alright." Zihark leapt off my hat and crashed into Montoya's chest, but at his size it didn't have much impact. Montoya responded with his usual Doubleslaps.

**"It is not too late for you, child. Forsake her… and I will spare you."**

"Bug Bite!" I called, trying to shut Montoya's words out. Zihark leapt past the Audino, grabbing the Oran Berry from his grip and devouring it.

Montoya growled and shook off the hand that had held his berry, which Zihark's fangs had nicked. **"You cannot hope to match me in combat. A Pidove has already fallen. He had the same confident look in his eyes as you."**

"No…" Zihark replied, firing off a Razor Leaf that cut into Montoya's shoulder. "I will overcome you. You may think your goal is noble, but you're just a sad bully. I KNOW my goal is the right thing to do, and to accomplish it, I need to learn how to defeat Pokémon just like you." He fired off another Razor Leaf as his foe closed in for the Doubleslap, and this one hit home. It left a deep gash across the right side of Montoya's neck, which immediately began to leak glittering, crackling red blood onto his fur. Zihark and I sucked in a breath in unison. My guess was that Zihark hadn't meant to use lethal force.

Montoya groaned and stumbled sideways, leaning against a tree. **"You've cut a major vein… do you think that makes you brave, or clever, or strong? Do you think that makes you better? Does this cut make your goals better than mine?" **He stopped talking to gasp for air.

"I didn't mean to cut you so badly," Zihark said, "but you were a threat, and I do not regret the actions I took to defend myself." Then he gasped again as his body started glowing. The rest of the team and I watched in awe as fallen leaves around Zihark surrounded and enveloped him. When the light faded, the leaves were all silver, as his previous wrappings had been, and two of them stuck up from above his head in a V-shape. He was slightly larger and his face was grimmer, and he was enveloped almost completely by the leaves. "I would've preferred sharper blades," he said, "but this armor is appreciated."

Zihark evolved into Swadloon!

"Looks nice, Zihark," I said. I looked up at Montoya. "So is this it for you?" This was cold, even for me, and I hated myself for being so short with him, but he had killed one of my Pokémon to prove a point. I cannot drive home enough how little sympathy I felt for him at the time.

** "It's not so simple…" ** Montoya fell to his knees, but then red lightning began to spark from the wound on his neck. Zihark flinched back as his wounds began to close, all of them glowing with the same red electrical energy. In a few seconds, it was over. Montoya was unharmed but exhausted and panting, his body speckled with drying blood. **"I have changed since you first knew me. Dark forces have given me the ability to follow you to the ends of the Earth!"**

"Fuuuck…" I groaned.

"What? What was that?" Tormod asked.

"I'm no scientist," Edward grumbled, "but it looked to me like BULLSHIT."

"It looked like Regenerator," I said, looking at the ground in thought. "Some Audino have that ability… but it triggers when they're switched out in battle… I don't think scientists know how it triggers in the wild, but it's certainly not when they're mortally wounded…"

"Layla, look out!" Tormod cried.

"Hm?" I looked up in time to see an Audino's paw crash into my face. I fell flat on my back, clutching my nose. "Rrrrrr-FUCK! That fucking HURTS! What was that, Pound? It felt like Mega Punch!"

**"I will fight as long as it takes to bring you down,"** Montoya said, flexing his fingers. He meant it, too. **"You're beginning to look more like yourself again."**

I scowled, feeling blood drip onto my shirt as Tormod helped me to my feet. "Zihark, your talents are not the way to stop him. Rolf, Confuse Ray."

"Right!" Rolf leapt forward and waggled his fingers as his eyes shot disorienting pulses of light. Montoya flinched away, growling.

**"Little bastard,"** he snapped, throwing a Doubleslap Rolf's way. He ended up bruising his hands Doubleslapping a tree stump instead.

"Hypnoziz!" I sounded ridiculous with my nose like this. I rubbed it and winced. It was sore, but not broken, thankfully. Rolf still understood well enough; it took a few blasts of Hypnosis to bring Montoya down, but he was too confused and tired to hurt Rolf before then. Eventually, he collapsed to the ground, his breathing evening out. "Whad happened do you?" I asked, sadly. I threw a Pokéball, intending to box him so he wouldn't come after me anymore, but it bounced off him without opening. I recognized that error – Montoya was not a wild Pokémon. A trainer had once owned him, and he had not been formally released. I sighed. "I'll azk you myself – zum udder dime." I blew my nose and led the team away.

"Layla, you look… well…" Tormod said reluctantly.

"Jeez! Id'z juzd a fugging bloody doze!"

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I no-miss-cleared Lenora. She didn't use Retaliate... after her Herdier went down, she use Leer on Brom like three times and then went for a Crunch... bringing him down to 2 HP! (Thanks, Sturdy, but I didn't need you!) However, Brom had dropped her defense the turn before, and he nailed her with a 4-hit, 1-crit Rock Blast. Watchog went down like a ton of bricks.<strong>

**I'd like to apologize for Lenora's normality... it's clearly a result of positive discrimination. I wanted to make her so sassy it would've made your head spin, but my inner censor told me that wasn't okay because I am a white guy. Instead she has to be boringly competent and cool-headed. To make up for it, I have given you your first taste of the majesty that is Burgh. He will continue to spread wonder through the next two chapters whenever he's in the scene. Burgh's based on a character form a show... feel free to guess for now, I'll reveal who he is next chapter.**

**Montoya revelations! Who owned him? Where did he pick up a hacked version of Regenerator? All this and more will be answered, but not until far down the line, so feel free to guess. There's also plenty of hints regarding Layla around here, too, although you probably won't notice them unless you know what you're looking for.**

**Zihark is boss. That is all. Which reminds me to clarify something about the rules: I consider different areas within the same dungeon to be different regions if the wild Pokemon content changes SIGNIFICANTLY - by which I mean whole new Pokemon showing up on the list, not just percentage tweaks. Outer and Inner Pinwheel Forest have a completely different list of wild Pokemon, sharing only Pidove and Audino.**

**Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke  
>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<br>Layla (c) me**


	8. Stolen Goods and Drugs

****In this chapter, Layla tracks down the stolen dragon skull, fucks up her truce with her mother, catches a Pokemon on the sandy Route 4, and agrees to take Fantasy Acid.****

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 8: Stolen Goods and Drugs**

I did clean myself up before moving on, although that wasn't what Tormod meant by his words. I' a savage, after all… mostly, though, I didn't want the next Team Plasma soldier to mistakenly think one of his friends had put up a fight.

As luck would have it, I found said Team Plasma soldier just a hundred paces, a trip through a giant hollow log, and a clearing later, and he was the one with the skull. In fact, he was sitting on the ground, leaning against the skull, _reading a newspaper_. And here I was worried that they were going to escape. **Magnate Gym Leader Donates ½ Billion to Charities,** read the main headline. I made out other headlines ("Freak Gale Damages Bridges," "Gym Challenge System Leads to Untimely Deaths, Low Test Scores") before the Plasma man noticed me and lowered the paper. "Hey, have you seen Gorm?" he asked me.

"I… don't know who that is," I said. Meeting Montoya normally left me angry, but the end of our last fight just made me confused. I was prepared to wait this guy out until Burgh arrived… not that he seemed too reliable.

"Gorm? Wears a blue-lined robe and a furry little hat? He's kind of Sagely? Quotes Sun Tzu a lot? Blue eyes? He's kind of a big deal…" the Plasma grunt trailed off. "Hang on, you're not with us."

"Yeah. I'm not wearing armor or anything."

"Yeah, but you've got the red hair, I thought you were just out of uniform." He shrugged. "We're never supposed to be, but it would've been cool with me. So… what happened to the others? Weren't they holding somebody off?"

"They weren't very good at that, considering I'm in front of you."

"Ohhhhhhhh…" the man looked sadly back down at his newspaper. He threw it aside. "Fuck it, they don't have any good comics since they ended that one with the boy and his stuffed Raikou."

"Dude, you're old," I taunted. "They ended that before I was born."

"Yeah, well, you stink!" Actually, he stank, but I just waved Tormod forward for a battle. "Fine! I'll send out all my Pokémon at once! Go, Patrat, Patrat, and Sandile!" He sent his three Pokémon out, and they all tensed for battle.

"Brom, Zihark, back Tormod up!" I called.

"There's no way you can beat my Pokémon before… before…" he looked at his Pokémon, all lying flat on the ground.

Tormod withdrew a steaming hoof. Brom staggered back from the force of his own blow, a Rock Smash that left the Patrat in question six inches into the ground. Zihark let his leaf cloak flutter back into place, a bloody leaf embedded in the tree stump across the clearing. "Before I finish your sentence?" I teased.

The man moaned and sat down. "Dammit…" he groaned. "Sending them all out at once made me lose faster! I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I'm not thinking so well today… I'm REALLY hung over. I had a few drinks earlier to get psyched up to steal this skull, and… well, it was a bit early for vodka." He was cradling his head in his hands. "I could barely read the words in that newspaper… I think I crapped my pants."

"You did," I said politely. "I can smell it. Look, if you need a blood alcohol level of seventy-five percent or whatever to do a Team Plasma mission, maybe it's not right for you."

He waved me away and clutched the skull to him like a teddy bear. "I'm sure it'll sound good again next time I talk to one of the Sages… they know what they're doing…"

"Indeed we do!" I looked up. From another part of the clearing marched an old, angry-looking man. He had a mostly-white beard and mustache, along with gunmetal-grey hair that had mostly deserted the top of his head. His skin was deeply lined, and his eyes were cold and blue. He was dressed just like the man the Grunt had described, so I could only assume he was Gorm. "What happened to you, soldier? You're a wreck. You even smell like defeat!"

"He had actually crapped himself before I fought him," I volunteered.

"That's just sad," Gorm snapped. "If I were you, I'd have shat my pants too, out of terror at how GODDAMN AWFUL I WAS!"

"I'm sorry," the Grunt muttered, flushing.

Gorm facepalmed. "Our King forbid the Seven Sages from exercising our own force except in the gravest of situations," he growled, "but as the good book says, 'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight, even if your master forbids it!" He drew a Pokéball from the folds of his robe. "You've got spunk, Trainer, but my Krookodile will straighten you out but good!" I swallowed. Krookodile was a fully evolved Pokémon, and a brutally tough one. It could conceivably kill me and my whole team.

"I think the fresh meat's done enough, sunshine." Gorm and I looked up. Burgh was sitting on a tree branch. A high tree branch, twenty-five feet above the ground bare minimum. "If it's a battle you want, Castelia's hottest trainer is right here."

"Or maybe you don't want a battle at all, hun." I looked over my shoulder. Lenora was approaching from behind me. "Gym Leaders can be tough cookies, especially when you're not challenging them as part of the normal system."

"You know what, fine," Gorm snapped. "You can have the skull."

"They can?" the Plasma grunt asked. "You know you and Rood had us steal this from a museum."

"I will not speak ill of Rood," Gorm said in a way that suggested he really wanted to, "but he was misinformed. This Dragon Skull is totally unrelated to the Legendary Pokémon we're searching for." He frowned at me, putting away his Pokéball. "A trainer is an inconvenience, but two Gym Leaders are a major incident. I'd like to fix you good, but I'm under orders, you see."

"So you're not in charge, then?" Lenora asked.

"I am hardly the most important of the Seven Sages, and of course our King has the final say in all matters." Gorm bowed to Lenora and Burgh curtly. "If Ghetsis were here, he would explain our goals so perfectly that you would all be swayed by his words alone to release your Pokémon, but I'm not gifted with his eloquence. I'm a man of action… and this is no time for action."

"Coward," I muttered.

"I pick my battles," Gorm said with a grim smile. "The Good Book says, 'know yourself, know your enemies, and you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.' So goodbye, Lenora the Normal-type user, Burgh the Bug-type user…" his eyes lingered on me. "…Layla of Nuvema Town. Next time I will bring sufficient force that even Gym Leaders should reconsider attacks on us." He led the Grunt away.

I grabbed the skull. "What took you?" I asked Burgh as he jumped down. He rolled to his feet, making me jump back as he came up inside my comfort zone.

"I've been in those trees for fifteen minutes after beating up some Plasma goons," Burgh bragged. "What took _you_?"

"The skull's not damaged, is it?" Lenora asked impatiently.

"Huh? No, it's fine." I handed it to her.

"Thank Arceus. That skeleton's our big moneymaker. It pulls in thousands annually all by itself." Lenora looked at Burgh. "Are you going to chase them?"

Burgh shook his head, brushing his hair back afterward with one hand. "No, they'll get, like, all jittery. I don't wanna see what happens if we corner that Gorm guy… (he'll probably take his shirt off)." He stretched. "I'm gonna head back to the city and paint. Lenora, why don't you bring your hunky friend along and go carousing?"

Lenora shrugged. "You should go on, Layla. There will be tougher opponents around the city. You could use some practice before you go after Burgh for your third badge."

"Right," I agreed. "I'll see you there, Burgh… and I'm sure Cheren will be on his way into the city soon with or without your permission." Burgh, who was already walking off, made an excited squealing sound. I turned back to Lenora, who was hefting the skull under one arm. "Lenora, can I have a word?"

"Sure, honey. But first…" she fished in her pocket with a free hand and extracted a crystalline, purple-grey stone about the size of a glue stick. "You went above and beyond to help my Gym, putting yourself in danger. In addition to the standard stuff, I want to give you this Moon Stone. It'll evolve some Pokémon, including Munna."

"Thanks, but…" I fondled the stone in my hands, tracing lines in it with my nails. "Did you hold back when you were fighting me? I'm glad I got the badge without anybody in my pack dying, but I wouldn't want to think I hadn't earned it…"

Lenora grinned. "You're a sweet kid. You know, Gym Leaders rarely fight at full strength. I learn about my opponent, and I fight them at a level that gives them a difficult, but surmountable, challenge. If you were doing your best and your team was performing well, it's only natural that you beat me 2-0. That's what a good Gym Leader is supposed to do – challenge the trainers." I thought back to Cilan and his brothers. Was all that just to challenge me? "I've got to get this back to the Museum before my husband has a coronary. You should go enjoy Castelia… and be sure to check out the Gym when you feel ready. Burgh must've liked what he saw during your battle. He was hiding it, but he's eager to battle you. Take care of yourself! And warn everybody about my Retaliate!"

I laughed. "Ditto. I want everybody to fear my Retaliate, too!" It was nice to know that there were some people who were just… competent.

* * *

><p>Many uneventful battles later…<p>

"Wow." Tormod said.

"I can barely see the other end," Rolf observed.

"Us Pokémon can move mountains, but this… is the power of humans," Zihark remarked.

"It's a pretty spectacular piece of scenery," I admitted. "Come on, I want to get to Castelia by sundown so we can find the Pokémon Center."

The pack and I were almost the only people on the pedestrian walkway, and it really was a long walk, so once the conversation dried up, things started to get dull. "I'm going to call my mom on the Xtransceiver," I explained, dialing her number.

"I've been meaning to ask about you and her, actually," Edward said.

"Later," I hissed. "It's ringing… hey," I said awkwardly when I saw her face on the screen.

"Layla…" she smiled thinly. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," I said. "I've… had some deaths on my team…"

"Sweetie, that's awful!"

"…but I had a good talk with Nacrene City's Gym Leader. She helped me decide to keep going."

"Okay…" she bit her lip for a second. "Layla, you know the door's still open if you ever need to come home."

"Thanks, but… I've got to keep going. How are you doing, mom? You look stressed. Why don't you take a vacation?"

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I talked to your father last night – early evening for him, of course." Good old mom. Denial and deflection – we're just a family of liars, aren't we?

"How's Orre treating him?" I asked, a little colder than I meant to.

"Layla, you know he loves you and he wants to come home, but travel in and out of Orre is… difficult. Besides, terraforming takes a long time, but he knows how to work the machinery and he supports our lifestyle."

"There are jobs in Unova that pay," I protested, "or at least there were plenty when he left."

"He was overjoyed to hear that you had gone on a Pokémon journey," she pressed. "He was almost in tears. You know he loves us."

"Sure, Martin _loves_ us," I said, "but I'm not going to wait around my whole life like Penelope for him to come home!"

"I wish you'd at least call him 'dad' like you used to!" my mother shot back.

"M-mom, it's been TWELVE YEARS. I didn't remember what he looked like for years before they got videophones in Orre. I don't even know him as anything other than a voice, a moving picture and a trust fund!"

"YOU!" My mother yelled, tears in her eyes. She looked like she was going to continue, but she cut the call instead. I raged wordlessly and barely restrained myself from throwing the Xtransceiver off the road.

I turned to Edward. "It's complicated, okay?" I snapped.

* * *

><p>Castelia City was… well, it was a grand location, for sure. I mean, it sure is huge. And the shadows stretch long. Which is nice, but it was summer, and despite all the shade it managed to be grotesquely hot. And it stank like a pile of dead Garbodor. It was the most crowded place I'd ever been, bar none, and while some of the citizens were friendly, others were… pushy. Not a great environment for a girl with a good and difficult-to-explain reason for not wanting to be touched. I mean, there was plenty to love about the place. I just… managed not to love it. It's not like I was scared. It's just intimidating, you know?<p>

"The Big Cherubi," Bianca sighed happily. "I haven't been here in forever."

"I came here with my mom eight months ago," Cheren replied. "How about you, Layla?" They had called me on the XTransceiver as I was eating dinner, making me glad I had resisted throwing it away. I hung out at the Pokémon center while they picked up a meal for themselves, and then they tried (and failed) to pick us up some Castelia Cones (they apparently sell out early every day). So I had gone to bed intimidated and disappointed thanks to the city.

"This is actually my first time out of the southern island of Unova," I admitted. Bianca gasped.

"I thought your family vacationed to Opelucid when you were a kid," Cheren said.

"I was like three, that doesn't count," I replied. "You guys go have fun, I'm gonna take the north exit out of town and grab a wild Pokémon."

"You're not coming with me to go shopping?" Bianca asked.

"Sorry…" I shrugged. "I'm not really… comfortable with the city yet."

"It was tough for me the first time too," Cheren acknowledged. "But you've gotta get over it, right? I'm gonna go challenge the Gym here."

I remembered Burgh and his reaction to Cheren. "I talked to the Gym Leader, Cheren, and he said he's _very_ interested in meeting you."

"Why shouldn't he be?" Cheren asked rhetorically, his ego swelling. "I will be champion one day soon, after all." I snickered. Cheren had no idea what Burgh had in store for him. I hoped it was consensual.

* * *

><p>"Okay, I know I don't like the city, but FUCK. THIS. SHIT." The city at least had a good balance of light and shadow to it. Some people find the shadows scary, but I was always most comfortable with some darkness. The desert… there was what a Pokémon Ranger had told me was a 'light sandstorm condition' going on, which meant blowing sand that left the area bright without really letting me figure out where the sun was in the sky. The sand irritated my eyes and my (sore) nose, and my mouth if I opened it. It was also getting inside my clothes, which sucked. Royally. "Let's get a Pokémon to round out the team and head back into the city." I marched a bit deeper along the road (which I could just barely see), holding my hand over my lower face.<p>

"We should get a Pokémon that knows the desert for when we have to cross it later," Brom said. The sand didn't seem to bother him, but then, Brom could get hit by a semi truck and wouldn't be all that bothered.

"I'm actually liking this sand," Edward said. "It just slides right off my coat. Brom, how about we lead the group through the desert later?"

"You guys do that," Tormod said. "And instead, we can find a Pokémon who knows his way around the city, since none of us are comfortable there!"

I sneezed out some sand, and at least a little dried blood. "I don't think wild Pokémon live in the city, guys, except maybe some mean Patrats. And if they do, I doubt we'll find them out here in the desert."

"Oho! Did somebody call for a city rat?" I froze and looked up. A sand dune had formed a ridge to the left of me, and a Scraggy was staring down at us. The reptilian Pokémon had two layers of scaly skin – a torn, loose yellow one that hung baggily on his legs, tail, and face, and a lighter, newer cream-colored layer that was exposed from his belly up to his lower lip. He had red belly scutes, a blunt red spine sitting high on the back of his skull, and a stupid grin that prominently displayed a missing tooth. "What a coincidence, yeah? I'm looking for a Trainer! My old gang broke up not long ago…"

"You just… want to join us?" I asked. I'll admit it. I was suspicious. He was a Dark-type and Dark-types get a bad rap, but they do have a rather high number of thieves, liars, and thugs. I was worried he would pull some serious Wutai theft on us – do you blame me?

"Yeah, sure! I'm a world-class future Scrafty! All the little trainers, yeah? They get too big for their diapers and want to fight, but I leave 'em quaking in fear! They can't take the world-class!" He blinked and rubbed his chin. "Actually, I'd better battle you first in case you're still in diapers."

I squinted at him. His body already had some little scratches – his scales weren't suited to the sandstorm. "Sure, I'll throw down. Edward, get in there and Tackle his ass!" Edward didn't need to be told twice, and he certainly didn't need pleasantries like letting the 'future Scrafty' get a word in edgewise. A single Tackle laid the lizard flat.

"Hey, that was really good!" The Scraggy popped right back up onto his feet. "You're amazing, dog! I like the cut of your jib!" He got up, rubbing his shoulder, and began to walk over to Edward, holding up his shed skin 'pants' with one hand.

"Well, not everybody has what it takes to cross paws with Edward THE GIANTSLAYER," Edward bragged.

"You're not kidding. Hey, Eddie, you mind if I shake your paw?" The Dark-type held out a hand.

"I'm honored that you- UGH!" The Scraggy grabbed Edward's front paw and kicked him in the ribs.

"Pay attention, kid, we're fighting!" The Scraggy laughed and jumped back. "Round these parts, we call that a Faint Attack!"

"Edward, don't let your guard down! Tackle him again!"

"Rrrr…right!" Edward slammed a shoulder across the Scraggy's face. "Yeah! I feel really good in this Sandstorm, Layla! Like, really fast!"

This time the wild Scraggy went down with a yell. "Ah! You son of a bitch! You knocked out my tooth!" He got up on his hands and knees, and I could see that he was indeed missing another tooth. He was shuffling around in the dirt for it. "Help me find it!"

"Ummm…" Edward looked at me and gave a quadrupedal shrug. "Okay… he walked carefully over to the Scraggy, but he didn't pay Edward any attention, just scrabbling around in the sand. "Hey, I think I see it here behind you…"

"Where?" One of the Scraggy's eyes looked lazily back over his shoulder. I noticed he had crazy peripheral vision.

"It's under your tail," Edward said. "Move it for a second."

"Sure, bud, yeah." The Scraggy's tail lifted up… and slammed down on Edward's head. "Faint Attack again, muthafucka!" He flicked the tooth into the air with his tail, stood up, caught it, and reinserted it into his mouth. "These grow back eventually, but until then I thought I'd see if I could fool some idiot with this trick. It works, so you know… another for the book! Yeah!"

"How'd you like me to knock out the rest of those teeth?" Edward threatened.

"Whaaaaaat? Haters gonna hate!" The Dark and Fighting-type crossed his arms and strutted absurdly.

"You know what? I think it's bedtime for this guy," I said.

Edward huffed. "You're right. Screw this. Rolf, deal with it."

"Right…" Rolf stepped up to face the Scraggy, who began walking towards him. "Stay back, you!"

"Hey, no worries, buddy," the Scraggy said soothingly. "I'm not gonna hitcha. Watch my arms, yeah? Watch my legs, my tail, whatever. I ain't gonna punch or kick or slam or generally Faint Attack you." He came up nice and close… and slammed his forehead against Rolf's. "No, that was a Headbutt! Ahhhh ha ha haaaa…." He wiped a tear from his eye. "The look on your face, buddy!"

"Rolf, Hypnosis!" I yelled. Rolf rubbed his head and nodded, blasting the wild lizard.

"Yes, master…" he said. Then he turned around and dropped his 'pants' to moon us. "Or NOT! I'm a Dark-type! Did you guys forget to do your homework?"

I heard Rolf grinding his teeth together. I had to end this before one of my boys killed him. Wordlessly, I pulled a Great Ball and threw it. He tried to dodge, but with his 'pants' down he only tripped and fell. "No fair!" he moaned as he was sucked into the Ball.

Met Largo at Route 4!  
>Male Scraggy, lv. 17.<br>Bold Nature, Moxie.  
>Somewhat vain.<p>

* * *

><p>Within a half an hour, we had gotten ourselves patched up at the Pokémon center, Largo had been pressured into some apologies (although Edward didn't forgive him), and he had led us out into the city. "No worries, shorty," he said to me, picking up a discarded toothpick from outside a restaurant stall that gave free samples. "I know a Musharna around here somewhere." He stuck the toothpick in his mouth and wiggled it. "And his trainer supplies all kinds of stuff to relax both people and Pokémon."<p>

"Don't call me shorty," I replied.

"How about sweetheart, yeah?" I shook my head, and he grunted. "Uh… girlfriend, pretty young thang, senorita, fraulein…"

"I'm your trainer," I said. "Call me Layla."

"Fine…" he said. "Man, your team's a total sausage fest, Layla. And I don't just mean the guy they make sausage out of – you're alright, Terry!"

"Tormod," my starter Pokémon replied coolly.

"Yeah, sorry."

"You know, the last Dark-type I caught complained about that too," I said with a sigh. "She was a female Purrloin, though."

"Oh, really?" Largo raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "Can I meet her?"

"There was an accident…" I said. "I don't wanna talk about it right now."

Largo turned around and stared at me while he led us backwards down an alleyway. "I get it… you guys have lost a few, yeah? Well, you don't need to worry about me, I mean, I'm no giantslayer…" he chuckled. "But I am world class. Here we are!" I looked up. Huge green graffiti had been sprayed across a brick wall. It read "HARMAN PHARMACY." Underneath was a middle-aged man with long green hair that had started to streak silver. He was wearing torn, baggy clothes and relaxing with a hand-rolled cigarette in his hand, sitting in a ratty old recliner covered in Christmas lights. A Musharna bobbed and tumbled in the air next to him. "Hey, Bollo, how's Harman doing?" Largo asked.

"…Corinthian…" Bollo the Musharna mumbled.

The man laughed. "Don't mind Bollo. You here for business?"

"Uhh… yeah…" I shrugged nervously. "My new Pokémon here told me you'd have something to help me with stress?"

"I remember him…" the man (Harman?) peered down. "Take care of this guy, will you? All his little buddies got caught recently, too, so he's been stuck on his own." He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket. "You promise to be a good trainer to this dude and I'll give you a free sample."

"Hang on…" I said. "I don't want anything that'll mess me up to badly, okay? Don't give me anything you wouldn't give a Pokémon."

"Hey, I wouldn't start you off with anything too crazy," Harman said, still rummaging. "Gimme some credit. Here." He took a white piece of paper from his pocket, tore it in half, then tore it in half again and flicked the nickel-sized remainder at me. I caught it out of the air. "Stick that under your tongue and won't nothing trouble you between now and dinner. It's safe for Pokémon, too. Your Scraggy there's tried it. Bollo here is on it now."

"I can imagine EVERYTHING," Bollo said.

"He's on a much larger dose than I gave you," Harman said hastily. "You want anything for your team while you're here?"

"I'm good," Largo said.

"Yeah, not my thing," Edward said, shaking his head.

"Maybe another day," Tormod said nervously.

"Agreed." Zihark wrapped his leaves around himself. "I'm not in the mood."

"Somebody's gonna hafta watch out for you while you're on it," Brom said.

Rolf shrugged. "I think I'll have fun just watching."

"We're good for now," I assured him.

"S'coo," Harman said, picking up a fisherman's hat from next to his chair and sliding it down over his face. "You'll be back."

I turned and marched out of the alley, and towards one of Castelia City's busiest streets. "He said you tried this stuff, right, Largo?"

"Trust me, you'll have a good time." He narrowed his eyes at me. "And you're not having it now, yeah?" He was right. My shoulders were tense. I was starting to give myself a neckache. Despite all my rationalizing, I wasn't comfortable in the city, and I wasn't going to be at this rate.

"Here goes nothing," I said, placing the square of paper under my tongue.

* * *

><p><strong>That Team Plasma Grunt is just pathetic. Level 14s? At that point? Just insulting.<strong>

**All the Sages besides Ghetsis are kind of flat. I could probably have cut them, but I do like the idea of an actual leadership structure in Plasma. So I added some character by basing them visually on actors/comedians I like and personality-wise on characters played by them. Rood, who we saw very briefly in Chapter 6, is based on Lewis Black, and Gorm here is based on Rip Torn. I also played up Gorm's Sun Tzu deal.**

**Since Gorm's biggest role is this part of the story, I thought I'd give you a Rip Torn factoid: he's a crazy fucking badass in real life, too. He's 80 and still acting - or he would be if he wasn't wrapped up in legal trouble from breaking into a closed bank with a gun in early 2010. He was apparently really drunk and thought it was his house. Dennis Hopper also said on a talk show that Torn pulled a knife on him on a movie set once, but Rip sued for libel and won (and won the appeal), saying that Hopper was the one who had drawn a knife.**

**I really like writing Largo. I hope he doesn't die, he's really fun and a good Pokemon. I'm also glad I got him (20 percent chance!), I had a Sandile last time I played through Black, and Darumaka would be pretty redundant next to a Tepig (although I like Darumaka in general). On a related note, other Pokemon on my 'wild Pokemon wishlist' include Axew, Sigilyph, and Golett. A decent Electric-type could be good, too.**

**Drug time! I think I'm the first Nuzlocker to get their main character high, but feel free to correct me. Is this going to be an awesome fun-fueled trip, or will something horrible happen? Find out next time!**

**Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke  
>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<br>Layla (c) me**


	9. Spirit Animal

**Welcome to the chapter powered by acid a drug that only exists in the Pokemon world! Made from Sigilyph tears!**

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 9: Spirit Animal**

Tormod looked at me. "So?"

I shrugged. "I don't feel any different."

"I'm not surprised," Largo said. He was picking his nose with the same degree of spirit and ferociousness with which I go after a half-rack of barbecued ribs. "It kicks in real slow-like, yeah? Yeah. You won't know you're high until it's over."

"Whatever, man." I stopped to watch a green-clad breakdancer by the town fountain. As my Pokémon and I looked on, he bent back like a tree's leaf reaching for the sun, then planted his palm on the ground and spun like the same leaf in a hurricane. "This guy's pretty good…"

"Yeah, he's world-class," Largo agreed.

"You like my work, Mon?" The dancer stopped himself and leapt to his feet. "You'd like it better if I had some brothers to dance with, then I could really put on a show. You look like one-a those wandering trainers, am I right?"

"That's right," I nodded.

"If you help me put this show together, I got something would be more useful to you. Sounds good?"

"Sounds good," I echoed. I was getting afraid that once I was high, he wouldn't be able to understand what I said, so I clung to the last words out of his mouth to anchor my speech in firm English. Or maybe I was only afraid of that because I was already high.

"Let's seal the deal the trainer way, with a battle!" he said excitedly. "Go, Pansage!" He sent out one of those monkeys. Those fucking monkey spies. One of the leafy ones.

"Okay, Largo, let's see what you can do!" I waved him forward with one hand, rubbing my eye with another. Was I high yet? Or was everything as it appeared. I was getting paranoid; wasn't this drug supposed to cause relaxation? Or was I paranoid because I was afraid of the crowds of the city, and the drug hadn't kicked in yet? "Faint Attack at the first opportunity!" Largo marched proudly forward, sucking on his finger. He pulled it out, preened the spine on his head, and grinned.

"Vine Whip, 'mon!" Largo charged forward, evidently trying to outrace the Pansage, but it slammed him across the face with a Vine. He blocked part of it with his arm, staggered, caught himself, and continued his charge – only to trip over his 'pants' and fall just short of the Pansage. The breakdancer started to laugh, and his Pansage joined in with a shrill, shrieking cackle. I laughed too, but for different reasons. Largo could put on a good act.

Copying the moves we had seen the breakdancer use, Largo planted a hand on the concrete in front of him and pivoted his legs and tail around it. "Sneak Attack, mothafucka!" His tail caught the Pansage in the back of the knees and knocked it flat on its back, as Largo spun to his feet. "Try something with more 'oomph' next time!" he bragged, rubbing his cheek.

The breakdancer had that idea in mind, apparently. "Get in there with some Fury Swipes!" Without any further warning, that monkey was right on top of Largo, doing its best to tear open another layer of his skin.

"Largo, Brick Break!" I called. Largo kept his arms up and endured a few blows of Fury Swipes, but once he had the monkey in a pattern, he grabbed it by the wrist, stopping the attack on the fourth swipe.

"What's that?" Largo drawled out, exaggerating his words. "Bone Break, you said, yeah? You got it, chief." He turned back toward the ape, and I couldn't see his expression, but the monkey looked ready to shit bricks. Largo twisted the monkey's arm, and his other fist whipped out and up, smashing its elbow with a sick noise. "Welcome…

-?-

…to hell!" the red-clad breakdancer shouted, as his Pansear wiped the blood from its temple. "Pansear, light it up!" He did another of his fiery spins for emphasis. The Pansear used Ember again – but not on Brom; this time he used it on the dumpsters surrounding us. The combustible trash immediately began to burn, filling the area with heat, flickering light and choking, noxious smoke. "What do you say to that?"

"I say, 'Brom, Mud-slap!'"

"You don't have to tell me twice, Layla!" Brom kicked up a muddy puddle, spraying it across the burning monkey's face. The Pansear shrieked in irritation, leapt the distance to Brom in a bound, and latched onto his antenna with a Bite. Brom bellowed and tried to shake the monkey off; instead, it got some leverage against a dumpster and pulled Brom off the ground, shaking him around.

"My monkey's pretty strong, wouldn't you agree?" the dancer bragged.

"That's true," I said, "but your tactics need work. Brom tracks his opponent by hearing, so smoke and fire aren't going to help your Pokémon conceal itself much – in fact, they'll only make it harder for him to see. Now, Brom!" Brom shook himself loose and flew a few feet straight up. "Headbutt!" He dropped antenna-first onto the Pansear, slamming it against the ground with the force of a meteor impact… Well, sufficient force to dent a dumpster and K.O. the monkey, anyway. "Nice!"

"Alright," the dancer said sullenly, forking over my reward and withdrawing his Pokémon. "I'll go see what this ruckus is." He stalked off. I quickly proceeded in the other direction – the trash fire was getting overwhelmingly nasty and I didn't want to pass out from the stench (or get blamed for starting it).

I hadn't gotten thirty feet when an older man leapt out from behind another dumpster. He was wearing a trench coat and tennis shoes, and he had slicked-back hair and a seedy pencil mustache. "Hey kid, I got something right here for ya as a reward for your performance!" He tore his trench coat open.

"Oooh," Edward said. Under his trench coat, the man was wearing… nothing, exposing his bony, pale, slightly liver-spotted and generally unpleasant skin. Only the inexplicably-adhering disk of a TM protected his wedding tackle from the elements.

"This is TM70," the man explained helpfully. "It contains Flash, and it's really useful. Don't you want it?"

"There's no way I'm touching that," I said. I did NOT want my first non-glancing skin contact with a human in years to be this pervert's sixty-something wrinkly dick.

"I'll get it," Edward said with a mixture of eagerness and ferocity. He bared his fangs. "I've mostly grown out of it, but you know I'm the best there is at fetching."

I smiled sweetly at the man. "Did you hear that? My Herdier will fetch the TM from you. At fetching, he's simply the best there is."

The man winked at me, then simply pulled the TM loose and tossed it to me, leaving nothing to the imagination – even the darkness of the alley couldn't spare me, as the flames behind me illuminated him perfectly. I almost missed grabbing the TM, absorbed in my thoughts of bleaching out my eyes. He smiled at me. "And I'm the best there is…

-?-

…at massages!" the woman bragged, rubbing Zihark's shoulders. "You cannot hope to beat me in a rub-off!"

"A rub-off?" I asked incredulously. I watched her lovingly massage Zihark, trying her best to coax him out of the funk he'd been in since evolving. If anything, he looked lost in his memories. "You know what, never mind." I wandered into the elevator. It was so strange; it was like one particular button was lit up, as if begging me to press it. I obediently slammed on it, and the elevator shot upward. _Is this the drug?_ I wondered. _Or are all the other floors locked? I should try another floor and see if it works…_ just as I resolved to do that, the doors snapped open, and I stepped out, distracted.

"Then the little Zorua wandered deeper into the forest, not thinking about how she would get home," a boy said. He was about seven, and reading to a girl of about three who could have been his sister. I meandered over toward them. "But she wasn't worried, because the little Zorua had a special Pokémon power." He turned the page loudly, revealing an impressive pop-up of whirling smoke clouds circling a well-crafted cardboard Zorua. "The little Zorua, like many others of her kind, could forge lies into truth. She thought that with her power, she could fool everybody into giving her what she wanted, and even undo death. She thought that she could make everybody happy with her power."

"And she could, right?" the little girl asked, her green eyes sparkling.

The boy turned the page again, revealing that the smoke clouds had become a raging thunderstorm. "The little Zorua was wrong," he said sadly. "Her lies couldn't undo death; they only caused more people to die. The people she tried to make happy were sad." He turned the page again, revealing the thunderstorm had coalesced around a man dressed in white. "She talked to a strange man famous for speaking with Pokémon, but because she could only speak in lies, he misunderstood her." The boy took a deep breath. "He made all the people listen to him, but he didn't understand the problem, and he also could only make things even worse."

The little girl looked ready to bawl. "But when will things get better?" She saw me for the first time and started. The little boy looked over his shoulder and saw me as well. I realized I was practically reading over his shoulder and stepped back awkwardly. "Who're you?" the girl asked.

"Don't mind me," I said, smiling sadly. "This was my favorite story when I was young. It's just really, really beautiful." I sniffed.

The boy was blinking back tears as well. "Are you…

-?-

…going to cry now?" Zihark asked, his leaf cloak fluttering back into place. The breakdancer's Panpour was on the ground on its elbows and knees, clutching a deep cut in its side where Zihark had Razor Leafed it. "There is no shame in a warrior crying." He paused and sighed. "My mother cried over her weakness, but every day I ask myself for her strength."

"I just wanted to help my master put on a show," the Panpour gasped, "but I had barely let out the opening Water Sport when the battle was over! You have no idea how to entertain, do you?"

"Wow, you're quite the trainer!" The blue-clad dancer gave me a fluid bow. "You knew just what type I'd use, didn'cha? Alright, I'll go check out this scene by the fountain." He wandered off, leaving me wandering the piers. I saw a black boat with Team Plasma's emblem on the side, prompting a downshift in my mood; I irritably asked an attendant about it, but they didn't know anything.

"Well, what about the white boat next to it?" I asked, hovering somewhere between curious and belligerent.

"Oh, that's a ferry that takes passengers with special passes to Liberty Garden. It's not accepting guests right now, though. The Champion closed it personally last week, he said there was some sort of incident?"

I left, deciding to become disgusted that the attendant had spoken the statement as a question. How dare she? That was just plain obnoxious, and beyond that, the information she had given was unsatisfying!

"Excuse me," a man in a cheap suit asked me, "but I was wondering – do you have one of the Pan line of monkeys?"

"No," I said, "I don't like them. You should look for one of the local breakdancers, they seem to all have elemental monkeys."

The man shrugged. "This is actually us advertising to tourists. I'm with Shopping Mall Nine and – well, listen, I'm gonna give you an elemental stone absolutely free! What would you like, Fire, Water, or Grass?"

I shrugged. "I guess I'll take a Water Stone. What's it for?"

The man took a blue crystalline rock from his satchel and handed it to me. It reminded me of the Moon Stone Lenora had given me. "It evolves some Water-type Pokémon – Panpour's the only local one, but there are a bunch of foreign ones it works on." I stared into the stone. It sure was fascinating. "Hello? Hello? Arceus, she's been like this for ten minutes… ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Huh?" I looked up. "Hey, dude, do you have any idea where I can get foreign Pokémon?"

"I dunno. You could find foreign people and ask if they want to trade. Castelia gets tourists from out of the country. There's a big party with a bunch of them…

-?-

…right up the stairs," the pink-haired girl behind the desk said, staring directly at me. It was kind of unsettling. She wouldn't stop looking me up and down. "Foreign people. Right up the stairs. Not from around here. And up those stairs. Yeah."

"Oooooooooooookay!" I turned on my heel and marched toward the elevator, which was reasonable because I didn't see any stairs. Like, at all.

"Wait!" she called as I pressed the elevator call button.

"Yes, you've warned me about the stairs," I sighed. I wish somebody had warned me about her stares. Was she checking out my butt now? I turned around. She had a TM in her hand.

"I have to give you this." She threw it at me, and I caught it. It was Attract. "You're the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on."

I blushed and shrugged. "Thanks… you have nice hair." She passed out from the sheer ecstacy.

I hit the lit button on the elevator, and then I stepped into a chaotic mass of weaving people. I suddenly became very claustrophobic and attempted to step back into the elevator, only to be joined by a woman whose hair was plastered all over her face. She peeled it back and laughed.

"Hey," I said with a nod as the elevator carried us back down to the first floor. It was kind of crowded with my whole team of Pokémon out.

"Hallo!" she replied cheerily, her breath reeking of alcohol. "Ich bin eine Pokémon Koordinatorin. Ich heiβe Charlotte! Und du?"

It took me about thirty seconds to figure out what she had said from the words I understood. "Oh… I'm Layla… I'm a Pokémon… Pokémon trainer... rin?" Charlotte nodded in immediate understanding and offered me some beer that I guess she had just carried out of the party. "No thanks," I said. There was enough of something in my system already. "But I could go for…

-?-

…some Soda Pop?" the bartender shrugged. "Sorry, kid, we're out, but you do and your Pokémon do look thirsty. Here, you guys have some Lemonade on the house!"

I had some.

It was the best Lemonade.

In the history of the universe.

Ever.

For real.

I guess.

No, no, I'm sure.

"Are you okay, Layla?" Rolf asked. "You've been staring into that lemonade a long time. The rest of us are finished."

I downed the rest of it all at once. "Yeah, I'm good." But something else distracted me as I put the glass down. "Hey, have you guys ever…

-?-

…looked at your claws?" I asked.

"That'll be two hundred," the clerk replied.

"Huh?"

"Enjoy your Casteliacone!" He shoved it into my hand. It looked kind of like a Vanillish.

I couldn't read my money – the numbers would NOT stay still – so I just threw a handful of the larger coins at the clerk and staggered out of the line. "Ice cream…" I shoved it into my bag. "Later, maybe. So, do you guys have anywhere you want to go?"

Largo fingered our new Amulet Coin. "Let's go fight the Battle Company!" he suggested. "You guys seem really tough… together, we can win there!"

"What's the Battle Company?"

"It's this weird office where authority is decided by who the best Pokémon Trainer is."

"What's it an office of?"

"Arceus knows," Largo snapped, "it doesn't matter! Let's beat them up and take their money! And get stronger! A lot of trainers passing through clear a couple of floors of the Battle company as a warm-up for Burgh!"

"I don't know, do you think you can handle it?"

"Layla, I think I know what I'm doing…" Largo said with a gap-toothed grin.

"Alright, Largo…

-?-

…use Brick Break!"

"One order of Brat Break, no onions!" Largo dodged to the side, caught the charging Herdier by the fur, and swung it face-first into the wall. "Next time…

-?-

…you think of underestimating EDWARD THE GIANTSLAYER, think twice! If not more than twice!" Edward stood over an unconscious Munna. "I wouldn't want…

-?-

…ta hurtcha," Brom said kindly to a Swoobat embedded in a wall by one of his Rock Blasts, "but you were irritating me with all that flapping around. You didn't think…

-?-

…I'd play by your rules, did you?" Rolf said, setting the Basculin on each other with liberal use of Confuse Rays. "That's cute, but a Watchog can only get so far in this world if he's not playing to win. I won't mess you up too badly…

-?-

…but I'm not holding back after you wrecked everybody in my department!" the VP warned, sending out a full set of the elemental monkeys. I waved forward Zihark and Tormod. The latter immediately Tackled the Pansear, distracting it, while Zihark fired off a barrage of Razor Leaves. The Panpour immediately found itself pinned to a cubicle wall, but Pansage leapt on Zihark, biting at his protective leaves until they shredded in his paws.

Suddenly, Zihark began to glow, and a long, bladed arm shot up from the leaf pile, startling the Pansage. The other arm shot up and wrapped the monkey in a bear hug. Zihark finally shot up, the leaf coating torn apart to reveal his lean, armored body. "A guy could get used to this," he said, and bit down hard on the Pansage's leafy head.

Zihark classed up to Trueblade... er, evolved into Leavanny!

"I'm glad you're happy," Tormod said, tossing away the beaten Pansear, "But it's…

-?-

…not over… not yet." The janitor sent out his other Pokémon, a Minccino. "I have a confession to make… I'm actually the C.E.O. of Battle Company. I disguise myself as the janitor sometimes to make sure things are being run the way I –"

"So what do you guys do for a business?" I asked.

"Never you mind!" the man snapped. "Minccino, Fury Attack!"

"Tormod, Arm Thrust!" Tormod blocked the lashing tail attacks with his shoulder and set his hooves together, slamming them into the Normal-Type's stomach. The Minccino collapsed, a smoking, cross-shaped mark burned into his fur.

"That," said the old man, "was…

-?-

… totally wicked!" I cried out. "Look how much money we made! I bet we could take on Burgh tonight no problem! Hey, art!" I took a hard right into an art gallery. Rolf shouted something after me… I don't know, I wasn't really listening anymore. I looked around at the portraits and landscapes dotting the walls, rubbing my temples to try and stop them from spinning. I heard more babbling behind me. "Give me a minute, Rolf hey wait…" I stared at the man behind me. He was wearing a suit and clown makeup. Or maybe I was very, very high. "You're not Rolf… I'm sorry, sir, did you say something?"

"I asked if you like my paintings?" the man asked. His accent sounded like complete bullshit and was about the worst thing I'd ever had grate across my eardrums. I highly suspected it was fake.

"Oh, these are yours?" I asked.

"Of course!" he said. "This _is_ the Harlequin gallery!" Arceus, I wanted to strangle that accent right out of him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, of course!" I smiled toothily. "They're really nice… you have the most FASCINATING accent, where are you from?"

"I'm Hoennian." No you're not, you don't even know it's 'Hoennese.' "And you are a trainer, if I'm not mistaken. I get my inspiration from watching Pokémon… but I've been having trouble finding Dark-types around here. Do you have any?" I started laughing hysterically. It was about the funniest thing I had ever heard. I couldn't control myself. "Are… you okay?"

"Yeah…" I burst into another peal of laughter. "Right here, sir, I'm a perfect specimen, don't you think?"

"Excuse me?"

I drew myself up to my full height and grinned at him. "You don't recognize a Zoroark when you see one?"

The clown looked confused. "This is a joke?" he said, making his statements into questions with a spin of that ridiculous accent. "I don't get the reference?"

My Pokémon scooted round the corner – apparently they had lost track of me for a minute. "Layla, yer really not yerself," Brom said. "And you' been blankin' out all day. Let's getcha somewhere where you can rest yer head."

"Oh, hey!" Harlequin pointed at Largo, who looked confused for a second before giving a confident, gap-toothed grin. "A Dark-type! Would you mind if your Scraggy modeled for me while I take some photos for inspiration? I'll give you some rare Hoennian…" I gritted my teeth, trying not to scream… "berries in exchange! They're really helpful in battles!"

"I'll do modeling as long as it's not porn," Largo said, flexing his non-existent biceps. "The pants stay up! Well, mostly up. Up enough."

"Yeah, sure," I said to Harlequin.

"Excellent…" he offered me some berries from his jacket. "What would you like? I've got Pecha, Rawst, Cheri…"

"Hmm…

-?-

…I can't decide," I admitted.

"What the FUCK?" Tormod yelled, making half the team, myself included, jump about a foot in the air.

"Tormod, what the hell was that?" I asked angrily.

"Tormod's right, Layla," Rolf said.

"It was kind of funny…" Edward said, "and then it wasn't… and then it got hilarious… but now it's just sad."

"What are you talking about?" I asked angrily.

"Layla…" Zihark said gently, "You've been putting coins in a vending machine for _forty-five minutes."_

I swallowed, looked at the coin in my hand, and the maxed-out total on the vending machine display. "It's actually been the same coin for a little while now," Tormod grunted. "How thirsty are you, anyway?"

"Let's just get those drinks and get out of here," I grumbled. I stared at the machine. The text was still dancing. Frustrated, I pressed all three buttons with both hands and watched plastic bottles spill out of the machine and into my waiting bag until it was sold out of everything. I pushed the button to recover my change, but as the coins clinked into the lower slot… well, I admit I became distracted again. "Have you guys ever looked at your claws?" I said, staring at mine.

"Yes, Layla, you've already asked that," Tormod said impatiently.

"Yeah, but… I mean, REALLY looked at them?"

Tormod slapped his hoof to his eyes. "You've got to sober up, Layla. You look about ready to vomit."

"No way, I'm not…

-?-

…gonna vomit, I'm not gonna vomit, I'm not…" I threw up over the pier railing. "Okay, I feel better. Except for my throat." Suddenly, I realized that the crying that I had been hearing for the last ten minutes (fun fact: you're not actually supposed to follow the sound of somebody crying in a big city in case it's some kind of trap) was quite familiar to me. I turned. Bianca was crying over on the other side of the pier; a younger girl with medium-dark skin and singularly enormous hair was comforting her. "Bianca?" I made my way over to her side of the pier. "What's wrong?"

"Layla? Is that you?" Bianca looked up blearily at me. "Oh… how rude of me…" she sniffled. "Layla, this is Iris; Iris…" she stifled a sob, "…Layla."

I shook my head. "Introductions can wait, Bianca… what's wrong?" She only started bawling harder.

"Are _you_ okay?" Iris asked, her nose wrinkling. "I just saw your Pignite helping you to the pier so you could vomit… and you look kind of…" she gesticulated wildly, looking for the word... "blurry."

"I'm fine," I said. "Stop dodging the question, why the fuck is Bianca crying?"

"Team Plasma took MY Munna this time!" Bianca sobbed out.

"The grunt that took it could be anywhere in the city by now," Iris whispered to me. "She already called her friend Cheren, who told the local Gym Leader he was battling, but three, or four, or even five people aren't enough to search a city this big!"

"Don't worry," I assured her. "A guy in this city can run, but he can't hide. Not from me."

**My reviewers mostly seemed to think something bad would come out of the drugs. Well, Layla vomits at the end and there seem to be some gaps in her memory (and she goes around telling people she's a Zoroark, which is... kind of off), but it looks like the worst she got into was blunt force foreshadowing with those little kids and their storybook.**

**I somehow got it into my head that the proper way to illustrate the adventures in Castelia was with a drug-fueled montage, and this is the end result. I was all over that city, man. I hung out there long enough while my writing caught up that a massage every day lead to Zihark evolving at level 22. Even the stuff not mentioned in here happened, like the Eviolite - I just wasn't able to make it amusing.**

**That flasher, btw, is modeled after John Waters, a director who cameos as a flasher in his movie _Hairspray_ and who also appears in "The Creep" by The Lonely Island. Because he's a classic creeper.**

**I wish you could trade with those foreigners and get Gen I-IV Pokemon in-game. I mean, there's a Hiker with a Pikachu in another building! Come on! But no, you've gotta get a National Dex first.**

**Ha, Rolf, Tormod, and Brom are the responsible ones in the party. Mostly Rolf. Tormod only starts being responsible if he has to, and Brom is team dad by way of the hands-off father approach. Edward has a weak grasp on when things are bad ideas, Zihark is nice but a little self-absorbed, and Largo is... well, he probably thought the best thing was for Layla to see her trip through to the end.**

**Next chapter, Layla and Burgh team up to kick much Plasbutt and Layla starts the Gym challenge! Meanwhile, we find out what's going on up in Victini's pad and why the ferry's closed.**

**Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke**  
><strong>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<strong>  
><strong>Layla (c) me<strong>


	10. Ranting and Rave

**Shine a Light in the Darkness**

**Chapter 10: Ranting and Rave**

Edward and I led the rest of the team on the search, and we were on the trail in seconds. Dream Smoke has a distinctive odor, and a Herdier's strong nose has no trouble following a trail that's less than an hour cold. After a few minutes of traveling, I saw a pair of familiar faces. "Layla," Cheren greeted me as he and Burgh matched my stride (I was jogging at this point to keep up with Edward). "Bianca called me and told me what happened. Our Pokémon are pretty tired from the Gym challenge, but Burgh and I will do what we can to help."

"How was your Gym battle?" I asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.

Cheren groaned. "Not the mid-battle banter I expected." Burgh giggled. "When you battle him, Layla… check your sanity at the door, because you're going to go among mad people."

"Sounds fun!" Edward barked.

"Hey, slow down, Sparky!" Largo complained. "Brom doesn't do running, Tormod's mostly tumbling at this point, and my pants keep falling down!" I recalled that half of the party to their balls. Better to save their energy for Team Plasma.

"How about you?" I asked Burgh as Edward led us onto Gym Street. "How was the battle?"

"Cheren's no fun at all," Burgh complained. "And Burgh doesn't have a date tonight. Awwwwwww…" he gestured like he wanted us to join in.

I had to admit, it was infectious, and I couldn't help but "Awwww…." Along with him until Cheren gave me a dirty look. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Well, it's good that you're keeping your night open, Burgh, because I was thinking of challenging you after we foil Team Plasma. It won't take long, this is like the fourth time I've had to tangle with them in five days."

Burgh grinned with a sort of hunger. "Lucky lady! The Gym doesn't really get rocking until the moon rises! It has everything…"

"Burgh's gym reminded me of a fever dream I had once," Cheren chimed in.

Burgh looked appalled. "Did you just interrupt me when I was describing something?" he asked. "Because kid, I'll give you a sassing you can NEVER recover from!" I almost died laughing.

"They've got some nerve," Cheren remarked.

"How do they put on their pants with cojones this big?" I wondered.

Burgh clasped his hands over his nose and mouth. "This is really cute…" he finally said. "Seriously, this is adorable." He was referring to the building the Dream Smoke Trail led to. It was a tall and very exclusive hotel, and it was right across the street from Burgh's gym. You could knock either building down and hit the other with it. The front doors were swarming with hostile-looking Plasma soldiers, but maybe that was new. What could not have been so new was the placard hanging next to the front doors marking this weekend as **Plas-Con.** "I must've walked by that sign like fifty times this month," Burgh admitted. "I had no idea they were talking about Team Plasma. I would've bought tickets, because these guys are just so heartwarming."

"I'm sorry, what?" Cheren asked.

"Hey!" a tough-looking Plasma grunt yelled, waving at us. Burgh waved back without much enthusiasm. "Tonight's a private meeting of Team Plasma leadership! We're opening to the public tomorrow night, but for now you have to keep out!"

"Hey," Burgh said, more of a greeting than an interjection. "Listen, um, I'm the Castelia City Gym Leader – you see it right over there, mm-hmm? Yeah, it's pretty hard to miss – and that means I basically have the key to the city and can just barge in wherever the hell I want. So… yeah, stand back for me and my little buddies here, because I'm the sheriff in this town, bitch."

"My orders come from the Seven Sages themselves!" the grunt replied. "Team Plasma doesn't bow to the authority of any single city, and I certainly don't take orders from some smug fashion victim!"

"Oh, okay," Burgh said, clasping his hands over his mouth. "HmmmmmMMMMmmmm…. I guess we'll have to just have to have a Pokémon battle to decide it, like any two decent men with a disagreement."

"And why should I move if I lose?" the Plasma soldier replied with a smirk.

"Because if all your Pokémon have fainted," Burgh said patiently, "I can just bulldoze you yourself. Not that I would, but… the _implications…"_

"I've heard enough!" the grunt shouted. "Get him, boys!" About a half-dozen random minions surrounded Burgh.

"Oh, boy, I hope there's a dogpile!" Burgh shouted. "Go, Seth!" Burgh sent out a Whirlipede, a sort of purple insect Pokémon with red markings, about the shape of a monster truck tire and almost as large.

"Get ready," Cheren told me. "This is probably your only chance for a sneak peek at Burgh's fighting style."

"Hey, you!" I looked up at two of the Grunts that weren't sending out Pokémon against Seth, both girls.

"I remember you kids," one of them said. "You beat us at Wellspring Cave."

"That was humiliating!" the other agreed. "How about a rematch? We'll show you the strength our convictions have given us!"

"I could say the same thing to you," Cheren said, sending out his Purrloin – which, I noticed, had evolved. "Get ready, Bass."

"I'll show you my strength by not even calling attacks," I proposed. I sent out Largo. "This girl's Pokémon are going to attack you. Have fun."

"Sounds good," Largo said, cracking his knuckles. "Eddie will tag out with me if shit gets real, yeah?"

"Absolutely," Edward agreed. "But I don't think they'll have any giants for me to slay." By now I had turned my attention back to Burgh and his Whirlipede Seth, which was mostly blocking attacks. For now.

"Castelia's hottest Pokémon is _Seth,_" Burgh bragged. "He's got EVERYTHING… an earsplitting scream, venom glands in his tail, a fetching color scheme, and a Defense Curl-Rollout combo!" Seth was suddenly on the offensive, rolling over some poor sap's Patrat and picking up momentum. "Just when you think you're home free, knock-knock. Who's there, is it Snuggle Bug? No, bitch, it's Pursuit! Running just makes you a target!" I watched as a Sandile was flattened trying to get some distance. "With this many targets, the Rollout can just keep going 'til the sun comes up!" Burgh said happily. I took a mental note.

"Just about done here!" Largo called. I turned my attention back to him. A Patrat was lying on the road, conscious but cradling its bleeding nose and mouth. A Sandile had bitten down on Largo's leg, but he had just slipped out of his 'pants', leaving it with nothing. Largo got behind the Sandile and yanked it into the air by its tail. "Aaaaaaand Back Break!" Largo grabbed the Sandile by its tail and neck and slammed it spine-first against his knee. The Sandile gasped, dropping Largo's shed skin. He let it fall to the ground and slipped his 'pants' back on. "Pretty slick, yeah?"

"See?" the Plasma grunt I was battling yelled. "Do you see how cruel people are to Pokémon?"

"He's pretty clearly a Pokémon," I said. "You were actually the only human who took part in this battle."

"Yeah, but…" the Plasma woman fumbled for an argument. "I bet he picked up this behavior from humans…"

"Now, on the curb!" Largo was dragging the helpless Sandile by its tail over to the sidewalk. "Put your jaw on the curb, yeah?" The Sandile growled at him pathetically. "I said 'jaw on the curb,' yeah? NOW!" The Patrat started to cry.

"Largo, that's enough," I ordered.

"You said 'have fun,'" he deadpanned. "Aw, come on, chief. I wasn't really gonna curb-stomp her, yeah?" He sighed. "Hey, maybe next time you could get me a folding chair to use as my Held Item."

The Team Plasma crowd was dispersing, muttering bitterly. Burgh had taken on six of them with one Pokémon, and the general consensus seemed to be to leave him to the Sages present. He marched into the hotel's lobby, Cheren and I at his heels. "That's some Scraggy you found there," Cheren said. "Did you catch him in the desert this morning?"

"Yeah, but he's more of a city Pokémon, really," I replied.

"Funny how urban Pokémon can be so much more vicious than those found in nature," he replied. I looked sidelong at him. Was he implying something? No, it was just a coincidence.

"That was pretty brutal," I admitted, "but the Pokémon will recover. And hopefully I demoralized that grunt as badly as I did her mons. We've fought her twice already. I don't want to fight Team Plasma every day for the rest of my life."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Cheren said. "I've gotta become Champion."

"My word, if it isn't the Gym Leader." I looked up. At the far end of the lobby from the door were two men in furry hats who could only be more of the Seven Sages, flanking the guy with the really weird robes I had first seen in Accumula. The latter was speaking. "This is a private meeting, I'm afraid, so if you've got business, please state it."

"Mmm, yeah," Burgh said, clasping his hands over his face again. "MmmHMMM. I've gotta say, you guys have this really hot thing going on, it's sharp. Terrorists in chain mail: it's original, it's striking, it's very sexy. But I'm not really sure what you guys are doing, and it's just kinda sad when you send Grunts after me to get owned, so why don't you guys clear me up on what's going on here?"

One of the Sages, who wore an orange-lined robe and sunglasses, and had receding white hair, raised his hand. "Yeah, sorry about that, bro. This was my bad. I thought, 'hey, if we set up the hideout right across from the Gym, it'll be too obvious. That bro's not gonna suspect a thing."

"That's because you're an idiot, Bronius!" the other Sage yelled. He was the tan-skinned one in the red-trimmed robe I had seen before the fossil raid. "You couldn't catch a good idea if you were standing outside in a brainstorm!"

"Actually, that worked," Cheren admitted. "We didn't notice this building at all until a Pokémon tracked you here by scent.

Bronius grinned. "You owe me a Coke, Rood." Rood just grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, that wasn't really what I was asking," Burgh pressed. "What are you guys actually trying to accomplish?"

"Well, since you're such an important person and you can appreciate us," the outlandishly dressed man said with a shrug, "I think we can tell you. You're familiar with the legend of the birth of Unova, yes?"

"The black dragon of ideals and the white dragon of truth?" I asked.

"That's the one. Well, each dragon appeared before a hero… a visionary… and showed them the way to unite the world. It shared its knowledge with the hero's supporters, and bared its fangs at their enemies. And in the end, what happened?"

"The hero of the white dragon died in a freak accident," Cheren replied. "And the hero of the black dragon founded Unova and named it after his worthy foe. Everybody who went to elementary school here knows the legend." I was aware of Iris and Bianca approaching us from behind. Iris was muttering encouraging words to Bianca, who was still on the edge of hysteria.

"That's right. Now, Team Plasma seeks to bring about the second coming of the black dragon and its hero. As its founder, Sage Ghetsis, I am confident that we can bring about the world Team Plasma desires – a world where Pokémon are kept separate from the people who abuse them – with the power of the black dragon!"

_"Zekrom, the legendary Pokémon of ideals!"_ The proclamation rang in my ears unbidden. Were N and Team Plasma looking for the same legendary Pokémon?

"Uh-huh," Iris said. "Burgh, did they explain this fascination with Dream Smoke yet?"

"I was just about to ask that," Cheren replied.

"I admit our quest for Munna has been conducted a bit hastily," Ghetsis admitted. "We have put a different Sage on that project starting today. At any rate, we desire Munna because dreams have been proven as a source of prophecy and true sight, and we hope to find the black dragon through that route."

"Bronius is an excellent prophet," Rood added. "That's the only reason we keep him around."

Bronius managed a silly grin. "Keep telling them, bro."

"I knew it would cause friction to obtain Munna from trainers," Ghetsis continued, "but we figured it would kill two Pidove with one stone… not that we kill Pidove with stones or any other implements. After all, liberating Pokémon from unworthy trainers is the foundation of our agenda."

"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah," Burgh said. "This is what I was afraid of. You guys are _adorable, _but we're gonna have to break up. Irreconcilable differences… and stuff." Ghetsis raised an eyebrow. "Here's the thing, Dennis. Castelia City, you may have noticed… we've got a little of everything, every people, in the whole wide world. And a lot of young, sexy folks. The point is, if there's anything we've all got in common, it's Pokémon. Pokémon is my favorite ice breaker, 'cause there's nobody who says to me that they don't like Pokémon. I heard your speech in Accumula on the radio. Very nice, you've got a great voice. And I listened, and I decided… it's going to be even more about my Pokémon for me, from now on. My Pokémon are great! They've got everything…"

"You're a very interesting person, Burgh," Ghetsis interrupted, and Burgh's eye twitched. "And you're smart, too – I like that. I think that when we obtain the heir to the hero and the black dragon – and we're closer than you might think – you'll come around. But for now, I'm going to just agree to disagree. As a sign of goodwill, I'll even return the Pokémon that caused this trouble. Rood!" he snapped his fingers, lifting them from under the robe.

"Yes, Lord Dennis?" Rood asked, his resigned tone indicating he already knew the answer.

"Return this girl's Munna." Rolling his eyes, Rood handed over the bound Munna to Bianca.

"Navi!" Bianca hugged it tight. "Oh, thank you!"

"Bianca!" Iris, to my genuine surprise, slapped Bianca across the back of the head forcefully. "Don't thank them! They took the Pokémon in the first place!"

"I know, but…" Bianca stuttered, teary-eyed.

Ghetsis smiled warmly at the scene. "Even I admit that people and Pokémon often have a touching relationship. But when the black dragon comes again, everybody will see the ideal world – and I'm confident that the choice will become clear then. This world is populated with fools, and not everybody's friendship with their Pokémon is as pure as this one." I saw the guilt creeping into Cheren's expression as Ghetsis turned and bored into him with his visible eye. Then he turned to me – and in that instant, I felt like I was being peeled apart as he looked me through to the core. It made me sick somewhere deeper than my stomach. "I only want the best for Unova," he said. "Farewell…"

"Go, Brollution!" Bronius called. He released a Garbodor – an evolved Trubbish that was practically a walking dumpster without the dumpster. "Use Fling!" The Garbodor obediently spat up a black orb, which exploded with smoke when it hit the floor. I jumped backward to avoid the worst of it, but even then I was left coughing. When the smoke cleared, there wasn't a single Team Plasma member left in the building – just a spent Smoke Ball.

* * *

><p>The affair wrapped up quickly after that. Iris introduced herself to us properly – she was a travelling trainer as well, only she was gathering life experience before she took over fully as Opelucid City's gym leader. Bianca was really thankful for the way she had comforted her during her moment of crisis (I had rushed to reverse the damage that had been done, but I had kind of missed the extent to which Bianca had been having a breakdown). So when Burgh said Iris needed a tour guide in the city, Bianca was happy to help. I walked Cheren back to the Pokémon center; he wished me luck as our Pokémon were healed. "Beware his Leavanny," Cheren told me.<p>

My Pokémon and I were just finishing up dinner as we got back to Gym Street. Nothing like Castelia City pizza to warm you up to Castelia City. This was my drug of choice any day. I was most of the way through my fourth slice of meat lover's when I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. "I want you guys to act naturally when I tell you what I'm about to tell you," I said through a full slice of pizza. "We're being watched."

"What?" Tormod yelped.

"I said 'act natural,'" I said angrily.

"I don't know how!" he whimpered, "I was raised in captivity!"

I resisted the urge to facepalm and instead gave him the rest of my last slice (he had finished his already). "Just act like you're getting psyched up for the Gym." I looked around, making it look like I was cracking my neck, but I didn't see anything. "Rolf, help me out here. Open windows with no lights on – see any?"

"Yeah, actually." In the dark, even Rolf was squinting. "Right above us – the hotel that had Team Plasma earlier."

"Where exactly?"

Rolf counted silently for a moment. "Twenty-third floor up… third window from the left."

"Hmm…" I grumbled. "Brom, do you think you can hit that open window with a Rock Blast?"

"What, are you kidding?" Brom asked. "These rocks don't move so fast. I couldn't hit anything more than five or six stories up."

"Shit. Zihark?"

"What, with a Razor Leaf?" he squinted. "I can't even see the windows past floor ten."

I looked straight at the window, hoping whoever was watching me saw that. "It's fine. Let's get inside."

The inside of the Gym was everything Cheren had warned me about, and more. The lobby was mild enough, by which I mean that there was a bench for Clyde the guide to sit in and there were only three colors of lighting. As for the 'floor' of the gym… I'll let Burgh explain it the way his voice popped over the speakers.

"It's got EVERYTHING. Hexagonal chambers made of beeswax… doorways filled with elastic honey… strobe lights, club lights, black lights, fairy lights… black velvet paintings… and the trainers!" Burgh laughed like a noblewoman. "Oh, those trainers! You're gonna love it, sweetie!" Then his voice cut out, replaced with more house music being played at half speed. Clyde tossed me a water bottle, but he had a blissed-out look on his face and was speaking in broken Latin, and I'm willing to bet pearls to Pokéballs that there was something in the fizzy, odd-smelling "Fresh Water" he tossed me.

"Knives, knives, all types of knives!" In the first 'cell', I found the drug dealer from earlier, Harman, dancing with his Munna. "Everybody pick out your favorite knife!"

"Harman?" I asked.

"Short ones, long ones, one with spikes!" he chanted. "Three seconds left to choose your knife!"

"Harman!" I shouted. "Are you a Gym Trainer here?"

"Huh? No, I deal drugs," he explained. "My cousin told me I'd get lots of customers here, and he was right! Would you like some more Sigg?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"That stuff I gave you earlier." He held up the rest of the sheet of it. "Short for Sigilyph Extract."

"That? Nah." I waved it away. "I didn't have much fun on it, and I kept blacking out."

He frowned. "That's not the usual effect it has on people. Maybe you should try some of this instead?" He held up a bottle of pink pills. "This stuff is mostly Dream Smoke extract. I just got my hands on it, and like everybody in this gym bought some! It's good stuff! Some people see the future on it! Other people wake up with a Pokémon in their lap that they met during the dream!"

"I-I really don't think…" I argued.

"Pills! Pills! All types of pills!" Bollo chanted. "Everybody must take at least one pill!"

"Gobble them, swallow them, eat them down!" They were singing together now. "Don't spit them out, because we'll know!"

"Yeah, I'm gonna pass." I walked past him. "I'm saving up for TMs. And more pizza."

"Suit yourself," Bollo said, belching Dream Smoke toward the ceiling.

"Oh, man, Bollo, I could go for some pizza," Harman said.

"Have a good time, Harman," I said with a wave.

He blinked at me. "Call me Frank. Harman's the last name." I made a silent 'oh' and he shrugged. "I wanted to be show biz when I came here, and my friends were like, 'You'll never be a star with a name like Harmonia! But I'm a homeless drug dealer now, so maybe I should've kept it." He shrugged again. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, be true to yourself! Later." He skipped off to the beat of the music. "The pills take hold of your mind and flesh! You're brave and strong, you don't fear death!"

"Weeeeeeee!" Bollo bobbed after him.

I chuckled darkly. Be true to myself? Yeah, and maybe then I would go share a salad with Bianca. "He is just full of bad ideas," I muttered.

"What was that?" Edward said. "It's hard to hear over this music!"

"I said "let's go find Burgh!" I wandered through the open wall of the cell and found myself in front of a metal gate blocking a barrier made of solid honey. "Huh. I'll give credit to Burgh, he's some kind of architect." I turned around. "Do you guys see any kind of… switch…" Back the way I had came lurked what I could only presume was the first gym trainer. He was a dark-skinned guy, about six and a half feet tall, and probably three hundred pounds of fat and muscle. He was dressed in a diaper, booties, and a baby bonnet, and he sucked menacingly on a pacifier. "Have you seen a switch around here somewhere?" I asked him. He shook his rattle in reply. It had a Pokéball on the end.

* * *

><p>I climbed up out of the water, soaking wet, and spat. The taste of seawater can wear on you after a few hours. I would've come by a land route if I could, but that was out of the question. Who would let me on the ferry? Permission or not, I needed to be here. It had become clear that as I was, I could not carry out my dark mission, and if Victini granted me his favor, I knew more power would follow.<p>

It was the dead of night, but I heard voices. Sighing impatiently, I hid in the scrubby bushes that grew at the edge of the beach. At any rate, the lighthouse was shining, so I could be spotted – and I could spy on the speakers. It was a pair of soldiers from Team Plasma – a fierce-looking woman and a passive-looking man. My eyes blazed, but I restrained myself to listen to their conversation. "What are you doing out of uniform, soldier?"

"…do you mean my goggles, boss?" the grunt asked.

"No, I mean the foam finger," the woman drawled. "Of course the goggles!"

"I need them to see. They're, um, prescription."

"Bullshit, I've seen you bare-eyed before!"

"I can't afford new contacts… I quit my job when I joined…"

"Don't you have glasses?"

"I thought these would be more appropriate. We do a lot of physical work and-"

"We've got a very strict dress code, soldier! Take them off, and bring glasses tomorrow night!"

"But I'm blind as a bat without-"

The woman pulled the goggles off him and threw them in the sand near me. "I don't make the rules, soldier, I just enforce them! If I see those goggles again, I'm bringing out my Sandile and having it do a contraband search around your genital area! Are we clear?"

"Crystal, sir!" The woman nodded, satisfied, and walked away. The Plasma grunt moaned in frustration as soon as she was out of sight and padded toward me. This was the best chance I would get. I stepped out from the bushes. "Wh-who's there?" he asked, his voice lacking enough confidence to carry above a mutter.

I drove my elbow into his gut, winding him and knocking him over. With my opposite paw I grabbed his belt, falling with him. No Pokéballs – he truly was low-ranking – but he had an antiquated blade on him, a dagger or a short sword. For me it was a fine length, and I liberated it from him. Ironic, considering Team Plasma's mission. **"Hello,"** I said. **"My name is Audino Montoya. You have joined the wrong organization. Prepare to die."**

He started to scream, so I grabbed him by the hood and cut his throat. Too late – I heard footsteps approaching. I wiped off the sword on his hood and stalked back into the bushes. It was the woman and another man, plus an older man in a fur coat. I recognized him – one of the Sages. I would've smiled if I could take joy in such a man under any circumstances.

"AR-ceus!" the woman shouted. "What the fuck is this? I was talking to this guy two minutes ago!"

"First Victini's gone, now this!" the other grunt complained. My ears twitched. Victini was gone before they got here – bad news for me, but good news for everybody who wasn't them.

The Sage crouched at my victim. "It wasn't the same entity," he said. "This was a clean cut with Adrian's own weapon – somebody strong, but not strong enough to easily kill him unarmed." He stood up, his eyes sweeping around. I closed my own to prevent him seeing their reflection. "You saw Victini's suite – burns, claw marks, doors ripped from their hinges. We have some other company, probably somebody who just arrived on the island." I reopened my eyes, and suppressed a gasp. He was looking right at me, had probably seen me even without my red eyes showing him the way.

"We should get out of here," the male grunt suggested. "One killer with a short sword and one kidnapper with Hyper Beam is two enemies too many."

"Agreed," the Sage said. "As the good book says, 'If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or you may lose.' Another great man once said, 'Discretion is the better part of valor.'" He turned away, walking towards a black shape in the darkness – a boat, I realized. "I say, 'let's get the fuck out of here.'"

I stepped out of the bushes. **"Hello. My name is Audino Montoya. You helped to kill me. Prepare to die."**

The Sage hesitated. "Montoya, was it? Lord Dennis has been wondering about you." He did not look at me. "Send out your Pokémon and run," he ordered. He did only the latter, but the Grunts tossed a Sandile and a Watchog at me. The Sandile came at me jaws first; I leapt over the attack, Stomped it on the neck, and was past it while it shook off the flinch. The Watchog got between me and its owner; I sensed that it wouldn't go down from a simple Doubleslap, and it looked ready to bust out Hypnosis.

I raised the dagger. Unfortunately for it, I had just learned Slash.

They were already boarding their boat – it had been closer than I thought. "My Watchog!" the remaining male grunt yelled.

"Forget it," the Sage growled, "it's gone!" The female grunt recalled her Pokémon as the man started the engine. The Sage saw me advancing. "Shit." He deployed his Pokémon – a Krookodile – just outside the boat. I remembered it, and from the way it snarled my name, it remembered me.

**"Prepare to die!" **I repeated. I was only about thirty feet from them now, and closing as fast as I could on my short legs.

"Another day," the Sage replied. "Krookodile, use Fissure." The Krookodile placed its forelimbs on the wet sand, and the ground opened up beneath me in a gaping maw. I tried to grab the edges, tried to find a handhold, but there was only sand and thin air. I finally hit the wet sand at the bottom after a drop that I could guess was at least forty feet. I stuck the knife between my teeth, knowing I'd need both paws to have any chance to dig my way out when the Fissure slammed shut.

A tremendous crashing noise made me turn around. The Fissure had been pretty powerful – too powerful, in fact. The lighthouse had sunk a bit, and was falling over and into the Fissure, smashing itself apart on the sides of the maw. A piece of concrete several times my body weight hit me in the skull and crushed me, forcing my Regenerator to kick in. Sometime between that point and when I regained awareness – it couldn't have been more than thirty seconds – the Fissure slammed shut. I came to blind and deaf from the sand packing me in on all sides. I barely had any idea which way was up, and that way was blocked by solid concrete. I sighed and didn't realize my mistake until sand poured into my lungs.

This could take a while.

* * *

><p>Burgh's room at the end of the gym was set on a second floor. It was pretty strange, but not particularly so considering the rest of the building. The entire room was shaped like a giant egg, broad end up… or a beehive. It was all painted in gleaming yellow, and a large stalagmite of crystallized honey hung from the ceiling. The door I entered through slid shut behind my Pokémon, form-fitting into the curved wall. The lights were dim but normal compared to the gym floor. Across from me was Burgh, sitting in a recliner and wearing glasses that looked like compound eyes. A projector from within the hanging spike of honey cast amber-tinted holograms in front of Burgh. I recognized some TV programs, as well as security footage from around the gym. "Ah, Layla!" Burgh clapped for me. "Welcome to the observatory! You did so well against my trainers!"<p>

"You mean the giant black man-baby, the old hobo who was covered only by his beard, and the swarthy, shirtless midget on the unicycle?" I asked.

"And the clowness!" Burgh added, clasping his hands over his face. "The one with that thing…"

"That thing where she looked like a fat clown, but she was actually a skinny clown who kept her Sewaddles inside her jacket like a momma Kangaskhan?"

"Yeah, that thing." Burgh removed his goggles and looked at me. "Damn, girl, what happened to your clothes?" He had only just noticed that my jacket and pants were gone, and my hat, socks, and shoes were slick with honey. My hat also looked chewed-on.

"You weren't watching?" I asked drily.

"Honey, I was only watching you while _Queer as Mons_ was on commercial."

"Well…" I crossed my arms. "Tormod half-melted one of your stupid fucking honey doors during a battle, and I got slimed with honey when I went through it. Then a few of your drugged-up loony partygoers accosted me, pulling my clothes off to suck the honey out of them. My jacket was torn nearly in half, and they broke the button on my pants yanking it off me. I had to have Tormod beat up the guy with my hat and handbag so I could get it back." I uncrossed and recrossed my arms. Luckily, I was still wearing a T-shirt and underwear, so it just looked like I had shown up at Burgh's office for a pajama party. "Tomorrow, I'm going to a tailor and dry cleaners, and I'm gonna bill the gym."

"Aw, sweetie, I'll give you some new clothes!" Burgh said. "I've got just the stuff for you! If you win, that is…"

"Fine," I grumbled. "You shouldn't be letting your gym trainers take drugs that make them try and eat candy-coated challengers, though."

Burgh frowned. "The drug dealers were scheduled for tomorrow night."

"Well, there was one in here tonight. Harman or Harmonia…"

Burgh blinked at me. "I'll have to check the camera footage. But first, a battle!" He stood up and clapped three times. His chair retracted into the wall, taking his glasses with them. The holograms disappeared, and the room brightened up. With the lights on, I noticed the two biggest paintings in the gym. One was of an orgy, and I looked away, blushing. The other was a nice landscape of Pinwheel Forest, and it looked incredibly out of place. "Three Pokémon each, right here," Burgh explained. "Ready?" He sent out Seth, who I recognized from earlier.

"Yeah. Tormod, you're up!"

"Right," Tormod said, stomping forward. "Let's knock these guys down and go get some sleep!" I blinked, realizing it had to be almost midnight by now. _Oh well. This shouldn't take more than a few minutes._

"Burgh, I challenge you for the Gym Badge!" I called, making it official.

"It's on, sweetie. Seth, Poison Tail!" The Whirlipede was on us almost immediately, uncurling and lashing out.

"Tormod, Defense Curl!" Tormod got into a more defensive position, letting his tough-skinned, muscular arms and back take the blow. But the tough skin wasn't enough – a spine from the end of the tail stuck in Tormod's arm after the blow, dripping a lurid violet fluid. "Shit."

"Best take care, Layla." Burgh grinned darkly. "The townsfolk may call me the Most Insect Artist-"

"What does that even mean?"

"Don't interrupt me, sweetie – but Pokémon Leaguers call me the Black Queen!"

* * *

><p><strong>Yay action chapter! Well, action and some other stuff... like a generous helping of Burgh. In case anybody was still wondering, Burgh is largely based on Stefon, an SNL character who's appeared on about six Weekend Updates. He recommends extremely strange nightclubs around NYC to the crowd, describing them in much the same way that Burgh describes stuff here, and he hits on Seth Myers, which is why Burgh's Whirlipede is named Seth.<strong>

**Harman is also singing from "The Tizzle Wizzle Show" in the club, a digital short also from SNL and a parody of Yo Gabba Gabba. The sketch is either hilarious or terrifying, depending on your POV, much like Burgh's club.**

**Montoya! Originally Cheren was gonna discover Victini's lighthouse all fucked up, but Montoya doesn't encounter Layla for a few chapters before or after this (because I haven't been fighting Audino), so I figured what the hell. It also lets me show a high-level Pokemon in action, and Gorm and his steely danger are a nice contrast to the antics of Bronius.**

**Nuzlocke challenge (c) Nuzlocke**  
><strong>Pokemon (c) Nintendo and Game Freak<strong>  
><strong>Layla (c) me<strong>


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